Thursday, November 08, 2012

198; Another Fill

I am at 9.75 out of 11 cc's in my band.  It's pretty full.

I'm still in a funk.  I say that like I think that acknowledging it means that it will go away soon.  Very soon.  Like tomorrow.  But I don't think that is going to happen.  Fake it 'til you make it.  At least that is what I've been telling myself.  And yet, I haven't gone to the gym in a week.  I'm hiding at home, in my bed, with my husband and my dog.

Don't worry, it's happened before and I'll come out of it.  But until I do, I just need to let it ride out.  It will come to a head.  I will likely cry my eyes out in the shower or scream while I dry my hair.  Or both. 

I moved my office today.  Since June I've been in a different office at work because I had computer issues.  I've been in limbo.  And I let myself live there thinking that by this time I'd be teleworking and limbo in the office wouldn't matter.  Only I'm not going to telework right now.  So I put in for my office phone change and I started walking my things down the hall.  Usually when I'm in a funk, some good cleaning & organizing pulls me out.  It's like it signals a fresh start. 

My office set far.
I work in a 100+ year old building.  My old office and this new office have dormer windows that are really cool from the inside.  My office is huge.  Really big.  But I like feeling cozy so I make a desk space and try to scatter the rest of my things around the office. 

I'm going to finish moving things this weekend with Pete's help.  Then I'm going to fill up that fish tank to give me some happy at work. 

Then I'm going to breathe.  Just breathe.  And try to live in grace and ride this out.

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