For the longest time I would stand outside at night and stare up into the sky. I'd mutter under my breath "Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. Wish I may, wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight." Then I'd wish for that special man who would understand me, love me, allow me to be who am I and make me happy. For years the wish never came true. And I thought my prince charming would never come along. I thought that he was lost somewhere and we would never meet. With each year, I'd get more and more close up. More and more withdrawn. Almost building a shell to make sure that no one saw just how lonely and ALONE I was. How sad and tired and uninspired with life I was.
But in 2007 my wish came true.
I'w with a man who has made me more me than anyone else has ever come close to. A man who looks at me and I see in his eyes who I really am. I see a man who cares for me whether or not I'm just out out the shower and all put together or just off the treadmill looking spent. A man who willing does things for me because he loves me. A man who lets me say and do things that I've always wanted to, been been too afraid to try. A man who fills in the blank spaces in my life with happiness and joy.
I watched him sleep one day. His face scruffy with whiskers, slack from relaxation of sleep. I watched him breath in and out at rest. I watched him and realized that I am so thankful for him. For how and when he came into my life. For what he gives me and what he lets me give him. I need him and he needs me.
So on 12/23/07 he presented me with a beautiful ring. A ring that means that we will share everything forever. That I don't have to live without him again. And I am happy.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Monday, November 05, 2007
MY. LEGS. HURT.
Me + squats with the bar at the gym = extreamly sore muscles for going on 3 days now....
Enough said about that.
It's dentist day today. I really dislike the dentist. Only because I can't open my mouth very much and it hurts for a while afterwards.
P.S. I played a new Christmas CD on the way to work this morning in the truck. Yes, I know it's only 11/5, but I love Christmas music.
Enough said about that.
It's dentist day today. I really dislike the dentist. Only because I can't open my mouth very much and it hurts for a while afterwards.
P.S. I played a new Christmas CD on the way to work this morning in the truck. Yes, I know it's only 11/5, but I love Christmas music.
Friday, November 02, 2007
Finally Friday
So this is week one of working out at the gym. Wasn't so bad.
{pssst.....remind me of this statement in 2 months when it's colder than crap out and all I want to do is go home...}
Yesterday P and I did cardio for 45 minutes then lifted weights. He got me to do some machines that I'd never have tried on my own. And he encouraged me to keep going when it was hard. However, he asked which one I disliked the most. When I told him he said that that was the machine we'd be working on the most because it's the one that I needed the most. Naturally I stuck my tongue out at him as a response.
Now on to matters of food... (like that transition?) Tomorrow we're celebrating my sisters birthday with Famous Daves (yum) and i'm making a Martha Stewart Salty Sweet Cake. Oh, wait. Of course I'm going to the gym before we go over there so I'll work off about 1/10th of what I actually eat. lol Maybe I should go to the gym before and after?
Other than that? I can hear out of my left ear again - kind of. It's been plugged all week. P thought it was hillarious to stop talking in the middle of his conversation and just mouth the words at me at random times throughout the week. Yeah, fun. Umm...not. Then a guy a work started doing that yesterday. Real funny you two. So I've been putting marine drops in my ear all week to *warning gross stuff ahead* soften up all that impacted wax and get it out. One night I was walking around with my head tilted to keep the drops in and banged my head on the corner. Well, I wasn't used to my head being twice it's normal width! Last night I shot warm water in my ear via that bulb thing that you use to suck snot from a baby. *warning, more gross stuff* Chunks of hard wax came out. YAY EAR WAX! So I put more drops in and tried the water thing again this morning. No more came out. I'm going to try the drops for a few more days and see if I can get it all. If not, a trip to the doctor for the high pressure ear wax hose is in store. shudder.
Well, that's more than you really wanted to know about my ear wax so I'll stop for now...
{pssst.....remind me of this statement in 2 months when it's colder than crap out and all I want to do is go home...}
Yesterday P and I did cardio for 45 minutes then lifted weights. He got me to do some machines that I'd never have tried on my own. And he encouraged me to keep going when it was hard. However, he asked which one I disliked the most. When I told him he said that that was the machine we'd be working on the most because it's the one that I needed the most. Naturally I stuck my tongue out at him as a response.
Now on to matters of food... (like that transition?) Tomorrow we're celebrating my sisters birthday with Famous Daves (yum) and i'm making a Martha Stewart Salty Sweet Cake. Oh, wait. Of course I'm going to the gym before we go over there so I'll work off about 1/10th of what I actually eat. lol Maybe I should go to the gym before and after?
Other than that? I can hear out of my left ear again - kind of. It's been plugged all week. P thought it was hillarious to stop talking in the middle of his conversation and just mouth the words at me at random times throughout the week. Yeah, fun. Umm...not. Then a guy a work started doing that yesterday. Real funny you two. So I've been putting marine drops in my ear all week to *warning gross stuff ahead* soften up all that impacted wax and get it out. One night I was walking around with my head tilted to keep the drops in and banged my head on the corner. Well, I wasn't used to my head being twice it's normal width! Last night I shot warm water in my ear via that bulb thing that you use to suck snot from a baby. *warning, more gross stuff* Chunks of hard wax came out. YAY EAR WAX! So I put more drops in and tried the water thing again this morning. No more came out. I'm going to try the drops for a few more days and see if I can get it all. If not, a trip to the doctor for the high pressure ear wax hose is in store. shudder.
Well, that's more than you really wanted to know about my ear wax so I'll stop for now...
Friday, October 26, 2007
Do you ever wonder which one you are?
So I met 7 women for dinner last night. A special group of women. There was P, C, S, S#2, S#3, J, and B. J#2 was ill and L had a family emergency.
Why are these women so special? They are the women that helped me get through college. They are college friends. No, they never did my homework...at least I don't think they did, but they may have. No, they never loaned me money for tuition...but quite possibly money for late night food and drinks. They were an integral part of my education, one I could never have finished college without. These women, in their own way, taught me things about life and friends and love. They helped me through experiences and issues and heartbreak. They laughed with me, cried with me and sat by me when I needed it.
As we were loudly having dinner last night, I kept looking around in wonder at the women that we became. At the things we accomplished in life and how far we had all come. I kept thinking that everyone has a role in a friendship and certainly there are roles in circles of friends. And it made me wonder if I had an impact on their life like they did on mine? Was there something that I taught them in college that made them who they are today? I hope so. I really do.
PS. To P: I had forgottn about falling down the stairs that night. I had forgotten about your broken finger. And I am so very sorry about it, even after all these years.
After talking for a couple of hours, telling stories of past and present, we made a plan. A plan to continue to meet. It made me happy.
Why are these women so special? They are the women that helped me get through college. They are college friends. No, they never did my homework...at least I don't think they did, but they may have. No, they never loaned me money for tuition...but quite possibly money for late night food and drinks. They were an integral part of my education, one I could never have finished college without. These women, in their own way, taught me things about life and friends and love. They helped me through experiences and issues and heartbreak. They laughed with me, cried with me and sat by me when I needed it.
As we were loudly having dinner last night, I kept looking around in wonder at the women that we became. At the things we accomplished in life and how far we had all come. I kept thinking that everyone has a role in a friendship and certainly there are roles in circles of friends. And it made me wonder if I had an impact on their life like they did on mine? Was there something that I taught them in college that made them who they are today? I hope so. I really do.
PS. To P: I had forgottn about falling down the stairs that night. I had forgotten about your broken finger. And I am so very sorry about it, even after all these years.
After talking for a couple of hours, telling stories of past and present, we made a plan. A plan to continue to meet. It made me happy.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Confessions of a bed hog...
Every morning I just naturally roll over to P's side of the bed and generally hog the whole bed after he's gotten up. I do it in my sleep so it's not like I'm waking up...saying hey let me roll over here...and doing it. But every morning I end up more on P's side of the bed, than mine.
I guess last night P got up to ah use the facilities and when he came back I had rolled onto his side. My brain must have thought that he had gotten up for the day and my body it's thing. Anyway, P tried to get me to walke up and move over and he said it wasn't working.
That's my confession of beg hogging....
I guess last night P got up to ah use the facilities and when he came back I had rolled onto his side. My brain must have thought that he had gotten up for the day and my body it's thing. Anyway, P tried to get me to walke up and move over and he said it wasn't working.
That's my confession of beg hogging....
Friday, October 12, 2007
An Anniversary of sorts
Today marks 18 years since my Grandpa J died. Sometimes...most times I miss him terribly. I miss the dry sense of humor that as a child I didn't appreciate, but understand as an adult. I miss the gruffness that disappeared with us grandkids. I miss the advice that he never got to give me. I think I miss most the leadership role that he had for our family. I hope that he's watching over me from somewhere and is proud of who I've become. And I hope that he knows that I still think about him. Love you Grandpa.
Friday Night Lights and a Tribute
I don't usually use names in my blog, but I feel like I need to this time.
The local high school football halftime will be dedicated to Dave tonight. It're pretty hard to describe Dave in words. He's a dynamic man with wonderful qualities.
Dave is my parent's age. He graduated right around my parents and although they knew of him then, they didn't hang around him. Although Dave went to college and has his teaching degree, he chose to work for the school district on the grounds crew. He would have made a wonderful teacher - the kind of teacher that makes an impact with kids. But he followed his heart and worked where it made him happy. He still managed to make an impact on the kids in the community.
Dave spent many years coaching, volunteering and donating to the kids in the community through sports. In fact he coached my softball teams, my sister's teams and my cousin's teams. He not only donated his time to all those teams (plus more), but donated money for uniforms and tournaments. He was a great coach. He has the ability to make it fun for you, to get you interested and to not get down on yourself when it doesn't go your way. Yet, when it was time for seriousness, he could be that also. I have lots of wonderful memories of my school years and playing sports.
Meanwhile, he continued on the grounds crew for the district. He started mowing the high school football field and taking care of that. It became his passion. He cared for that field with everything he had. In fact, the district wouldn't let anyone else mow it and left him a mower at his house near the field so he could do it when he had time. When Dave retired they placed a plaque at the field nicknaming the field "Dave's Field" for all his hard work on the field.
Sometime in there he because the leader for the "chain gang" for the football games. He and a group of guys ( my Dad included) hold the markers for the downs and the yard markers for the current placement of the ball. They talk, have fun and do thise every home football game. He's gotten the "chain gang" uniforms, jackets, hats and even had them doing the same thing at the state tournament. The group of guys get together every Friday for dinner at Dave's house and take turns bringing dinner. Then they walk down to the field for the game. They love it.
A couple of years ago Dave was diagnosed with cancer. He fought hard and with treatment went into remission. A couple of weeks ago my Mom called to say that the cancer was back and Dave was in the hospital. Then she called to say that it didn't look good for him. Well tonight, at the football game, they are going to have a surprise tribute for him at halftime. I'm both happy about this and incredibly sad. He's a single man who never married, yet gave so much to the kids in the community for so many years. And it makes me really sad to think that he won't be around someday soon.
So if you're reading this and you have some spare thoughts, send them Dave's way. I hope tonight he realizes how much of an impact he has and how many people love him.
The local high school football halftime will be dedicated to Dave tonight. It're pretty hard to describe Dave in words. He's a dynamic man with wonderful qualities.
Dave is my parent's age. He graduated right around my parents and although they knew of him then, they didn't hang around him. Although Dave went to college and has his teaching degree, he chose to work for the school district on the grounds crew. He would have made a wonderful teacher - the kind of teacher that makes an impact with kids. But he followed his heart and worked where it made him happy. He still managed to make an impact on the kids in the community.
Dave spent many years coaching, volunteering and donating to the kids in the community through sports. In fact he coached my softball teams, my sister's teams and my cousin's teams. He not only donated his time to all those teams (plus more), but donated money for uniforms and tournaments. He was a great coach. He has the ability to make it fun for you, to get you interested and to not get down on yourself when it doesn't go your way. Yet, when it was time for seriousness, he could be that also. I have lots of wonderful memories of my school years and playing sports.
Meanwhile, he continued on the grounds crew for the district. He started mowing the high school football field and taking care of that. It became his passion. He cared for that field with everything he had. In fact, the district wouldn't let anyone else mow it and left him a mower at his house near the field so he could do it when he had time. When Dave retired they placed a plaque at the field nicknaming the field "Dave's Field" for all his hard work on the field.
Sometime in there he because the leader for the "chain gang" for the football games. He and a group of guys ( my Dad included) hold the markers for the downs and the yard markers for the current placement of the ball. They talk, have fun and do thise every home football game. He's gotten the "chain gang" uniforms, jackets, hats and even had them doing the same thing at the state tournament. The group of guys get together every Friday for dinner at Dave's house and take turns bringing dinner. Then they walk down to the field for the game. They love it.
A couple of years ago Dave was diagnosed with cancer. He fought hard and with treatment went into remission. A couple of weeks ago my Mom called to say that the cancer was back and Dave was in the hospital. Then she called to say that it didn't look good for him. Well tonight, at the football game, they are going to have a surprise tribute for him at halftime. I'm both happy about this and incredibly sad. He's a single man who never married, yet gave so much to the kids in the community for so many years. And it makes me really sad to think that he won't be around someday soon.
So if you're reading this and you have some spare thoughts, send them Dave's way. I hope tonight he realizes how much of an impact he has and how many people love him.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Watch out for Turtles!
Every morning P wakes me up about 5:10 before he leaves to give me a kiss. It's earlier than I want to be awake, but if he doesn't do it I get mad. I like telling him I love him before he leaves for the day. I go back to sleep soon afterwards. Then he calls about 5:50 to wake me up for my day.
Lately, I've been kind of falling asleep again while talking on the phone. *sheepish grin*
A while ago it got all quiet on the phone and I suddenly yelled "So what's new?" (laughing from P)
Last week it got all quiet and when I realized it I yelled "WOOHOO!" {much laughing from P)
This week I yelled out "Watch out for turtles!" (extream amount of laughing from P)
See I think I'm in that half asleep, half awake state when I yell these things. And whatever I was dreaming about is trying to merge into my awake conversation. Only God knows what I was dreaming about when I said WOO HOO or if I was having some weird dream about turtles.
So the turtle line has become a staple in our conversations. P injects it into the conversation whenever he can. lol I can't wait for the next line that pops out of my mouth!
Lately, I've been kind of falling asleep again while talking on the phone. *sheepish grin*
A while ago it got all quiet on the phone and I suddenly yelled "So what's new?" (laughing from P)
Last week it got all quiet and when I realized it I yelled "WOOHOO!" {much laughing from P)
This week I yelled out "Watch out for turtles!" (extream amount of laughing from P)
See I think I'm in that half asleep, half awake state when I yell these things. And whatever I was dreaming about is trying to merge into my awake conversation. Only God knows what I was dreaming about when I said WOO HOO or if I was having some weird dream about turtles.
So the turtle line has become a staple in our conversations. P injects it into the conversation whenever he can. lol I can't wait for the next line that pops out of my mouth!
Monday, October 08, 2007
Movies, lift bridges and a brewery....
Sounds like a bad joke, huh? It's not. It was my weekend.
Friday we watched last in a set of 3 movies we rented. ALl different kinds of movies, but weird. This one had dead people talking and even with Cuba Gooding Jr, it was horrible!
Saturday we made the trip to P's work to pick up some exercise equipment. Here's hoping it gets used! Then we went to Walmart & waited an hour for them to correct P's balancing of his tires. It's the third trip there and hopefully this time it's right. I'll admit I pouted a little at spending a gorgeous summer like fall day in a store for over an hour when we had planned to be outside. Then we went to a small town art fair that was kindof disapointing. On the up side we left there and went to a local German restaurant. I had the most wonderful beef dish and can't wait for time to try making it at home. Then we went to our favorite place. We ended up in a serious conversation that started out strange and ended with kind of a weird feeling about us. It still makes me think long and hard about how certain things are important to one person and other things are important to the other person.
Sunday we got up and coudln't decide what to do. P looked up German food and found the grocery he was looking for and we jumped in the car to find it. 2 hours later we were in a little town buying all kinds of German things. Chocolate, spaetzle, puddings, bread, spaetzle makers... I wish I could have bottled the look on P's face adn the joy in his words. They were priceless. And I love that he shared that with me. Then we ended up walking up a monument and touring a B&B. Then we decided to tour Schell's Brewery. It was fun! I got a little...happy! P thought it was hillarious to watch me while I was a little drunk.
Next...a local winery! LOL
Friday we watched last in a set of 3 movies we rented. ALl different kinds of movies, but weird. This one had dead people talking and even with Cuba Gooding Jr, it was horrible!
Saturday we made the trip to P's work to pick up some exercise equipment. Here's hoping it gets used! Then we went to Walmart & waited an hour for them to correct P's balancing of his tires. It's the third trip there and hopefully this time it's right. I'll admit I pouted a little at spending a gorgeous summer like fall day in a store for over an hour when we had planned to be outside. Then we went to a small town art fair that was kindof disapointing. On the up side we left there and went to a local German restaurant. I had the most wonderful beef dish and can't wait for time to try making it at home. Then we went to our favorite place. We ended up in a serious conversation that started out strange and ended with kind of a weird feeling about us. It still makes me think long and hard about how certain things are important to one person and other things are important to the other person.
Sunday we got up and coudln't decide what to do. P looked up German food and found the grocery he was looking for and we jumped in the car to find it. 2 hours later we were in a little town buying all kinds of German things. Chocolate, spaetzle, puddings, bread, spaetzle makers... I wish I could have bottled the look on P's face adn the joy in his words. They were priceless. And I love that he shared that with me. Then we ended up walking up a monument and touring a B&B. Then we decided to tour Schell's Brewery. It was fun! I got a little...happy! P thought it was hillarious to watch me while I was a little drunk.
Next...a local winery! LOL
Friday, October 05, 2007
Hooky...
P and I played hooky yesterday! Ok, well not really. We each took a few hours of vacation yesterday afternoon because it was so nice out. We ended up going
Louisville Swamp . Yes I know it's called a swamp, but it's not like you're walking in water or anything. It's beautiful out there. We spent about 3 hours in there hiking around and looking at the old buildings. I sat on a bench by the old farmstead & considered the buildings. They're incredible for how old they are and that they would built by farmers!
Anyway we had dinner and of course ended up at our favorite place.
Centennial Lakes . There is one certain swing that P and I sit in all the time. We talk, laugh, joke, cuddle, swing and people watch. Then we get up and walk around the lake. I love it there.
So that was ysterday.
Today? Rain Rain Rain. Yuk!
Louisville Swamp . Yes I know it's called a swamp, but it's not like you're walking in water or anything. It's beautiful out there. We spent about 3 hours in there hiking around and looking at the old buildings. I sat on a bench by the old farmstead & considered the buildings. They're incredible for how old they are and that they would built by farmers!
Anyway we had dinner and of course ended up at our favorite place.
Centennial Lakes . There is one certain swing that P and I sit in all the time. We talk, laugh, joke, cuddle, swing and people watch. Then we get up and walk around the lake. I love it there.
So that was ysterday.
Today? Rain Rain Rain. Yuk!
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Bad day all around
1. First was the squabble with P in the morning.
2. I had PMS/DMS and the squabble made my cry.
3. Then he told me it wasn't that big a deal & to stop crying. GRRRR. I'm freaking emotional!
4. On my way to work a guy pulled out in front of me almost hitting my front end. I honked, but it didn't seem to bother him.
5. I get to work and make my breakfast of toasted english muffin & coffee. Yay me!
6. The toaster police tells me I need an intervention and can't toast any longer it smells bad to her and she can't stand it. GRRR.
Insert office door closed crying jag here. :(
7. I left work only to drive 70 minutes to the town P works in to look at a house we like. Yes, 70 minutes.
8. The house was horrible. No wonder it hasn't sold.
9. I found out that my townhouse has lost value with the horrible housing market and I would have to pay to sell it.
Insert depressed *sigh* along with attempt at another crying jag.
It was a horrible, no good nastly, make you want to crawl back in bed kind of day yesterday.
2. I had PMS/DMS and the squabble made my cry.
3. Then he told me it wasn't that big a deal & to stop crying. GRRRR. I'm freaking emotional!
4. On my way to work a guy pulled out in front of me almost hitting my front end. I honked, but it didn't seem to bother him.
5. I get to work and make my breakfast of toasted english muffin & coffee. Yay me!
6. The toaster police tells me I need an intervention and can't toast any longer it smells bad to her and she can't stand it. GRRR.
Insert office door closed crying jag here. :(
7. I left work only to drive 70 minutes to the town P works in to look at a house we like. Yes, 70 minutes.
8. The house was horrible. No wonder it hasn't sold.
9. I found out that my townhouse has lost value with the horrible housing market and I would have to pay to sell it.
Insert depressed *sigh* along with attempt at another crying jag.
It was a horrible, no good nastly, make you want to crawl back in bed kind of day yesterday.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
I think it clicked
A week ago I was off in my own little world thinking. I was in the car, sitting next to P while he was driving womewhere. I don't remember what I was thinking before or after. But in the moment I realized that I truely love him. That I couldn't imagine my life without him. That he completes me in many ways that I never even knew I needed completed. That he has awakened a sense in learning, seeing a doing that I never knew I had. That he makes me laugh when I think I should be upset. And I realized that there were a million little reasons why I need him and love him.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Huh, September
Yeah, so I got sidetracked during September.
Let me sum it up for you....
Went camping up north (about 4 hours north of here) over Labor Day. Too bad they were having a burn ban from the lack of rain. If I can figure out the issue with my pc, I'll load some pictures. We'll see about that. Oh yeah, during the whole camping thing P and/or I had colds. Yeah, camping isn't as much fun when your nose is running all night. We went moose watching, but never saw anything. At night, instead of sitting by a fire, we sat in the car and watch a movie on the laptop. High Tech camping! LOL
The short track racing season is coming to a close here in...coldness. It was in the lower 50's a couple of weekends ago with a strong breeze. Layers? I had a short sleeved shirt, long sleeved shirt, pullover hooded sweatshirt & P's sweatshirt on. THEN I had a blanket over my lap. It was kind of chilly, but damn if I wasn't going to spend the night at the races! Last weekend the track had a Destruction Night. I am in LOVE with the flagpole races. The cars make a trip around the track & to finish it they have to go around a flag in a huge tire. You have some cars coming in to make the turn while others are trying to get out. As P's friend said "It's awesome!" That night they had school busses do the flag pole. I'll say it this time. It was awesome! Of course one guy ran into another bus and flipped it. The guy in the flipped bus just hung from his restraints laughing.
I am no longer a Ren Fest virgin. Interesting experience. We met a woman on a second date with some guy while waiting for the jousting to start. She ended up talking to us more than him. He wasn't pleased! She gave her number to us to meet up sometime and go out. But I think that she was too drunk when we met her to remember us because she wouldn't return calls or text messages. LOL The rest of the day was fun. I got my chest sparkled by a roaming guy. I ate a turkey leg and somewonderful cake. Then walked and walked.
The rest of the month was spent walking or biking or rollerskating or bowling or going to the local blues house to listen to jazz/blues or movies or whatever P and I can think of to do. The rollerskating worries my Mom. She thinks I'm too old to start skating again. In reality my old skates still fit and I like rolling around the rink that I rolled around when I was 12.
The biking is kicking my butt! Literally...my butt is sore. LOL But I can do about 8 miles around the lakes, up and down hills, with and against the wind. Only thing is that I don't fit on the woman's bike P has, I fit better on his. So we're in the market for a new bike for him that fits him better and then I can use his. Maybe Santa?
So I'll try to be better again about posting. Really I will.
And if you could, keep P in your thoughts. His Dad is in and out of the hospital a lot lately. I'm sure that it's going to continue to get more and more as his illness continues. They both could use all the good thoughts you can spare.
Let me sum it up for you....
Went camping up north (about 4 hours north of here) over Labor Day. Too bad they were having a burn ban from the lack of rain. If I can figure out the issue with my pc, I'll load some pictures. We'll see about that. Oh yeah, during the whole camping thing P and/or I had colds. Yeah, camping isn't as much fun when your nose is running all night. We went moose watching, but never saw anything. At night, instead of sitting by a fire, we sat in the car and watch a movie on the laptop. High Tech camping! LOL
The short track racing season is coming to a close here in...coldness. It was in the lower 50's a couple of weekends ago with a strong breeze. Layers? I had a short sleeved shirt, long sleeved shirt, pullover hooded sweatshirt & P's sweatshirt on. THEN I had a blanket over my lap. It was kind of chilly, but damn if I wasn't going to spend the night at the races! Last weekend the track had a Destruction Night. I am in LOVE with the flagpole races. The cars make a trip around the track & to finish it they have to go around a flag in a huge tire. You have some cars coming in to make the turn while others are trying to get out. As P's friend said "It's awesome!" That night they had school busses do the flag pole. I'll say it this time. It was awesome! Of course one guy ran into another bus and flipped it. The guy in the flipped bus just hung from his restraints laughing.
I am no longer a Ren Fest virgin. Interesting experience. We met a woman on a second date with some guy while waiting for the jousting to start. She ended up talking to us more than him. He wasn't pleased! She gave her number to us to meet up sometime and go out. But I think that she was too drunk when we met her to remember us because she wouldn't return calls or text messages. LOL The rest of the day was fun. I got my chest sparkled by a roaming guy. I ate a turkey leg and somewonderful cake. Then walked and walked.
The rest of the month was spent walking or biking or rollerskating or bowling or going to the local blues house to listen to jazz/blues or movies or whatever P and I can think of to do. The rollerskating worries my Mom. She thinks I'm too old to start skating again. In reality my old skates still fit and I like rolling around the rink that I rolled around when I was 12.
The biking is kicking my butt! Literally...my butt is sore. LOL But I can do about 8 miles around the lakes, up and down hills, with and against the wind. Only thing is that I don't fit on the woman's bike P has, I fit better on his. So we're in the market for a new bike for him that fits him better and then I can use his. Maybe Santa?
So I'll try to be better again about posting. Really I will.
And if you could, keep P in your thoughts. His Dad is in and out of the hospital a lot lately. I'm sure that it's going to continue to get more and more as his illness continues. They both could use all the good thoughts you can spare.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Many things to say...
It was a hard day on Tuesday. P was having rough times with friends.
One friend (who's really an old ex) was going to loan us things for camping. However, when he got to her house, she wasn't there. He called and she told him the things were outside and he should leave $500 in the mailbox. Uh....no. He called me when he left her house and I don't know that I've ever seen him so mad. I don't like the push-pull emotional rollercoaster she has him on and wish that he would just cut ties.
The other friend, his best friend, is going through hard times. He is struggling with the anniversary of the loss of a parent. P talked to him for over an hour on Tuesday night. When he came back from his walk, I was sleeping and he woke me up. He told me that he had been talking to his friend and asking him if he had someone hear him to talk to/help him out. He said no. Then P asked if he had a girlfriend to lean on and he said no. P pulled out a rose from the gas station and told me how he was surely glad that I was in his life to lean on when he needed it. Although it mades me sad that P's friend is hurting, the emotion and sentiment from P made me cry. It was beautiful. I have the rose (it's one of the fabric ones) on my monitor at work so I can look at it all day.
Yesterday I took A for the last time before she starts school. I cannot believe that she is old enough to go to kindy! I picked her up and we went to the local doughnut shop. The one by my junior high school that we used to go to before school. She was facinated that people got up really early to make all those doughnuts.
Then we went to my house and of course we had to make banana bread. Everyone wins with this. She gets 4 little loaves to take home and P & I get a couple of bigger ones to eat. When we were done we went to http://www.spacealiens.com/ for lunch. I could tell that A was tired and I had to kind of bribe her to sit still & eat with the promise of games afterwards. She LOVED the racing game. She's a pretty good driver for only being 5, but ran over her share of things and the game totaled her damages at over $85,000. LOL
When we got home she was whiney. I told her that we needed to lay in bed & watch TV. She yelled at me "BUT I'M NOT TAKING A NAP!" I told her that was fine and to just lay & watch TV. She again yelled, "BUT I'M NOT GOING TO SLEEP!" and promptly fell asleep within 10 minutes.
When she got home she and K left to go to the open house for school. I'm going to miss that little girl that I could take any day to spend time with. But hopefully this will give me time to start taking G for days now.
Camping. More work to get ready that I thought. And P is coming down with a bad cold. We may be camping in the livingroom! LOL
One friend (who's really an old ex) was going to loan us things for camping. However, when he got to her house, she wasn't there. He called and she told him the things were outside and he should leave $500 in the mailbox. Uh....no. He called me when he left her house and I don't know that I've ever seen him so mad. I don't like the push-pull emotional rollercoaster she has him on and wish that he would just cut ties.
The other friend, his best friend, is going through hard times. He is struggling with the anniversary of the loss of a parent. P talked to him for over an hour on Tuesday night. When he came back from his walk, I was sleeping and he woke me up. He told me that he had been talking to his friend and asking him if he had someone hear him to talk to/help him out. He said no. Then P asked if he had a girlfriend to lean on and he said no. P pulled out a rose from the gas station and told me how he was surely glad that I was in his life to lean on when he needed it. Although it mades me sad that P's friend is hurting, the emotion and sentiment from P made me cry. It was beautiful. I have the rose (it's one of the fabric ones) on my monitor at work so I can look at it all day.
Yesterday I took A for the last time before she starts school. I cannot believe that she is old enough to go to kindy! I picked her up and we went to the local doughnut shop. The one by my junior high school that we used to go to before school. She was facinated that people got up really early to make all those doughnuts.
Then we went to my house and of course we had to make banana bread. Everyone wins with this. She gets 4 little loaves to take home and P & I get a couple of bigger ones to eat. When we were done we went to http://www.spacealiens.com/ for lunch. I could tell that A was tired and I had to kind of bribe her to sit still & eat with the promise of games afterwards. She LOVED the racing game. She's a pretty good driver for only being 5, but ran over her share of things and the game totaled her damages at over $85,000. LOL
When we got home she was whiney. I told her that we needed to lay in bed & watch TV. She yelled at me "BUT I'M NOT TAKING A NAP!" I told her that was fine and to just lay & watch TV. She again yelled, "BUT I'M NOT GOING TO SLEEP!" and promptly fell asleep within 10 minutes.
When she got home she and K left to go to the open house for school. I'm going to miss that little girl that I could take any day to spend time with. But hopefully this will give me time to start taking G for days now.
Camping. More work to get ready that I thought. And P is coming down with a bad cold. We may be camping in the livingroom! LOL
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Perma-Grin!
I did it! I left work yesterday and drove (100 miles + round trip) to get to P about lunch time. It wasn't a nice day out, but there is something about driving along those back country roads that is fun and interesting. I passed trailers, semi's, boats, farm equipment and lots of cars.
Want to know the route? It's 1 stop light, 1 stop sign, another stop light and then a T where the road diversts though a little town. Go left then another stop light and stop sign. Continue on until you get to another T and go right. Next street turn left and pass by the southwest end of the lake. Stop just past the railroad tracks and cross the countyroad to the building. It's a little over 50 miles from my parkinglot to his.
I pulled up to the lot and called his cell. He was in the plant and told me he'd call me back. I waited and when he answered I asked what he was doing. He told me that he was walking back from the plant to his office. Then he asked what I was doing and I told him I was waiting for him so we could go to lunch. When he met me up by the office he was shocked. He had a huge grin and it made me feel really good to know that he was happy I came out there.
We had pizze for lunch and went back to the plant. I got safety goggles and a warning about my sandals that showed my toes! Then he showed me the plant. It was really interesting learning how they work and seeing it. And P was proud to show it all to me. He introduced me to the ladies he walks with and some of the other people in the offices by him.
Then we kissed and he went back to work and I went home.
I finally surprized him! *grin*
Want to know the route? It's 1 stop light, 1 stop sign, another stop light and then a T where the road diversts though a little town. Go left then another stop light and stop sign. Continue on until you get to another T and go right. Next street turn left and pass by the southwest end of the lake. Stop just past the railroad tracks and cross the countyroad to the building. It's a little over 50 miles from my parkinglot to his.
I pulled up to the lot and called his cell. He was in the plant and told me he'd call me back. I waited and when he answered I asked what he was doing. He told me that he was walking back from the plant to his office. Then he asked what I was doing and I told him I was waiting for him so we could go to lunch. When he met me up by the office he was shocked. He had a huge grin and it made me feel really good to know that he was happy I came out there.
We had pizze for lunch and went back to the plant. I got safety goggles and a warning about my sandals that showed my toes! Then he showed me the plant. It was really interesting learning how they work and seeing it. And P was proud to show it all to me. He introduced me to the ladies he walks with and some of the other people in the offices by him.
Then we kissed and he went back to work and I went home.
I finally surprized him! *grin*
Monday, August 27, 2007
I'm going to try this again!
Last week I attempted to surprize P. Before he left for his walk one night I asked him how long he was going to be gone. His reply, "30 minutes." So I waited about 10 minutes after he left and followed him. There is a little park just down the road on his route. I waited there, between the buildings, for him. Every so often I'd peek my head out in the shadows to see if he was on his way back.
5 minutes...10 minutes...15 minutes...20 minutes...25 minutes....
Then I decided that I needed to call his cell. He should have been back that way by now and I didn't want him thinking that I just took off from home if he went another way. So I called, "Where are you?" He tells me he's way down in one of the neighborhoods. Then he asks where I am. "Waiting for you," I say. And I explain my attempt at a surprize. He walk/ran back to where I was so we could sit under the stars & talk. But by that time there was someone else who was creeping around the buildings and I got freaked out. Don't they know only I am allowed to creep?
So I'm trying it again today. It's my first day on the new job function and I can leave when I want again. So I plan on leaving before noon and driving out to P's work. It's about 1 hour from my work. Half way there I'm going to call and ask if he wants to meet for lunch.
Wish me luck. For if this one doesn't work out, I'm going to be a little leary of the "good surprize" from now on. LOL
5 minutes...10 minutes...15 minutes...20 minutes...25 minutes....
Then I decided that I needed to call his cell. He should have been back that way by now and I didn't want him thinking that I just took off from home if he went another way. So I called, "Where are you?" He tells me he's way down in one of the neighborhoods. Then he asks where I am. "Waiting for you," I say. And I explain my attempt at a surprize. He walk/ran back to where I was so we could sit under the stars & talk. But by that time there was someone else who was creeping around the buildings and I got freaked out. Don't they know only I am allowed to creep?
So I'm trying it again today. It's my first day on the new job function and I can leave when I want again. So I plan on leaving before noon and driving out to P's work. It's about 1 hour from my work. Half way there I'm going to call and ask if he wants to meet for lunch.
Wish me luck. For if this one doesn't work out, I'm going to be a little leary of the "good surprize" from now on. LOL
Friday, August 24, 2007
Crap. Crap. Crap!
Damn! I had this long entry typed out and my computer clunked out on me. I guess that's what I get for trying to post from work, huh?
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
I have socks on...
Socks. And actual closed toed shoes.
It's raining here. Actually it's been raining pretty much non stop for the last 5 days. Not that we didn't need rain the middle of this drought we have been having. It's just that it would have been better if it wasn't so much all at once. I think southeastern parts of the state received over 18 inches in less than 3 days. It's nuts. And it's killed people.
Whatelse? Hmmm Well it's my last week on the job rotation and I can't wait to have my freedom again. I can come and go pretty much when I want (within reason) as long as I'm getting my work done and my hours in. I CAN'T WAIT.
P and I have reservations way north for camping over Labor Day. We're trying to develop a list and plan of attack for what we need. It's been interesting to say the least. I'm a huge planner and relish in making and cross off lists. He's a fly by the seat of your pants guy who would wait until the last minute, but what he needs as he's leaving town. I'm onlying saying that we compliment each other. lol
It's raining here. Actually it's been raining pretty much non stop for the last 5 days. Not that we didn't need rain the middle of this drought we have been having. It's just that it would have been better if it wasn't so much all at once. I think southeastern parts of the state received over 18 inches in less than 3 days. It's nuts. And it's killed people.
Whatelse? Hmmm Well it's my last week on the job rotation and I can't wait to have my freedom again. I can come and go pretty much when I want (within reason) as long as I'm getting my work done and my hours in. I CAN'T WAIT.
P and I have reservations way north for camping over Labor Day. We're trying to develop a list and plan of attack for what we need. It's been interesting to say the least. I'm a huge planner and relish in making and cross off lists. He's a fly by the seat of your pants guy who would wait until the last minute, but what he needs as he's leaving town. I'm onlying saying that we compliment each other. lol
Friday, August 17, 2007
Oops
So it's the 17th and I'm about 350 minutes over my cell phone plan.
Oops.
Oops to the tune of $160!!!
I think P and I might be talking ALOT on the cell phones. I increased my plan, but it won't take effect until the next billing cycle. On my lunch hour I'm going to stop into the ATT store to see abou buying extra minutes until then. Or I'm pretty much screwed and should just hand ATT my next paycheck.
*sigh*
Oops.
Oops to the tune of $160!!!
I think P and I might be talking ALOT on the cell phones. I increased my plan, but it won't take effect until the next billing cycle. On my lunch hour I'm going to stop into the ATT store to see abou buying extra minutes until then. Or I'm pretty much screwed and should just hand ATT my next paycheck.
*sigh*
Thursday, August 16, 2007
I don't know what to do...
I'm at such a loss. I don't know how to help P with the seriousness of his Dad's health. He's exhausted today from not sleeping last night. Today he called to say that the hosptial was letting his Dad go. I think P has all these thoughts running through his head and doesn't know how to process them and isn't sure he really wants to process them. Who really wants to think about the progression of a parent's death? And to make matters worse, this will be the second time thta P will have to go through this in less than 15 years and he's only 40. It makes me incredibly sad for him and worried about him.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Totally Random Post
It's been one of those months that seems to fly by.
P's Dad is not doing well. He's in the hospital right now and the doctor says that it's a day by day thing. P's having a hard time with it and a hard time opening up to me to talk about it. I really dislike our culture's attitude that "big boys don't cry" and they have to be strong. Their hurt is just as real and hard as a woman's hurt.
We spent last weekend watching my sister's kids. It was an experience. We found out that their master bedroom window moans in a storm. Although, I was convicinved that someone was in the house when it woke me up at 3:15am. Then P pointed out "Who is going to break into a house to moan?" Uh...ok, you have a point there! And don't tell, but we took advantage of the garden spa tub in their bathroom both nights and let Calgon take us away for a couple of hours. It was w.o.n.d.e.r.f.u.l.
We're going to try to go camping over the Labor Day weekend. All I can say is that I think we may have different ideas of what camping is. Mine being more planned out and prepared. his being byt the seat of your pants, whatever comes along comes. Should be interesting, no?
P's Dad is not doing well. He's in the hospital right now and the doctor says that it's a day by day thing. P's having a hard time with it and a hard time opening up to me to talk about it. I really dislike our culture's attitude that "big boys don't cry" and they have to be strong. Their hurt is just as real and hard as a woman's hurt.
We spent last weekend watching my sister's kids. It was an experience. We found out that their master bedroom window moans in a storm. Although, I was convicinved that someone was in the house when it woke me up at 3:15am. Then P pointed out "Who is going to break into a house to moan?" Uh...ok, you have a point there! And don't tell, but we took advantage of the garden spa tub in their bathroom both nights and let Calgon take us away for a couple of hours. It was w.o.n.d.e.r.f.u.l.
We're going to try to go camping over the Labor Day weekend. All I can say is that I think we may have different ideas of what camping is. Mine being more planned out and prepared. his being byt the seat of your pants, whatever comes along comes. Should be interesting, no?
Thursday, June 21, 2007
P
P is a man that I have dated several times before. That sounds really bad, I know. We met online in the fall of 2002...I think. It may have been 2003. Anyway...
P and I met online on one of those dating sites. The first time we met in person, I knew there was something there. Butterflies, smiles and the whole nine yards. I think I love him at first sight.
We "dated" for a month, spending lots of time together walking around Centennial Lakes and the MOA and talking. He came to my house & we watched movies. Then one day he just disappeared. Emails and calls went unanswered. I had no clue as to what possibly could have happended, but it was done.
About 2 months passed and Pete called. He said that he had been out of state for family business and apologized for dropping off the face of the earth with no contact. He said that he wanted to see me and we made plans for him to come to my house later that week. Then I waited. Waited for about 3 hours the night he was to show. He never did and never called. The next day I got an email from him saying that he couldn't come. An email. I was understandably hurt again. And for the life of me I couldn't understand why he would just not show.
We ended up talking and made plans for him to come over the following week. And believe it or not, he did the same thing. So I was done. I wasn done waiting for this man who appeared too busy to make time for me. And if it was this hard now, in the beginning when things are rosey, what would it be like later?
So I went on with my life and forgot about him. I ended up meeting a really nice man and we dated for about 7 months before realizing that it wasn't going to work. Then I spent some time by myself. I really believe that if you're not happy and comfortable with yourself, you're not going to be happy & comfortable in a realitionship.
P continued to contact me via email while I was in the other relationship and afterwardsm but I never responded. Then one day I got another email from him. It had been about 10 months since we last talked and I agreed to meet up with him again. There are a couple of posts about him in the various blogs and our relationship. Basically he did to me again, what he had done before. He had limited time to see me, wanted me to be available for him when he had time and to basically wait for him. I couldn't do it. After about 3 months I was done again. I told him not to contact me. To just let it go.
I thought it was done.
In March of 2006 I was online and received an email from P. I had a horrible day, lots of stress in my life recently and just thought this was the kicker.
P and I met online on one of those dating sites. The first time we met in person, I knew there was something there. Butterflies, smiles and the whole nine yards. I think I love him at first sight.
We "dated" for a month, spending lots of time together walking around Centennial Lakes and the MOA and talking. He came to my house & we watched movies. Then one day he just disappeared. Emails and calls went unanswered. I had no clue as to what possibly could have happended, but it was done.
About 2 months passed and Pete called. He said that he had been out of state for family business and apologized for dropping off the face of the earth with no contact. He said that he wanted to see me and we made plans for him to come to my house later that week. Then I waited. Waited for about 3 hours the night he was to show. He never did and never called. The next day I got an email from him saying that he couldn't come. An email. I was understandably hurt again. And for the life of me I couldn't understand why he would just not show.
We ended up talking and made plans for him to come over the following week. And believe it or not, he did the same thing. So I was done. I wasn done waiting for this man who appeared too busy to make time for me. And if it was this hard now, in the beginning when things are rosey, what would it be like later?
So I went on with my life and forgot about him. I ended up meeting a really nice man and we dated for about 7 months before realizing that it wasn't going to work. Then I spent some time by myself. I really believe that if you're not happy and comfortable with yourself, you're not going to be happy & comfortable in a realitionship.
P continued to contact me via email while I was in the other relationship and afterwardsm but I never responded. Then one day I got another email from him. It had been about 10 months since we last talked and I agreed to meet up with him again. There are a couple of posts about him in the various blogs and our relationship. Basically he did to me again, what he had done before. He had limited time to see me, wanted me to be available for him when he had time and to basically wait for him. I couldn't do it. After about 3 months I was done again. I told him not to contact me. To just let it go.
I thought it was done.
In March of 2006 I was online and received an email from P. I had a horrible day, lots of stress in my life recently and just thought this was the kicker.
Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star...
Remember that kids song?
Twinkle twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are.
You above the sky so high,
Like a diamond in the night.
Wish I may,
Wish I might,
Have this wish.
I wish tonight.
You're supposed to sing it when you see the first star in the sky and then make a wish.
My wish? It's been the same thing since I was about 14. Actually there was a period when my Mom was going through cancer that I wished for her heath. Other than that, every star had the same wish.
I wish that I would have a man to share my life with, one who loves me as much as I love him.
I think I have it. I really do. Ironically I thought that once I had it, I'd stop wishing on that star. Only I still use it. I still wish. In fact, I did so last night and the night before.
My wish now? I wish that this man and I will survive, that we will be together for a long time to come.
Twinkle twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are.
You above the sky so high,
Like a diamond in the night.
Wish I may,
Wish I might,
Have this wish.
I wish tonight.
You're supposed to sing it when you see the first star in the sky and then make a wish.
My wish? It's been the same thing since I was about 14. Actually there was a period when my Mom was going through cancer that I wished for her heath. Other than that, every star had the same wish.
I wish that I would have a man to share my life with, one who loves me as much as I love him.
I think I have it. I really do. Ironically I thought that once I had it, I'd stop wishing on that star. Only I still use it. I still wish. In fact, I did so last night and the night before.
My wish now? I wish that this man and I will survive, that we will be together for a long time to come.
SIGH
So here I am, back again. Why? Why start blogging again? Sometimes I think that what I have in my head would be easier understood if I could get it out. If I could see it on the screen and read it from outside my head.
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