207: I Don't Glisten

When I was in high school I read trashy romance novels.  Actually I read whatever I could get my hands on, but the romance novels seemed to be more frequent.  As a side note, now that I'm happily married, I can't seem to get into romance novels - maybe because I have my own romance? 

Anyway, back to the novels.  Every one of them would talk about how the woman glistened instead of sweated.  Glisten.  It sounds so romantic and cute and pretty.  Well, I don't glisten.  I can't believe I'm going to do this, but here goes...this is what I look like after 4.5 miles in 60 minutes at 5am:

I am a hot mess.  I certainly don't look like I glisten, do I?  Nope.  I plain old sweat up a storm.  I sweat first in my head so it's always bad. It was worse before I started wearing the headbands to keep my hair back and sop up some of that sweat.  I always wonder if the people at the gym who know me by name would recognize me outside of the gym when I'm not a hot mess?  Sometimes I want to go in, dressed like normal, and see if they call me by name.

Are you a hot mess when you exercise?  Or do you glisten?

208.8; Still Alive and Kicking

I have to be honest here.  The last week and a half has worn me out.  We had a house guest and the kids and thing to do/places to go.  By Sunday night I couldn't stay awake past 8pm.  And when I tried to work out on Monday morning, it just wasn't working.  Running/walking was frustrating and my knee hurt.  I ended up going out of the Body Pump class in the middle because someone was faint.  I was plain old worn out and my body was trying to tell me that, but I was fighting to keep doing what I do.

Bottom line is that it didn't work.

I think there is a fine line between pushing yourself and listening to when you need a break.  I'm frustrated that I haven't lost inches or pounds in the last couple of weeks.  But Pushing my body past tiredness is one thing and pushing past exhaustion is another.  I suppose that I'll end up going over that line again several times before I realize what's happening with my body.

This morning's workout was a struggle.  I ran, but slow.  I walked, but my feet hurt.  I did it though.  For an hour.  And this afternoon I feel better for it.

207.2; Memorial Weekend Friday Fives

1.  My puppy dawg got a cut.  A buzzzzz cut.  Does your puppy dawg hang his head in shame for the first 24 hours after a good cut?  Mine does.

2.  I had the best dinner last night.  Our house guest set out cold chicken, cut up peppers and onions, avocado, peppered salmon, crusty french bread and creamy feta cheese.  We sat on the living room floor eating picnic style and talked.  It was relaxing, yummy and I didn't over eat.

3.  I'm going to be spending the weekend with 2 kiddos who've never camped.  Lord help me.  It's going to rain and then be hotter than Hades.

4.  I portioned up snacks last night.  Grass fed beef summer sausage, low calorie cheddar slices, watermelon, grapes, kiwi, banana bread, cookies and strawberries.  I put the dry snacks in a plastic box that will go in the back of my SUV and the cold things in a reusable grocery bag that fits in my fridge so I can grab it and go!

5.  I'm a Body Pump addict.  Really.  I love the class and can now clean & press almost 40 pounds.  LOVE!

Have a great weekend!!

207.4; Weekend Prep

I feel like I'm the only one working today, but I'm not.  I have the afternoon off because I have to be here tomorrow all day.  We have a guest from out of town staying with us and I'm picking up my almost 10 year old niece and 6 year old nephew tomorrow for the weekend. 

Busy.  With a capital B.

So this afternoon I'm packing snack bags for all of us.  Pre-portioned bags of grapes, banana bread, cookies, watermelon, strawberries, cheerio bars...  Yes, I'm packaging things that are sugary and sweet too.  But I'm pre-packaging them.  So when I crave the sweet thing this weekend because I see the kids with it, I know that I'm taking one serving.

I'm also filling a cooler with water for me and other drinks for the kids.  No excuse not to get my water in.

And I'm going to try to talk them into going to the gym with me.

I'm hoping that the prep will help make it easier to make better choices in the rush and business of a holiday weekend.

208.0; The Color Black

When you're heavy, black is your favorite color.  I loved black.  It's slimming.  It's a constant.  It pairs with almost anything.  I had several black shirts, sweatshirts and long sleeved shirts that I loved.  I had several pairs of black pants that I loved. 

Black was a big part of my wardrobe, even in the summer.  And while I think that tan capri pants and a black top is classic, it wasn't what I dreamed of.  I dreamed of this:

Something nautical and summery.  But I knew that I could never pull it off and still blend into the background.  After all, that's what my friend, the color black helped me do. 

Last week I was going through my 4 pairs of capri pants and my 5 or 6 tops and I realized that I owned no black tops.  How was this?  How did this happen?  Black is my staple, it's my friend and I had none of it to wear.  Oh sure, I had black capri pants, but nothing in black on top.

Then I realized, I wasn't subconsciously ALWAYS choosing black when I shopped.  I think that it became so ingrained for me to chose black in a top ALL THE TIME, that I had a hard time seeing other colors.  In fact, I had a lot of black tops that I donated to the local charity in my bags of clothes.  Now, I realized that I was choosing hot pink, coral & white, purples and greens and even light blues.  I'm choosing what I like and if I don't absolutely love it, I'm not buying it.  I'm not buying it because I DO have other options.

So did I go and buy that outfit up there?  No.  Not yet.  But I intend to when my pants size goes down 1 more size so it will last be a bit longer.  I did buy a pair of white capri pants.  I don't think I've EVER owned a pair of white pants.  You know what else I did?  I bought a black top.  It's a knit wrap top that hugs my new found shape.  And I bought it because I like it.  And it's the only black top that I have.

208.0; Weekend Picture Recap

My Neapolitan cake.  Verdict?  The guests loved it.  The vanilla cake was pretty tasteless and very dense.  It was much better paired with frosting though.  The chocolate layer needed more structure, it fell in the middle, but tasted awesome.  The strawberry layer was prefect and I'd make it again in a heartbeat.

My Dad and Pete shooting at the outdoor range.  The motorcycle club plans events and this was one on them.  We all had a great time.  I fired a black powder gun and a rifle for the first time.  Both were pretty cool!

My Dad shooting my uncle's rifle.  My uncle died suddenly when I as 20.  He was only 14 years older than me and I miss him.  I'm glad that I got to shoot his rifle.

Nico is an "aggressive chewer". He does it appropriately, but we go through bones like crazy.  So Pete thought this bone would last a while because he couldn't move it and would chew only when in the living room.  WRONG.  The 20 lb dog got the 4.5 lb bone up the stairs last night into our bedroom!

208.0: Busy Week Requires Planning

I have a recap of the weekend all set for tomorrow.  In the mean time, I did some thinking about why I wasn't motivated to the gym the last 2 weeks.  I believe that part of it was frustration over a lack of weight change.  I had what Pete calls body shaping, in that I was losing inches and it was good.  But my weight wasn't changing.  I got burned out in my lack of progress.  Then I had a fill and for 2 days afterwards at soup and jello and lost 4 pounds. 

Bottom line, I got lazy.  I thought the fill would solve it all and I could back off on exercising and watching my food.  In reality I had doughnuts for break fast 3 times last week.  In reality I wasn't at the gym ONCE last week.  I'm going to start calling this my Superman complex.  Superman in that I have a couple of items converge and it makes me think that I am unstoppable.  In reality, I'm far from it. 

And the more I thought about this, the more I realized that the Superman Complex isn't a bad thing.  It makes me take a step back, refocus and reevaluate where I'm at/where I want to be.  It's a teaching moment for myself.  It makes me remember why I started all this and where I want to be at some point.  So just when I think that it's all easy, I need a reminder that it's not easy and I need to fight.  So I got my lazy behind up at 4:40 this morning and walked/jogged/ran 4 miles at the gym this morning.

This week is a busy one.  Today Pete's friend Vic is coming from Texas to stay with us for the next 10 days.  He hasn't been to MN in a long time and he's anxious to see his new Grandbaby.  Pete's anxious to have a good friend who he can ride with and hang out with.  Next weekend is Memorial Weekend and we agreed to have my almost 10 year old niece and 6 year old nephew for the weekend to go camping.  And in all this I need to work, work out and spend some time with my hubby and his friend.  So I need a plan.  A good plan.

I know it's hard to see.  But I scheduled in my gym times and what the plan for dinner was.  I have fruit and yogurt already here at work for the week's breakfasts and snacks.  I also have soups for lunch. 

206.2; Friday Fives

1.  I made this Neapolitan Cake last night.  Only I made it 3 regular 9inch layers.  And I frosted it with plain vanilla fluffy frosting.  I learned if you whip the butter before adding anything else to the frosting it gets very fluffy.  I'll take a photo when I cut into it to show you want my version looked like.  And amazingly, I tasted a small spoon of each batter to make sure the flavorings were off, but didn't eat anything else.  Pete on the other hand is a cake batter LOVER.

2.  We're having guests for dinner tonight.  I made lots of yummy food for the occasion.

3.  We have a "Range Ride" for our motorcycle club Sunday.  We have a short ride, a lunch and then we shoot at any open range.  All kinds of handguns and rifles and shotguns.  There is even someone's homemade cannon.  I think Pete has talked my Dad into coming with us.

4.  Pete's friend Vic is coming from Texas on Monday for a week and a half.  H' 'spretty excited.

5.  I haven't been back to the gym to run.  I can't figure out what is mentally stopping me, but I need to figure it out this weekend and get back at it.

205.8: I'm Not A Fashionista

When I was a kid, my parents didn't have a lot of money.  They bought a house when I was 9 and it was about that age that I started noticing brands in school.  I longed for the coolest Tiger tennis shoes to wear with my Gloria Vanderbilt jeans.

Old-School Tigers

But it just wasn't going to happen.  I got a poor imitation of them that wasn't cool at all.  But I lived with it.  As for jeans, we wore off brand and if we were lucky, we wore Lee jeans, which were okay, but certainly not "IT". 

In college I was in kind of a no man's land regarding fashion.  I still didn't have enough to keep up with all the latest trends.  My parents were paying for college and I knew it was hard on them.  I had a part time job, but it certainly didn't cover everything.  And to be honest, by that time I was more interested in the $5 a beer cup/kegger house parties, Thursday through Saturday.  My fashion consisted of a couple of pair of fake jeans, some stretchy pants and different shirts and sweatshirts.  Hardly a fashionista.

On my 20th birthday my family came to St. Cloud where I was going to college to take me to dinner.  I don't remember the dinner part, but I do remember my Mom telling me that we were going shopping.  It was surprising because we didn't shop well together then.  I could stand in a store entry and tell that the clothing wasn't for me, she insisted that we go in every store and look at every rack.  But I went, because she offered to buy me jeans.

I do remember standing in the doorway of the store at the mall, which store I have no idea.  I wanted to walk away and she pulled me in.  In reality, when I stopped at the entryway of the stores, it was because I was sure that they didn't have my size.  I was embarrassed.  Yet, I let her pull me in and yank some sizes off the rack and send me to the fitting room.  I remember being really surprised that a size 14 fit me.  I had been an 18 and must have lost weight in my dorm life and all the activity of school.  I also remember that year that I could share clothes with my sister.  It opened up a whole new wardrobe and I was somewhat a fashionista that year. 

By the end of college I was a size 22 and I would get as high as a "tight" size 24 and 3X.  During/after one of my TMJ surgeries I got down to an 18/20.  However, it didn't last past that summer and I never looked back to the lower sizes.

Why am I telling you this?  Yesterday I was at Costco and saw the Gloria Vanderbilt jeans.  They don't hold the same power as jeans that they did when I was a kid.  In fact they were $13.  The "power" jeans now are $80-$200 and upwards.  But I bought a pair because I'm down to 1 pair of jeans that fit me.  I need at least 3 for the summer because of all the riding we do and extended weekend trips with no washer.

If you can't read that, it's a SIZE 14!!!  I went home convinced that they wouldn't fit, but that they would in a couple of weeks if I kept working at it.  But I shimmied those jeans up my legs and buttoned the waist and danced down the stairs to show Pete.  a 14!  I haven't been this size for 20+ years.  They may not be the most fashionable things, but they work for riding the motorcycle and hanging out.

Size 14.  I am a size 14.

206.2; My Rings

In 2007, my night star wish came true.  The love of my life asked me to marry him.  About 9 months later we both got dressed up and said our I DO's and we're been married ever since.

My honest admission is that when I opened that ring box, I was sure that it wasn't going to fit me.  In fact I was scared to put it on.  I got even more nervous when you told me that it was a 6.5 size.  I wear a 7! my head shouted.  I hesitantly tried it on and it did fit. 

In the time since then, I've gone from that ring fitting really really tightly to just right.  But now?  Now is mostly fits like this:

My engagement ring and the two wedding bands.

See how crooked it is?  See how far up on my finger it sits? 

I was never one to wear my rings down close to my palm.  I don't like them tight, I like them loose enough to be a the meaty part of my finger.  So when the rings were tight, it was uncomfortable.  But now I have the opposite issue.  Mostly they rest where you see them.  And that's on days when it's humid/warm out.  When it's cold or I'm in my over air conditioned office, they could easily slip off if I'm not careful.  When I ride the motorcycle, the rings float around my finger and twist.  They separate and get all jumbled up.

I went in last week to ask the jeweler about them.  Because the shanks are so thin, I can have them sized only once.  So I have to be choosy about when I do this and it has to be forever.  Have I told you how naked I feel without my rings?  I waited so long to marry my soul mate that I don't like looking down and not seeing his promise on my finger. 

So in the mean time I think I need to invest in something like this ring sizer or ring guard. 

Anyone else go through weight loss and care to share what you did?

207.2: Another Fill

So I'm posting late today because I wanted to give my impressions after my fill.  When I talk about getting a fill, I'm talking about and adjustment to my band. 

This is what my abdomen looks like.  Well, almost, there are other organs and structures there too.  But this is how the band works.  The port in the bottom right is attached to what my doctor refers to as my "6-pack".  In other words, it attached to my ab muscle.  Little does she know that I want to have 6-pack some day.

When I go in for a fill she numbs up the skin over the port.  Then she has a long needle with the amount of fluid in it that we've agreed to insert.  She pokes the needle through my skin until she finds the port and the needle is seated in in.  It's a weird process to feel the needle pull, but not hurt while she finds it. 

Once she's found the port and the needle is in, she pumps the fluid in and out.  It seems strange, I know.  But the back and forth motion tells her that she really does have the port and not another structure in there.  If she had another structure she wouldn't be able to pull the fluid out because it would be in my body.  The saline would just be absorbed by my body.

Once the fluid is all in I sit up.  Then I drink sips of water to make sure that it's going down.  Once we know that it's going down without any hesitation then I'm good to go.  My band will hold a maximum of 11 cc.  Every one is different with how much restriction they need so I don't know how many fills I end up with.

It's 8 hours post fill and I don't feel the band.  I came back to work and had thinned butternut squash soup for lunch and the can filled me up.  I had jello for a snack at 2:30.  Then for dinner I had about 3/4 cup mac & cheese that I made soupy and with very very limp noodles.  When I can eat normal food again on Thursday then I'll know if it's restrictive for me.

207.2; Do I Really Need to Workout?

I went to the gym Monday and Saturday of this last week for Body Pump and that's it.  When I woke up Saturday morning I was down to 206.2.

206.2.  My lowest in years and years.

So I really do wonder if I'm working out too much?  Can I train for a 10K in September, continue my Body Pump to help build muscle and still lose weight?  I won't give up the weight training because I need to build the muscles that have sat still for so long.  I need them to build up to help me be more productive when I do cardio.  I won't lose the cardio portion of exercising because that's how I lose weight.  But I do need to push myself more to get a better burn when I do cardio.  And I really think that running a race in September would be very good for me.

I Googled it and this is the search that I found:  Training Breaks

The many articles about body building, running, skating...they all talk about taking breaks from training.  Mostly they talk about how your body needs to actively recover from so much working out.  I loved reading the perspective and information in this article.  She talks about how she loses the big picture goal because she is so caught up in the weekly training.  I think that I do this a lot and it's partly why I think signing up and training for a race would be a good thing. 

I'm going to tap my resource of my previous trainers tonight at the gym and ask about all of this.  Ask for some referrals for books or programs that will help me set goals that work for both losing the weight, regular exercise and training for a race.  I hope that there is some way to work it all out.

209.0; Friday Fives

1.  I lied.  My alarm clock overslept today on my day off and I missed Body Pump.  No gym today.  I'm still holding at 209 and my hunger is pretty much gone all the time.  It really makes me think more about my post from yesterday.

2.  I have a raging sinus infection.  But only on my left side.  I have antibiotics from the doctor, but she wants me to wait & see if it will clear up on it's own. (psssst....I don't think this one will)

3.  Cookie baking day today.  I have 4 batches of cookies in my freezer waiting to be baked with 2 more to be mixed & baked.  I wonder how many cookies are really left, given that I've seen my husband munching on frozen cookie balls all week...

4.  Rhubarb.  Do you like it?  I'm going over to my parent's house to raid their plant today and make a bunch of rhubarb muffins to give away to family at tomorrow's Mother's Day get together.

5.  Sunday is our first motorcycle club gathering of the spring.  I can't wait to ride!

208.8: No Gym For Me

My Admission:  I haven't been to the gym since Monday night's Body Pump.  I don't plan on going back until tomorrow's Body Pump class.

I'm wondering if I'm working out too hard?  I've been researching this and found this Livestrong article. 

You exercise frequently, thinking it will help you lose weight, but in fact, exercising too much may keep you from dropping pounds.

I'm wondering if  my almost daily trips to the gym are counterproductive to trying to lose the weight.  Even though I'm doing a pretty good job of mixing it up with running, ARC machine and strength classes, am I doing too much?

I think this Shape article has some good points.

Think you just lost a few pounds from that serious spin class? Don't get too excited—it's just water loss due to sweat. And the amount of water in your system has a heavy influence on the number you see on the scale.

I think my  water consumption of 125 ounces on days that I work out is adding to the weight I see on the scale every day.  When I don't work out I'm getting the 64 ounces in and as you can see in my title today, my weight is down about 3 pounds. 

 Intense workouts cause variability on the scale due to factors like hydration status, inflammation from muscle damage repair (we call this delayed onset muscle soreness), even the amount of intestinal by-product or urine and blood volume, Dolgan says.

I work out intensely each time.  Remember how I said that I never felt successfully unless I burned 1000 or more calories?  I'm pushing myself in each workout to burn the most calories I can in the time that I'm there. 

So what do I do about all this?  I'm not quite sure.  I think the last 3 days of not working out have given my body a good amount of rest.  I love Body Pump and I'm not going to quit doing that twice a week.  But maybe I need to vary up my workouts even more?  Maybe 1 longer run of 4-6 miles a week, a day of walking (and reading my Nook on the treadmill to make me stick to walking) along with a day of the bike and a day of the ARC trainer?  Maybe try swimming again? 

What I don't want is the burned out feeling of "I HAVE to do this but I DON'T want to do this" coming back.  This is where I always get stuck and sort of turn my back on trying to lose.  I need to bridge the gap that this creates in my workouts and get over to the other side to keep going.

210.2:Obesity Epidemic

Have you heard about this study?  It talks about how the rate of obesity will pretty much skyrocket in the next 20 years if nothing is done.  And yet the Center for Disease Control seems to think that the surge in obesity is dropping or changing. 

Interestingly enough the example given in the story is that a woman who is 5 foot 6 inches and weighs 186 or more is obese.  Have I told you that my goal currently is to get to 175 and reevaluate how I look and how much more I want to lose?  In other words I will still be overweight by the CDC.  Pete, at 185 pounds and 6 feet is still considered overweight.  And honestly does he look overweight?

Sorry it's blurry!

There are limitations to the BMI scale, so keep that in mind.

Although BMI can be used for most men and women, it does have some limits:

• It may overestimate body fat in athletes and others who have a muscular build.
• It may underestimate body fat in older persons and others who have lost muscle.

 But after reading that study report and seeing your BMI and thinking how we're so overweight, next read this story about why we fail at stopping obesity.  Often times we fat people are chastised for eating and not understanding that we can lose by simply "Less In, More Out" or some similar phrase.  We are told time and time again that it's all about willpower and just eat less.  We're made fun of because we can't seem to 'get it' like others do and after all it's simple, right? 

WRONG.  There are other factors at play that people need to understand.  It's not always about willpower or calories in/calories out.  And I think until people stop the simplistic idea of the calories in/calories out thinking, obesity will continue to grow.  Until natural good for you food is less expensive than a drive through, people will continue to get fatter.  Until kids learn how to cook real food and enjoy more than chicken nuggets we will have fatter adults.

209.8: 1000 calories or Bust

I don't think that I'm competitive.  I played sports in school, but on fun leagues in the summer, not through the school.  I stopped playing in college because I wasn't competitive enough to get onto a team.  Oh I thought I wanted to play fastpitch softball in high school.  I went to the gym for tryouts and was intimidated.  I ended up staying a few weeks to become a 'trainer' for the team, but that too ended a few weeks later.  Part of it was social anxiety, part of it was a lack of competitiveness and part was a lack of confidence.

When I started working out with Pete at the gym I thought he was nuts.  He would run for 6 miles after working all day.  It would take him 60-120 minutes some days, but he did it.  No way in hell was I going to work out that long.  Thankyouverymuch.  I got on the treadmill or elliptical, did my 40 minutes and however much distance that got me and I stopped.  Then Pete went through the band surgery and he was armed with a Polar Heart Rate Monitor.  This time he didn't leave the gym until he had 1000=1500 calories burned some days.  He was N.U.T.S!!!!

Why am I telling you this?  Well as you can tell by the numbers in the titles, I'm not losing weight.  I'm frustrated as hell.  Before surgery I was running and working out with Body Pump like I am now and I was losing 1-2 pounds a week.  I was watching what I ate and drinking lots of water and doing all the same things.  However, I can't seem to lose weight no matter how I try.

I went to the gym Saturday and ran 4.35 miles in 60 minutes.  It felt awesome.  I did a mile jogging, second mile was intervals, third mile jogging, fourth mile intervals.  But I only burned about 600 calories.  I had a nagging feeling, but didn't talk about it.  Sunday Pete wanted to spend about 50 minutes at the gym because he has a healing blister and can't do much cardio.  I ended up spending 70 minutes on the treadmill and doing 4.6 miles; burning 800 calories.

I felt like a failure you guys.  Seriously.  I told Pete that I'm starting to feel like a failure if I'm not burning 1000 calories at the gym at least 5 times a week.  But that's exactly the life that I kept telling people that I couldn't sustain before surgery.  I can't seem to reconcile this in my head.  I know that I'm not failing because clothes are fitting better.  Yet the scale is such this albatross around my neck and I can't seem to shake it.  So much so that I called my doctor and asked to move up my next fill to next week. 

In the mean time I am going to start doing a couple of things.  I'm going to roughly log my calories.  Roughly meaning, I'm going to sit at the end of the night and calculate what I ate and about how many calories, not attempt to log every bite because I know that does not work for me and I can't have more failure.  I'm also going to make a concerted effort to get my hear rate in zone 4 (calorie burn) while working out.

212.2; Chewing 40 times

In this post I challenged you to spend some time chewing your food.  I mean really chewing your food.  If you search, you can find many articles about this, like MSNBC Articles

They consumed about 12 percent fewer calories when they chewed each bite 40 times than when they chewed 15 times, and they had lower levels of ghrelin, the so-called hunger hormone produced in the stomach.

Or this list in FitWatch.

#1 – Chew your food 20 times before swallowing. Chewing does several things it breaks down the food into smaller pieces which means the digestion system can get more nutrients out of it. Chewing also takes time. The longer you take to eat, the less likely you are to overeat.#2 – Put your fork down between bites. Slowing down the rate at which you eat is good. Putting the fork down makes you conscious of how much you’re eating as opposed to using the fork like a steam shovel.

Although I don't agree with the drinking in between bites, I do agree with the 2 items listed above.  Meals shouldn't be a race.  You're either eating to fuel your body or or enjoy the food or both.  Take the time to really feel and taste the food you're putting in your body.  Be mindful of the food that you eat.  Feeling full takes about 20 minutes to register with your brain.  Chewing your food slowly and putting your fork down makes feeling full register when it should instead of registering only after you're stuffed to the gills.

So did you chew slowly and purposely?  Did you feel fuller while doing do?  If you skipped my challenge, I'm going to issue it again.  You don't have to do it at dinner with your family.  The next time you're eating a meal alone, try it.

212.2; Frustrated

My SparkPeople app on my iPhone.

I'm frustrated.  The blue line up there isn't going down. 

I know.  I know.  It's not all about the weight, it's about your body.  Ignore the weight and focus on the inches lost.  Who cares about the weight, how do you feel?

Honestly, right now, I care about the weight.  I DO care about that number on the scale.  In March I set a goal to be 200 pounds by 5/1/12.  It didn't happen.  At the time I thought that the losing I was doing was going to continue.  I was losing about  pound a day for the first 3 weeks after surgery (that includes the pounds of fluid I gained during my hospital stay).  The losing suddenly stopped.  I have been wavering between 209 and 212 since then.

It's not for a lack of trying.  I get my happy self tired behind out of bed at 4:40 am 4 days a week before work and head to the gym.  I jog, run/walk intervals, Body Pump, row, ARC trainer for an hour each time and burn between 600-1000 calories.  My fat percentage burn is usually between 15%-25% each time.  I should be working my ass off right?  And if you count inches I am.  If you count pounds, I'm doing nothing.

The logical explanation is that my eating is still off track.  Which, confirms in my head, without any doubt, that I needed this gastric banding.  I need this to help my eating.  And this is not to say that I eat horribly.  Not at all.

My breakfasts consist of 1/2 cup egg substitute with 1 ounce of cheese and 2-3 tablespoons of salsa or 1 packet of unsweetened multi grain oatmeal with 1/3 cup fruit added or 1 cup Fage 0% Greek yogurt with 1/3 banana or 1/3 cup fruit.  My lunch this week has been cooked quinoa with tomatoes, cilantro, salsa, onion, peppers and black beans.  About 1 1/2 cups.  My afternoon snack has been cheese and 1/2 slice toast or 1 small bag of pop chips.  Dinners have been baked sole, lime cilantro chicken, shrimp low fat ceaser salad, mahi mahi and unbreaded buffalo marinaded chicken.  I have been eating closer to 2 cups at dinner time.  My unhealthy addition to all this is that there were ice cream sandwiches in the freezer for Pete.  I had one each night this week.

And I know what you're all saying there...you're building muscle from the Body Pump and other strength workouts like rowing.  I know.  I know.  I'm still frustrated.  Almost to the point of crying.  I'm mad at myself for being fixated on a number.  I'm made that I've learned through the years that it's all about the scale and nothing else.  I need to unlearn that and I'm trying.  I'm mad that I can't make the progress on the scale that I should be.  I'm...I'm...I'm angry with myself.  Angry.  But that's not being fair to myself is it?  I need to work this out, don't I?  Figure out how to focus on all the numbers, not just the scale.  I need to be less angry at myself about it all.  Less anger, more positive.

211.3; Orange Theory Review

Have you heard about Orange Theory Fitness?  If not, check out the link.  About 6 months ago Pete and I went to a wellness expo and stopped at their booth.  The staff was engaging and excited to share the basis of the workout. Pete and I gave our information and we got calls several times in the months afterwards about getting into one of the locations and trying it out.  But we never seemed to do it.

Monday Pete was having and off day and my computer at work was still acting up so I left at 3pm and we headed over to Orange Theory for our free class.

They collect information about you to find out where you are health and fitness-wise.  Everyone gets polar chest straps to use and you wait for your class to start.  The basis for the whole workout is that they want you in the "orange zone" while working out for as long as you can be.  What this means is that your heart rate is such that you are working about 85% of what you can exert.

The workouts consist of working for about 30 minutes of intervals on the treadmill then switching from a rower to weights for 30 minutes.  The instructor tells you what to do for each thing and if you're not working hard enough they tell you to push it more.  Your heart rate monitor is attached to a screen on the wall so that you can see what color you're working out at and seek out the orange color.

My impressions:

I burned 650 calories in an hour and I think I spent 15 minutes in the orange zone.  It's a good interval workout and your motivator is the trainer who's telling you to keep moving and push harder. 

It was really hard to hear the instructor/trainer over the noise of the machines, people and music.  But she warned us to listen for key words, not so much her whole sentence.  Still, Pete was confused several times and the person on the next treadmill had to help him. 

I think this would be a great place for someone who likes working out, but doesn't want to go or isn't near a big gym.  It's got the small business feel and people seemed to know each other in the class.  I also think it would be great for someone who wasn't good at pushing themselves and needed the extra help.  They have challenges that include longer workouts and weight loss.  The trainers will help with eating and protein and all that you need to know when working out. 

Pete and I chose not to sign up.  First, this place is about 20 minutes from home, without traffic and is in an area where traffic can be bad at all times of the day.  I like to work out in the morning and wouldn't be able to get there and back before work.  It would be a struggle to get there after work with traffic.  Second, it would be $100/month plus a $55 joiners fee for Pete and I to go once a week.  We pay less than $100/month for the Y and have access to free classes, the machines, the pool and childcare if we needed it.  I will say that if the studio was closer to our home, Pete and I would have likely tried it for a month to give our workouts some variety.

But I would recommend anyone to check it out at least once!  You never know what will work for you. And exercising is never a bad thing.  It did reinforce to me that if I want to lose weight I need to mix up my workouts and be consistent in them. 

They have a printable pass for a free session HERE  So check them out and try it!

(disclaimer, Orange Theory has no idea who I am.  They don't know that I wrote this.  I wanted to share my experience with you so you could see that there are several ways to get a workout in, other than your standard gym!))

209.8; My Closet

I'm going to do it.  Share my closet I mean.  Here goes:

Pants

Shirts

I'm going through a period where I feel like I wear the same things over and over.  And it's true.  I have 1 pair of black dress pants, a pair of light tan lightweight pants that could be thought of as dressier in a casual sort of way.  I also have 2 pair of pants, one dark tan and one black, both in the same style; side pockets and heavier weight.  That's all I can wear to work.  Well, other than jeans on Friday.

As for shirts, I have more than 4.  But trying to mix and match them with the same pants over and over is wearing out.  And if I feel like I'm wearing the same thing, are my coworkers thinking the same thing?

All my adult years I head women say that they bought key pieces of clothing to last years and more trendy, less expensive pieces each season.  I could never understand this.  First, plus sized clothing had very little "key pieces" to chose from and mostly they were very expensive.  Secondly, who knew how much they'd weigh from one year to the next?  How could they buy a key piece and know that the next year it would fit?  What I realize now is that there is a segment of the population who keeps themselves healthy and of a similar weight their whole life. 

I get it now.  I understand.  And sometime in the next year I hope to start my own collection of key pieces; a wool jacket, a cashmere sweater, a little black dress, a nice suit.