Wednesday, June 24, 2009


I spent the morning in a little church, in a little town about 90 minutes from here. Not where I wanted to spend my morning, but I was happy to do it. In the end, I was glad that I did it.

One of the Dry Riders died Sunday. He fought the fight that so many seem to fight - cancer. While his fight was good, it is over. His wish was to have as many bikes at his funeral as possible. So I worked late Tuesday night and I'm working later tonight and I'll work late Thursday.

I sat in the pew of that beautiful little Catholic Church and watched as friends and family surrounded him. I listed the priest speak of him and his wife and their journey. I couldn't help but silently think that part of my journey was to attend this funeral. Part of my journey was to be called back into the matters of faith. So I prayed to God and hope he listened. I prayed for the family who has one less memeber, the friends who will miss him and for myself. I felt comforted in the little beautiful church.

Afterwards several of us talked about what we wanted for funerals. One wanted a huge upbeat party, no quiet funeral. I know what Pete wants because we've talked about it in all our long talks by the lake at our favorite place. Then someone asked me what I wanted and I realized that I didn't know. It's not that I don't know what I want, it's that I'm stuck between what I think I want and what the Church says is proper. The more that I think about it I realize that funerals are for the living, not the dead. Therefore I want what will make those left behind comforted.

Monday, June 22, 2009


Ever since I was young I've loved kids. I grew up thinking that I'd be part of a family full of children. Then I realized that life isn't always what you plan. Some days I'm ok with that. Other days it's not that easy. So, I 'borrow'. I borrow children!

Friday it was Alison. She's 7 years old now and I have a hard time thinking that she is really that old. This is the little baby that I held in my arms the day she was born and promised to love her and play with her always. We went to the MOA for the day. We rode rides, ate at the Rainforest Cafe and then went to Build-A-Bear. While we were riding the rides she kept telling me not to take any more pictures because the ride had started. At lunch she was disappointed because other kids were having the birthday song sung to them. When they came out to sing to her she positively shined. Her smile was so big!

Then there is Grant...

Grant LOVES trains. He east, sleeps and thinks about trains all the time. Last week he was in the basement playing with a set of trains down there and found a Thomas The Train box. He was so excited that he told my sister he found a Thomas box. He's since carried that box around the house and talks to Thomas on the box. His next favorite thing is having people take pictures of his trains. Then he wants to see them and stare at them on the preview on the camera. I have pcitures of Thomas on the table, on the plate "eating" my food, "drinking" from my glass, in the air, on the ground... You name it, I have it.

Then he does things like this. All the other kids were running around and playing in the pool (he doesn't like water). He got his littel chair down, pulled it out in the driveway in the shade and just watched. He was content to just be outside with everyone.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Spreading my Wings

Each morning while I dry my hair, my mind wanders. This morning it was thinking about what my Mom will say when she sees me riding the motorcycle without a helmet. While working through the senerio in my head I came to realize that I might just need to have to say something to her. Then I think back to the time right after Pete and I got engaged. How he almost left me because he didn't want to cause trouble between my family and I. How I almost lost the love of my life because my Mom wasn't happy with my decision.

It makes me sad all over again. Extreamly sad.

Saturday, June 06, 2009

Questions of Faith

Pete and I went to see Angels and Demons last night. I cried.

I was so 'in' the movie that I never noticed time passing in reality. It's not often that happens for me. But for this one it did. I learned about my faith. I learned some interesting things that I should have learned long ago. And maybe I did, but just forgot. I learned more about why people dislike Catholics. I'll never ever understand the hate, but the dislike of the basis of the religion I can somewhat understand.

One of the characters is speaking to the College of Cardinals about joining faith & science. He says something to the effort of the Catholic Church is not asking time to stand still, it's asking science to stop, take a breath and consider the ramifications of what they are doing. That speech resonated in me. It bounced around my head and I could at once understand it.

At the end I cried. Not because of the outcome of the movie. The end so reminds me of my Grandma Laura. I tried to explain to Pete about how envious I was of that absolute faith in the Church and in God. The faith that He will provide or the Church will provide. The faith that He or the Church will make everything right as it should be. The faith that everything is within Him and the Church. Pete pointed out that you don't need to go to church every day to be faithful. And I believe that. But I think at my core I wish for a simpler existence. One where worries and troubles and prayers are given to God and never thought about again. I don't think it's within me to do that, but I wish for it.

Then it made me wonder if I was on my our journey of faith. If my bracelet was telling me to embrace the questions that I have about faith and learn more about the Church? I find so much comfort in the tradition of the Church. However, I can't reconcile the teachings of the Church from thousands of years ago with the present day's findings and accomplishments. Therein lies the heart of the issue with me and faith.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

What's cuter than cute?

Little girls playing softball of course. Alison is almost 7 and in her second year of ball. Pete and I went to watch a game and man are those girls cute. I have to say that all but one hit with pitches, not the T.

Isn't she cute? She got a really good hit her first time up and ran those bases wonderfully.

She played the second base the first inning and made all kinds of friends with the players that landed on second base. It was great to see her interacting with other kids - ones that she didn't even know. She's usually so shy around new people when she is with the family. It's great to see her aquiring that skill on her own.

And what little kids sports game would be complete without playing around? This inning she was more interested in the bench than what the team was doing.

OH! And guess what? On the way to her game I reached 1500 miles on my bike! 4 weeks and 1500 miles rode. I think I might like the motorcycle.

Monday, June 01, 2009

Full Circle

A year ago Pete bought his bike and we looked for a group to join. Partly because Pete wanted to have people to ride with. He's always one for riding, no matter the time of day and wanted to make sure that there were others like him. Partly for friendship. We each had friends coming into this relationship, but not the kind of friends that we did things with. So we found the Dry Riders and joined.

The first outing we went to was the Gun Run (heretofore called the Range Ride). And it was a lot to take in. All new people and learning who they were and how they fit in. Shooting different weapons and that cold morning ride out to the Hutchinson Airport. If you look back I believe I have pictures from it.

Saturday we headed out again for the Range Ride. This time Pete was riding his bike and I was riding mine.

We had all kinds of fun. We rode out from the airport again and all the bikes lined up there and under the tree at the range are pretty cool. Someone has pictures of all of us by the bikes with various weapons. I'm sure we look like hellions.
The guys were shooting trap by the lake. Although Pete thought they looked like a firing squad. To be honest, I sort of agree.
And in true man fashion, it took a gaggle of them to search for a screw. I know that you think there is a joke somewhere in there, but it's true. They were searching for a tiny tiny screw for a sight on one of the shotguns. Eventually they found it, but could never get it out of the grass.
So, we've come full circle.