Pete and I went to see Angels and Demons last night. I cried.
I was so 'in' the movie that I never noticed time passing in reality. It's not often that happens for me. But for this one it did. I learned about my faith. I learned some interesting things that I should have learned long ago. And maybe I did, but just forgot. I learned more about why people dislike Catholics. I'll never ever understand the hate, but the dislike of the basis of the religion I can somewhat understand.
One of the characters is speaking to the College of Cardinals about joining faith & science. He says something to the effort of the Catholic Church is not asking time to stand still, it's asking science to stop, take a breath and consider the ramifications of what they are doing. That speech resonated in me. It bounced around my head and I could at once understand it.
At the end I cried. Not because of the outcome of the movie. The end so reminds me of my Grandma Laura. I tried to explain to Pete about how envious I was of that absolute faith in the Church and in God. The faith that He will provide or the Church will provide. The faith that He or the Church will make everything right as it should be. The faith that everything is within Him and the Church. Pete pointed out that you don't need to go to church every day to be faithful. And I believe that. But I think at my core I wish for a simpler existence. One where worries and troubles and prayers are given to God and never thought about again. I don't think it's within me to do that, but I wish for it.
Then it made me wonder if I was on my our journey of faith. If my bracelet was telling me to embrace the questions that I have about faith and learn more about the Church? I find so much comfort in the tradition of the Church. However, I can't reconcile the teachings of the Church from thousands of years ago with the present day's findings and accomplishments. Therein lies the heart of the issue with me and faith.