191; Day 28; Mile a Day

Let's just say that I believe that I am a Mile A Day Failure.  But that it's ok.

In the last year or so I've seen people try to keep a running streak over a month.  Trying to get so many miles in every day.  I kept thinking that it sounded cool and that I could do that.

Well.  Not so much.

Running everyday, no matter if it's a mile or more, is hard on your body. 

First of all there is the fact that I have to get my ass out of bed at 4:30am to get to the gym EVERY WORK DAY so that I can get it done and get home to get ready for work.  Now I like working out in the morning, but holy crap...every day?  No.  Then the weekends started turning into me being at the gym at 6am when it opened.  That meant 5:30 on Saturday AND Sunday.  Talk about no rest for the weary.  I was strong until 2/24/13 when my niece and nephew stayed the night.  I just could not get my ass out of bed at 5:30 so I could get to the gym and home before they woke up.

Secondly, it's hard on your body.  Your body naturally needs rest days.  Every training regimen has rest days.  Every single one.  Your body needs time to recover and running or walking hard every day doesn't allow the body to recover.  I never felt very strong to run more than a mile and running a 5K was a struggle.  I hated that.

So I ended up running 22/28 days in February for a total of   miles.

All that said...I'd encourage anyone to try it.  See how far you can take your body.  Just be honest about what you can do and plan your month accordingly.

191.4; Weigh In Wedensday

191.4.  Damn.  I think I've spent more time at 190-191 that any other weight while trying to lose in the last 3 years.  It's frustrating as hell.  But I think I know what's going on.

I talked yesterday about never being enough and how it's having a negative effect on my continued weight loss.  I've been thinking more about it.  Lots more.  As I said, it consumes me at times.  I think that this is when the mental work starts.  Oh I'm with you, I always thought it was hokey when weight loss shows would talk about the emotional part, the mental part, the things that were holding them back.  But as of yesterday, I'm a believer.

My problem is that I don't know how to work through the mental things.  I have a crazy high deductible for medical insurance and with Pete being temporary and not getting benefits, we can't really afford high doctor bills.  So I think that I'm on the look out for any recommendations for books that I can start reading.  Books about how to work through mental blocks.  I'm also on the look out for blogs or websites that may help me figure out how to get past this.  Ultimately if they're not working, I'll need to access the help of a professional. 

I feel a bit better already.  That I have a plan of attack.  That I realize that it's mental issues.  That I can hopefully figure this out and move forward.

190.6; Will I Ever Be Enough?

I watched the Biggest Loser last night.  It was mostly about facing your fears.

It really got me thinking.  I'm struggling with the last 15 pounds I need to lose. I'm starting to realize that I'm likely self sabotaging right now.  I KNOW what to do to lose weight. I know how to eat right.  Yet I seem to do these things half heartedly and with 70% lately.  And while I've had periods like this throughout my loss, this seems somehow different. 

I'm scared.  

I can't hide behind my weight anymore as any excuse for ANYTHING.  I'm front and center and people see me.  I still don't know what to do when I see men checking me out or being extra nice to me in public. It makes me uncomfortable and makes me sad that I didn't get the same attention 90 pounds ago.  I can't claim that I can't do something because I'm to tired or fat.  People aren't going to excuse me when I do something wrong because of my weight.

I'm scared.

What happens if what I am now isn't enough?  What happens if I try something new now and fail?  How do I be front and center of anything so people see the real me that was hiding there all along?  How do I deal with attention from people who ignored me before because I was fat?

I'm scared.

What if I lose the remaining 15 pounds and I'm not that magically happy thin person?  What if I lose 15 pounds and everything isn't rainbows and butterflies?  What if I lose that last 15 pounds and Pete looks at me and doesn't 'like' the new me?  Hell, what if I don't like the new me?

I'm scared.

And I don't know the answer to any of this right now.  It follows me around like the plague, keeping me from concentrating on my book and from falling asleep at night.  It occupies my mind during work and at stoplights.  It's nagging right behind the smile on my face.  I try to imagine what life is like and reality is that life is like it is right now.  But for someone who lost a lot of weight, it's somehow different, just a little.  I want the pieces to fall into place.  I want to let the past go and embrace where I am now and anticipate the future. 

But I'm scared.

190.4; Friday Fives

1.  Thank goodness for Fridays.  Honestly.  I don't know how I'd get through the week without them.  Well actually it's Saturday that I look forward to.  Friday is the just the lead in.  And even though Sunday is the weekend, it signals going back to work, so that doesn't count.  Yep.  Saturdays are it.

2.  My 10 year old niece sent me this text: 

Is she really just 10?  Because who references going on a cruise and needing to play with a dog prior to that?  Earlier she told me she was "confussed" which is really confused.  But Pete said this only confirmed that she was my relative, given all my misspelled words in my texts to him. 

3.  I'm a winner in my work's Passport to Health program for 2012.  I completed 11 of 13 items and was in a random drawing.  My prize?  2 tickets to a movie.  Hello Popcorn with butter and salt!  (listen, I know it's not the right thing, but it tastes so freaking good!  and I only get a kid's sized.)

4.  As you can see from up there, I'm borrowing my 10 yr old niece and 7 yr old nephew this weekend.  We're either going toThe Rollerdome to go rollerblading or to Mall of America Ice Castle.  By Sunday I should be well worn out and have little to no patience left.  Just in time to take the kiddos back.  HA!

5.  Sunday starts the Mpls St. Paul Restaurant Week.  YUM!  Pete and I split the $30 meal because neither of us can eat a whole one any more.  So how can you beat a $30 +great tip meal from restaurants that usually mean $100-$200?  We have reservations at Murrays, Copper River Fish & Chop House and The Capital Grille.  When we go to Murrays we're taking my 88 year old grandma with us.  Pete calls it a date.  And I love him for that. 

190.4; Phantom Fat

Yesterday I read this article:  Phantom Fat.

This is me:

Body-image experts say it’s not uncommon for people, especially women, who have lost a lot of weight to be disappointed to some extent to discover that they still aren’t “perfect.” The excess fat is gone when they reach their goal weight, but they may have sagging skin, cellulite or a body shape that they still deem undesirable. Like Hicks, some even continue to see themselves as though they are overweight.
 

I still expect that large person every day.  I look at some of the clothes in my closet and think that there is no way in hell that they will fit me, but they do.  I still expect to take up a seat and a half at the doctor office.  I look in the full length mirror that I pass by in the store and wonder who that woman is?  I still avoid racks of clothes, afraid that I won't fit, and walk through the aisles instead.  I look at the angular parts of my face and wonder how they got there and what do I do with them?

And yet I understand it from the other side too.  Pete got down below 180 last summer.  When he did, he thought he looked awesome and he felt good.  Yet, to the rest of us, he appeared gaunt and sick.  People were worried about him and asked me if he was ok.  Yes, and no.  He is struggling with his image.  And since that time he's back into the 190s and unhappy with himself.  We have talked extensively about how he looked unwell and how great he looks now.  But he doesn't see it.  He sees himself as fat again.  On the outside of his body image, I can see it.  On the inside, he still struggles.

I've had many family member approach me over the holidays and tell me how good I look.  It absolutely made my day when I heard this.  For years I stayed on the sidelines even in my own family so I wasn't cause for attention.  To hear the comments was so wonderful.  Their next question was usually was I still trying to lose more?  My reply was always yes.  Because I haven't reached the goal I started out with.  Yet, ultimately most of them told me not to lose much more because I looked good. 

Truth?  I don't see it.  Not yet.  And it sometimes worries me.  Will I ever see myself as that thin person? I'm continually asking Pete when we are in public if I am thinner than other women.  I'm not doing it to boost me up.  I'm doing it because the image in my head, the one that I've lived with for over 10 years, is still a size 24/3X.  Reality is that I'm currently a 12-14/Large.  I just don't see it.  I want to see it.  Believe me, after being so large for so many years I long to see the skinny me and appreciate every part.  But it's just not happening...yet.

I have started at myself in the mirror at the gym and wondered who I was.  Who the woman was looking back at me.  And it's me.  I'm there.  But it's not me.  I stare to try to learn the new shape of my face.  I stare at my arms to learn the new curves of my biceps.  I bend over to dry my hair and see the outsides of my hips without turning my head back and forth.  I put my thumb and middle finger around my wrist and I'm amazed that it not only fits, but overlaps.  I'm continually trying to learn the new me.

I'm hopeful.  Hopeful that with time and careful studying I will know the new me like I knew the old me.  I'm hopeful that the studying will make me appreciate the new me and remind me not to go back to the old me.  I'm hopeful that one day I can walk in public with Pete and not have to ask him to compare me to another woman.  I'm hopeful that I can at once go to my current size in the store without looking at the item 1-2 sizes bigger thinking that I need it.

190.6; Weigh In Wednesday

 

 

190.6.  I have to admit though, the first time I stepped on t he scale this morning it said more.  But I waited a minute or two and then stepped on it again.  190.6.  Will I ever get into the 180s and stay there?

 

After my scale I got dressed and hauled myself to the gym.  3.1 miles in 41 minutes.  I can mostly jog 2 miles and then I did sprints for the third mile.  I have to really think about whether my goal is to get a certain mileage or burn a certain number of calories.  It used to be that I wouldn't leave the gym until I had at least 600 calories burned.  It was all about the calories and getting the burn and seeing those numbers go up up up.

 

Today I thought about running races and if my goal is truly to do that this summer (and it is), then I need to start thinking more about the running process, not the calories.  I've been thinking lately that I need to branch out and try a spin class (God help me and my girly parts).  In order to fit it in with Body Pump and running it would have to be on Wednesdays.  And the only cycle time on Wednesday is at 5:30pm.  I'm so not an evening worker-outer.  I seem to have issues with my suv taking me home after work rather than to the gym.  But I need some different leg cardio other than the treadmill and elliptical.

 

I'm also honestly struggling with food right now and I know that is why I'm not losing.  I fell into bad habits over the Christmas season and seem to have an inability to get out of the habit of chocolate every day and sweets.  Prior to that I didn't eat them (for the most part) and didn't crave them.  The sugar addiction, it's a strong one.  I need to rely more on the fruits and veggies and lean protein that I know works for me.  It's also a struggle to avoid dairy/calcium while I'm on antibiotics for a month.  Dairy is such a part of my diet for protein and workout recovery.  Avoiding it seems like a punishment.  Maybe I should have had the doctor tell me that I needed to avoid sweets to make the medicine work too?????

 

Anyway, 190.  I'll certainly take it because I've earned it. But I'm not giving up on these last 15 pounds that I want need to lose. 

 



190.6; Disordered Eating

Yesterday was President's Day and as such, we county workers had the day off.  Don't worry though, I still got my butt up at 4:40am and headed to the gym.  1 hour of Body Pump where I stayed up in weights for everything and 1 hour on the treadmill.

I had to admit that my weekend was full of disordered eating.  I had awesome plans for good, but somehow they didn't materialize. 

Friday I FINALLY figured out how to cook salmon so that I like it.  I need to dry it out a bit more than normal so the taste isn't as strong.  Good eating on Friday after a great workout at Body Pump and some miles on the treadmill.

Saturday it went bad.  I did my 5K at the gym with plans to head home and rest.  However, I ended up going to the Harley dealer for customer appreciation with Pete.  Chili dog and fritos consumed.  We got home and took naps because honestly by that time I was worn out.  Pete made dinner but I have no memory of what it was.

Sunday I got up and went to the gym again.  But my sinus issues were flaring and I had no want to do anything.  I came home and Pete cooked breakfast of pancakes, eggs and bacon.  I had 1 cake, some of my fake non dairy eggs and 2 slices of bacon.  Then I napped.  Then I snacked on pretzels and salsa, chocolate covered almonds, chocolate covered pretzel thins, jelly beans.  Dinner was 1 serving of course ground grits with peppers and onions and some cheese.

Yesterday I did my time at the gym and came home to make myself some eggs and veggies.  Pete wasn't feeling well.  Lunch was smoked salmon and salsa with pita chips.  Dinner was fried brown rice loaded with veggies and more fake eggs.

I felt like the whole weekend was bad eating.  In reality it wasn't.  But I indulged in disordered eating.  I didn't keep to meal times, I ate things I don't normally eat, I didn't eat full meals.  It felt very disordered and bad.  I could blame the fact that neither Pete nor I felt good all weekend.  But that's no excuse to change what I'm doing.  If anything, it's the time to treat your body better.  It really did make me think hard about how I still indulge and when I do it.  I need to plan better and make sure that I'm better to myself during these times.

189.6; Friday Fives

1.  I planned a day to work from home.  I'm crossing my fingers everything that I will be an honest to goodness teleworker by June.  In the mean time I can do 8 hours every 2 weeks and I'm taking advantage of it.

2.  I'm taking my lunch with a 7 year old in a chair meant for Barbie.  In other words I'm going to school to have lunch with my nephew.  Last time I did this I had to pick the skin off the ends of the french fries because he doesn't eat "black" things.  Duh!  Who'd want to eat black things?

3.  I'm looking forward to grocery shopping.  Yes.  Really.  I love getting the fresh veg and filling my fridge with good for me, yummy things.

4.  Going on a date with Pete this weekend.  Music date.  Love the man more than words can explain.

5.  If you've got a prayer, my cousin's son could use it.  He's 11 and has Aspbergers and ADD.  This week he was also diagnosed with juvenile diabetes.  How much does that child have to suffer in his life?  He is sad and his parents are worried all over again.  Any prayers are appreciated.

Happy Pre-Weekend!

191.6; Food Challenges

Let's just pretend it's Wednesday, ok?

My weigh in today is 191.6.  It's a struggle, getting into the 180s and staying there.

I'm back on antibiotics.  And to make them work the best I need to avoid calcium.  As much as possible.  Have I ever mentioned how much I love cheese and yogurt?  They're both a go to snack and sometimes breakfast.  So I've been struggling with that for the last week.  I'm not gonna lie, it's hard.

I quickly realized yesterday that Lent puts a whole new spin on this for me.  Additionally I need to abstain from meat on Fridays until it's over.  Traditionally I would have relied upon fish, eggs and cheese to fill the gaps.  Baked fish, egg bakes for dinner/egg salad for lunch and cheese sandwiches.  But I can't do that this time.  Ash Wednesday is barely over and I'm struggling.

So I've been searching sites for dinner ideas for Pete and I.  He won't eat pasta. limits rice and things like quinoa or farrow or other grains are a no go for him either.  He has issues eating shrimp and most other seafood, other than fish.  Veggies give him issues lately so no salads or grilled peppers and onions.  Add in my no meat and no dairy and we're headed for disaster.

I love to cook, but this month is going to challenge me.  So far I've really resisted making 2 different meals for Pete and I.  Sure, I'll cook myself sweet potatoes when he has white potatoes or brown rice and him white rice.  But 2 whole different meals?  No thanks.  He doesn't eat leftovers unless I really do a good job to turning them into something new and he's not a soup fan.  But I need to figure out some meals that I can cook for both of us.

As for my weight?  Damn it's frustrating.  I'm struggling to get to the 180's and stay there.  I think I'm there and then the next day I'm back up.  I really have been thinking hard about making sure that I'm listening to my body, enjoying life and trying to be healthy.  It's definitely a balance that I need to keep working on . 

 

191; ReThinking Goals/Progress

So I'm a little more than 30 days out from my 1 year mark since surgery.

My goal was always and still is to get to 175 pounds.  Even though the BMI calculators say that I should be between 115-154 pounds.

At 190 my BMI is still 30 and I am considered obese. I have to be honest.  When I think about how far I have come and still see that by most people's standards I am obese, it is like a slap in the face. Because lets be honest, the whole BMI chart is not the end all be all of how to determine if you are healthy.  It's misleading.  But it's what the majority of the public thinks about when they think about how to determine size.  In reality it was meant to be a screening tool that leads to other discussions and tests about one's health.  But it's become the chart that everyone uses to determine if someone is healthy. 

However, even the CDC agrees that it's not totally reliable.  There are too many other factors to consider that can't be determined from a few numbers and a quick calculation.  And I am at a disadvantage.  I'm a woman who tends to hold more fat than a man and I'm "older" and older people tend to hold more fat than younger people. 

Other factors can help at quick glance.  If your waist size is smaller, you're likely more healthy because belly fat is hard on your body, same with neck size.  Additionally, how active are you?  The more active you are, even if larger, the better off you are.  And finally what does your frame look like?  I'm not some small boned little girl.  Never have been.  115 would make me simply anorexic and frail.  154?  I might be able to get there, but I'd still have excess skin and a lot of it that would have to factor in.

Still, seeing that freaking fracking, dumb word OBESE jump out at me, sucks.  For at 190 I am the most thin that I have been since college, 20+ years ago.

Being 175 would place me in the overweight category.  And again that SUCKS.  Who doesn't want to be normal?  Not thin or skinny, but just normal for cripes sake?  It's pisses me off.  Over the weekend I realized that I was ok with my body in a tank top tucked in to my jeans.  Let's repeat this - stretchy shirt tucked into my jeans.  This is important because it's likely how I'll be spending my summer on the motorcycle.  Critically, I know that I can lose mass around my thighs and I'm not sure how much is still fat and how much is excess skin, but they're bigger.  And I can stand to lose mass around my upper arms.  Same thing - some fat and some excess skin.  I have a slight pooch above my port that again I can't tell if it's excess fat or skin.  Those are my critical areas.  But for the most part I'm happy with me.  I just want to be that normal 42 (almost 43) year old woman who enjoys a healthy life.

So I'm still searching out that 175.  Getting there from where I'm at isn't going to be easy, I can tell that now.  It's going to be a struggle, shaking things up, working hard and figuring out how to get it done.  But I'm willing to do it.  Beyond 175?  I don't know.  Ask me at 175 how it looks on my frame.  Ask my what my critical areas are again.  Ask me what my goal is after that.  Ask me how much I'm willing to put into it versus how much I'm wanting to just enjoy where I am.  Ask me all this then.  By that time I may have a whole different perspective or I may still be thinking that 175 is pretty damn good. 

189.8; Mile A Day, Day 11

Saturday night we had freezing rain.  Sunday morning we had freezing rain, sleet pellets (that hurt when they hit your face...) and then snow. 

Neither rain, nor sleet or snow will stop my Mile A Day February.

Cheesy?  Yes.  I agree.  But I did my 3 miles and then went home.  And took a nap.  Seriously. 

This morning was more blowing light fluffy snow.  I slid my way to the gym  and put my mile in and spent 60 minutes in Body Pump.

Every time I do Body pump I'm so impressed with myself.  Yes, seriously.  My muscles seem to pop for a day or so and I feel stronger.  So when I come home I flex for Pete.  In turn he smiles the first time.  The second time he smiles and laughs.  The third time he just shakes his head and laughs.

Last night I flexed and told him that people needed gun control because of my muscles. 

More laughing.

If you follow me on Keek (Shevyblue there) you'll notice that I posted a video about the honesty of losing weight.  The reality is that I've lost 95 pounds and I was big for 10 years.  That 10 years wasn't good to my skin.  Exhibit 1:

I have shoulder and back muscles and biceps.  You'd never know it, but my triceps are there too.  You'd never know it, because I have hanging skin.  There is still some fat there, but there's a good inch excess hanging down 'stuff'. 

I've been working hard at Body Pump to work out my triceps so that they build up.  I'm working out so that my muscle build up can 'eat' away at the fat that I have left.  I'm trying.  But I'm no where form perfect.

I keep reading blogs and stories from people, ok women, who are afraid to lose the weight because of excess hanging skin.  And it blows me away!  I can't help but think...you'd rather be obese because that looks better than having hanging skin?  No.  Just no.  Lose the weight and worry about the skin later.  Get healthy and worry about the skin and any other issues later.  Don't stay fat because you're concerned about hanging skin - it doesn't make sense.

190.2; Speaking of Blogs...

See that button over to the left?  The Red Bikini?  I've been searching for it for a couple of days and finally found it yesterday.  It's a bunch of bloggers who are linking up to reach a goal by 5/31/13.

So I'm stating publicly the following:

I've lost 95 pounds to date.
I currently weigh 190.
My goal from the beginning was to be at 175 and see how my body looks & feels.

My goal is to be 175 by 5/31/13.

Think I can do it? 

16 weeks; 15 pounds.  If I'm losing how I'm supposed to be, I should be able to do it.

What's your goal?

190.6; Lying

When I was a teen I compared my body to those around me, friends, family members and others.  I didn't like what I saw in myself and was really very critical, as most teens are.  I was on the tall side, on the large boned side and often one of the bigger girls.  I'd guess I was likely lower weight than I am now, but similar body shape.

In early college I lost a bunch of weight my second year.  I could share clothes with my sister, who was still in high school.  However, I was still bigger than most of my friends.  I'd guess I was about 150-ish and 5'7", but in a large.  The farther along I got in college, the heavier I got.

That's when I really started lying to myself.  I've talked about this before, this body image issue.  I gained weight so slowly that I didn't notice it.  And because no one said anything to me about it, I convinced lied to myself that it wasn't so bad.  In fact I spent the rest of the my 20s and the early part of my 30s, about 10 years, lying to myself.

Oh yes, there were times that I magically lost weight and looked better.  I say magically because I was doing nothing to lose weight, it was life situations or medical issues.  And when I'd lose weight people would comment on how good I looked.  But it never clicked with me.  Because I'd gain the weight back and continue to lie to myself that I didn't look that bad.

Then when I wanted to lose weight, I'd change how I ate in front of people, but still chow down when I was alone at home.  I'd lie to myself that I was changing and lament about my body not following suit.  I'd track all my foods to get a good calorie count, but not add in the chocolate/candy/crap and I'd cheat the portions down form what I really ate.  I'd lie to myself. 

I'd jump on that treadmill when I got home and sweat like a pig for 20 minutes while Pete was still on his way home.  Then I'd jack thing up to 12 and step on the sides while it shirred by, racking up the miles on the counter.  He'd get home and I'd show him how well I did.  While I lied to myself about how good I did on working out.  I'd lift weights at the gym and grunt and sweat, but lie about how heavy the weights were or how many reps I actually did.

My point to all this?  The lying?  It got me NO WHERE.  None.  I knew I was lying.  Pete knew I was lying.  My family knew I was lying.  My co-workers and friends knew I was lying.  But I lied to myself about the fact that I was lying.  And it got me no where, other than to suddenly wake up after 10 years of being fat and unhappy and depressed. 

So when I hear Pete talk about clients that are having issues or when I hear friends or bloggers talk about not losing or seeing results, I can't help but wonder if they're lying to themselves too.  I want to yell to them that lying doesn't work, it does no good to them.  But I don't.  When I reach a plateau and I find myself complaining about a lack of progress I have to stop myself.  I have to tell myself to quit lying. 

Have you started telling the truth?

190.0; Weigh In Wednesday

I'm linking up with Erin at She's A Big Star and Alex at Skinny Jean Pilgrimage for weigh in Wednesday.

If you've been reading my posts, you can see that I put my daily weight in the title of each post.  I resisted posting my weight when I was in the 250s, but after being heavy for so long, I'm shouting out the fact that I'm under 200.

My weight has stayed pretty steady in the last 2 months.  And in fact I'm cancelling my appointment with my gastric band surgeon.  I don't need a fill and I'm not having issues.  Next month will be 1 year since my band was put in and I'll have a big appointment then.

I continue to get at least a mile run each day, although I'm dragging ass every morning getting up.  I have to tell you though, I've found a whole new boatload of bloggers who are losing weight and it's kind of inspired me to keep going and to rethink about my goal and that I can get there.

192; Blogs

I've said that a big part of my motivation to lose weight came from blogs.  I've mentioned them before...Prior Fat Girl, Mama Laughlin, Twelve In Twelve...along with others. 

More recently I've been getting motivation from the Internet, but in different ways.  Online boutiques, life blogs, organization blogs and still some weight loss/working out blogs.

I've mentioned before Kiki La'Rue and how awesome I think her online shop is.  Great trendy clothing for low prices and awesome customer service.  Some of the other blogs I've been reading are:

SkinnyMeg
Simply Scratch
She's A Big Star
Skinny Jean Pilgrimage

Check them out.  Read some and see if you connect with anyone.  I believe that new routines, changes and overall healthiness in all aspects of life come from connections.  Yes, I understand that these are Internet connections and I will likely never meet these people or talk to them on the phone.  But don't discount the connection of reading a post and thinking "Hey, that sounds like me." or "Hey, I can do that. or "Hey, I needed that."

And another one to check out:  Life is Amazing  She's got an awesome giveaway right now!

190.6; Mile A Day...Continued

2/1/13:  1.2 mile and Body Pump.
2/2/13:  2.3 miles.  (I had to get up at 5:30 on a SATURDAY to get this done before my full day).
2/3/13:  2.83 miles, hot tub and sauna afterwards (felt SOOOO good!).
2/4/13:  1.25 mile and Body Pump.

So today, I had planned on running the mile.  But my legs were tired.  They're not used to daily running any longer.  So I put the treadmill on incline 5 and walked the mile.  It's still a mile, right?  The trainer at the gym cautioned me about my legs and giving them a chance to rest.  We talked about how the muscles will work and like to work, but also need the time and rest to reset themselves.  So while I'll try to get runs in most days, there will be some days of walking.

As for my reward, I figured it out.  I'm going to pay myself for every full mile that I complete.  I'm hoping that it will get me to complete a mile when I start it.  I don't know what I'm going to do with the money, but I figure that it will be somewhere between $50-$75.  Enough to splurge on something that I wouldn't have in the past.

; Mile A Day

So I have this friend from afar.  I've met her and everything, I'm not a stalker.  Honestly. 

Anyway, I've noticed that for the month of January she's done a mile a day.  She's posted often on Instagr.am (why do you think they put the period there?  Why a period at all?)  Some days are good and you can tell from her capti.on (just trying the period thing myself there...).  While others are clearly a struggle. 

I've also watched a couple of times as Ann from Twelve In Twelve has done a mile a day for a period of time.

So yesterday/Thursday/the 31st/last day of the month...I got a wild hair/hare up my, um...booty.  (I'm guessing the phrase is hair because hare would hurt.)  (On second thought, maybe it is hare because they're bouncy and fast and go...hmmmm) I decided that I want to run a mile a day.  (nothing like waiting to the last minute)

What I realized is that this would give me motivation daily.  It would get me to the gym.  It would be a small goal each day towards a bigger goal.  It would get me back on track with getting to the gym.  Plus other things that I can't think of right now.

Oh fine, I realize I'm cheating.  It's the month with only 28 days.  Yes, yes, yes.  I know.  But it's a start.  It's a goal.  It's fitness. 

But I need to add some rewards.  So naturally I texted Pete and asked him what my rewards should be.  Something small each day.  You don't want to know his inappropriate answer.  I'm guessing that his second choice would have been motorcycle parts and possibly even for my bike instead of his.  But it's hard to think of 28 small, non food related rewards. 

So here's to Mile A Day.

PS...I'm still thinking about what my reward should be...