Tuesday, November 20, 2012

194.2; I Eat Way To Fast

In the last month I've realized that my issues with my band and eating are due to eating too fast.  We live in the age of fast and instant gratification.  And while I've been following what I need to do since getting my band placed, this is the one thing that I have issues with lately. 

We all know that it takes 20 minutes for the brain to register that you're full.  Remember my post about how my brain is disconnected from my body?  Well it's still disconnected in this way also. 

There are times, like last Sunday, where I spend 2+ hours on a meal.  Several steps to many dishes.  This time it was roasted pork loin with cranberry sauce and bacon in and one it, cranberry sauce, roasted root veggies, beans and cornbread.  Labor intensive, but I loved every minute of it.  But you know what?  It took Pete and I 15 minutes to eat and we were done.  It's such a let down when that happens.  It feels like a lot of work for...nothing or for little reward/

I've been thinking a lot lately about how I can get myself to slow down.  Eating should not be a race.  I need to put my fork down and feel the food in my mouth and taste the food.  I need to eat so that I'm not hungry or have my brain think that I'm hungry and want to hurry and eat.  I need to really think about the food that I'm eating.

I found this Study on Fast Eating.  Listen to what it says about it:

Many people develop these fast-eating habits as children, desperate to get away from the dinner table — it’s amazing how these habits can be carried through to adulthood.’

Their study showed that eating a 690-calorie meal in five rather than 30 minutes induced up to 50 per cent more acid reflux episodes as the digestive tract is overloaded with larger lumps of food, prompting an overload of stomach acid.

Over a number of months sufferers can develop gastroesophagul reflux disease, linked with more serious problems including a narrowing of the oesophagus, bleeding, or the pre-cancerous condition Barrett’s oesophagus.

Eating too fast also contributes to wind and general discomfort, says Dr David Forecast, consultant gastroenterologist at the London Clinic and St Mark’s Hospital in London.

‘You’ll be gulping down large quantities of air, which can cause some discomfort in your digestive tract,’ he adds.
It makes sense.  I remember trying to eat fast as a kid so I could leave, or so we could go to whatever activity we had scheduled or whatever.  What I should and need to do is be like the Europeans and linger over my food.  Enjoy my food for a long period of time.  Not gobble it up. (sorry I had to put it in.  it is close to Turkey Day...)

Monday, November 19, 2012

194; Running in Heels

As a kid I dreamed of wearing those high heels that I saw my Grandma and Mom in sometimes.  I'd prance around on my tip toes and walk around as though I had heels on.

As a teen, heels really weren't in fashion.  And I was already the tallest girl ever at 5'6".  Who wanted to wear heels when you were already towering over the boys? 

In early adulthood my feet hurt.  I had this awesome sage green suit and tan strappy heels that perfectly matched it.  I'd wear it to interviews and pay for it later.  My feet would ache.  The balls of my feet would scream with each step.

For most of my 20s and 30's I wore flat shoes or small wedge style 1 inch heels.  Not that I had all these great places to wear heels, but still I'd have loved to have the option. 

About 2-3 months ago I started dressing up for work more often.  What I've found is that I fit better in dress clothes currently than casual clothes.  Weird, but true.  So I wear dress pants, camis and cardigans; dress pants and soft turtleneck sweats; dress pants and flowy chiffon tops.  But with those things I wear heels.  2 inch heels.  Granted, they're stacked heels, not spike heels, but still heels.  I feel girly and professional and good.

In the last couple of weeks I've noticed that by the end of the day I can't tell if I was wearing heels or not.  And, more often than not, I reach for those heels and try to make them work with the causal pants that I have. 

It's a little thing, but one that makes me smile.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

193.4; Disconnected Brain

One of my co-workers had the Roux-N-Y surgery 4 weeks ago.  This is what people traditionally know as gastric bypass surgery.  They take your stomach out, create a pouch the size of your thumb and attach it to your small intestines.  He chose this for various reasons that I won't get into, because it's his story and he's not here to tell it. 

He returned to work yesterday about 36 pounds lost in 4 weeks.  He looks great and aside from trying to relearn how to eat, he feels great.  His learning to eat is vastly different from mine.  Yet we still share some common issues.  For instance there are times that I have to make myself drink water later in the day.  I feel so full from eating for so long, that I don't have the urge to drink.  He has the same issue.

(hold on while I take a huge gulp of my water)

We were talking yesterday about how the brain is so disconnected from the body.  He had a period of time where he was so tired of the soup that made up his whole diet that he didn't 'eat' for 2 days.  Our other co-worker was shocked that he didn't eat and asked him if he was hungry?

Now let me explain that this is an honest question.  It seems logical, right?  But in reality hunger is mostly gone for me and all gone for him.  His body does not signal him to eat, he has to remind himself to eat at times.  I can do the same.  There are weekends when I'll be busy with errands and groceries and other things and realize at dinner time that I haven't eaten anything. 

However, both his brain and my brain continually tell us to indulge.  It tells you to eat.  So snack.  To get that pizza.  To gorge on the chocolate.  But your body does not want it.  It's painfully obvious to me now, how disconnected by body is from my brain.  It wasn't just that my body wasn't signalling correctly, it's that my brain had no intention of reading my body's signals.

My brain & body have been so disconnected for so long, that there was no hope of them coming together without outside help.  This is powerful stuff.  This realization.  Even now I struggle with that brain disconnect telling me to eat.  I don't need it and don't want it but my brain, it's a superpower of the body and it makes it plainly clear that it has a goal. 

So while the band is a tool, it's my brain that I need to retrain. I need to learn to ignore my brain for now and listen to my body.  It's my body that I need to be accountable to, not the brain. 

Is your body connected to your brain well when it comes to food?

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

194.0; Self Magazine

Over the weekend I had a chance to catch up on the magazines that I read.  I should say that I had a chance to pick up my Nook and read.  Then I saw all the magazines that I decided to subscribe to, but never read.  I mean I had great intentions, but I skip months here and there.  It's likely whey I stopped the paper subscriptions long ago...

Anyway, I was reading about running and working out and eating right and dieting.

One of the articles was citing ways that women lose weight and how they're successful.  A study from Penn State figured out that dieters who visit websites/blogs with tips from real people who lost weight tend to lose more weight themselves.  Very interesting.  It reminds me of how your Mom can tell you something all day long, but you don't believe it yourself until it actually happens to you. 

An expect can tell me how and has told me how to lose weight.  Yet, I wanted to hear it from someone who actually did it.  Someone who has been where I was.  Someone who understands the struggle.  I think that's why I used the internet to find support and help and motivation for weight loss.

Another study found that eating more protein earlier in the day may reduce cravings later on.  I'm not sure how that works.  I can't say that I've noticed a difference.  But I could try only having protein based breakfasts and see what happens.  But interesting was that those who didn't eat breakfast were 65% more likely to eat fat based snacks at night.  So breakfast is important in getting your day started right and does have lasting impact throughout the day!

Friday, November 09, 2012

197.4; Friday Five

1.  It's Friday.  Whew.

2.  It's a long weekend for me thanks to the Veterans who served. 

3.  I have no plans for this weekend, other than my office.  And even that is iffy.  I kind of like the no plans.

4.  In an effort for full disclosure, Pete and I ate 2 chococlate cakes since Tuesday.  Not big cakes, but cakes.  I bought one when I was looking for dinner ideas.  Pete had the same idea and bought one himself on the way home.  Therefore we each ate an 8 inch chococlate cake in 3 days. I may have had a piece of cake for lunch one day.

5.  I'm breathing.  I'm trying to live in grace.  I'm trying to just BE right now.

Thursday, November 08, 2012

198; Another Fill

I am at 9.75 out of 11 cc's in my band.  It's pretty full.

I'm still in a funk.  I say that like I think that acknowledging it means that it will go away soon.  Very soon.  Like tomorrow.  But I don't think that is going to happen.  Fake it 'til you make it.  At least that is what I've been telling myself.  And yet, I haven't gone to the gym in a week.  I'm hiding at home, in my bed, with my husband and my dog.

Don't worry, it's happened before and I'll come out of it.  But until I do, I just need to let it ride out.  It will come to a head.  I will likely cry my eyes out in the shower or scream while I dry my hair.  Or both. 

I moved my office today.  Since June I've been in a different office at work because I had computer issues.  I've been in limbo.  And I let myself live there thinking that by this time I'd be teleworking and limbo in the office wouldn't matter.  Only I'm not going to telework right now.  So I put in for my office phone change and I started walking my things down the hall.  Usually when I'm in a funk, some good cleaning & organizing pulls me out.  It's like it signals a fresh start. 

My office set up...so far.
I work in a 100+ year old building.  My old office and this new office have dormer windows that are really cool from the inside.  My office is huge.  Really big.  But I like feeling cozy so I make a desk space and try to scatter the rest of my things around the office. 

I'm going to finish moving things this weekend with Pete's help.  Then I'm going to fill up that fish tank to give me some happy at work. 

Then I'm going to breathe.  Just breathe.  And try to live in grace and ride this out.

Tuesday, November 06, 2012

198.0; Still Here

I'm struggling.  Maybe it's time time changes.  Maybe it's the lack of sun and warmth.  Maybe I've been taking on too much for too long.  Maybe it's the stress at work.  Maybe it's hormonal.  Maybe it's the lack of fresh veggies & fruits from summer.  Maybe it's a combination of all of it.

Sunday night I had insomnia.  I believe it was about 2 am when I finally felt tired enough to fall asleep.  Monday morning I don't remember my alarm going off.  When I did get out of bed, my head hurt so much that I knew I couldn't go to work.  So I took the migraine meds and tried to relax.  I never could fall back asleep.  In the afternoon I headed to the dentist for the crown on my crappy tooth.  That only added to my headache by having to hold my mouth open.

Today I found out that I didn't get the position that I applied for a few weeks back.  I know, not that big a deal in the scheme of things.  But does it make it worse when I tell you that out of the 6 of us in my unit, I was the only one that actually applied for the job and I still didn't get it. 

Yes, my headache is back.  My back is sore from laying around.  I have no will to work right now.

What I want is my husband and puppy to cuddle with.  My warm heated blanket.  My Tivo filled with reality shows.  A good mexican chipolte burrito bowl with no meat.  And finally a fudgey choccolate cupcake with fudgey frosting.  Oh, and some root beer.  Barqs rootbeer.

Friday, November 02, 2012

197.2: Friday Fives

1.  I've had it up to -HERE- with work lately.  Without saying too much, there is a decision that has been dragging on for 2 months.  And while anxiety over newness is good and natural, 2 months of anxiety is horrible. 

2.  I plan on cleaning my house this weekend.  I need some aggression out and some clean-ness to take over my life right now (see #1).

3.  I rented RedBox for the first time in oh about a year.  Pete and I used to lay in bed and watch Blue-Rays on our big TV with great sound a lot.  But we have not done this in a long time.  Popcorn and everything.

4.  My sister turns 40 on Sunday. 
Happy Birthday Kim!  (I feel even older now that she is in her 40's also!)

5.  I'm looking for a source for 5x7 or about that size, spiral bound notebooks with colored pages.  Any sources for me?  I've looked everywhere locally, Target/Walmart stores, BN/Book stores, Office Depot/Max stores....  I use spiral bound notebooks for work to keep me organized and I'd love a colored one to brighten my day.

p.s.  Still trying to remind myself to live in Grace.