I'm hiding

I'm hiding lately.  Have you noticed?

I'm hiding from working out, from counting calories, from losing weight.  And rather than rant on and on about it, or bemoan my inability to follow through or any of it...I'm hiding.  I'm still posting, but not about me. 

I'm good at hiding.  I've done it for years.  I can blend into the background with the best of them.  I was (am?) that person that would be at a party and the next day talk to someone who had no idea I was there.  I am the person that keeps all the feelings inside until they explode out of me in ways that are not healthy and sometimes hurtful to others.  I am the person who can pretend that it's all good on the outside as the inside is screaming.

To be honest, I didn't realize I was hiding until I looked back a the titles of the posts here.  For the last 24 hours I've thought and thought and thought some more about why I'm hiding.  I think I know.  I think I'm to the point of talking it through.  I just need to talk to Pete about it first.

So until I can talk and then talk to you, I'm still hiding.  I'm here.  Just hiding.

Taco Pie? Mexican Cornbread Casserole?

Last week when I was grocery shopping I found lots of great fresh produce.  And as I do a lot, I ended up shopping while creating a recipe in my head.  Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't...  This time it did.  Only I can't figure out what to call it.  Taco Pie sounds, well, not great.  Mexican Cornbread Casserole?  Really it's the best I can come up with.

Take these items:  can of diced chilis, can of reduced sodium black beans, small can of reduced sodium tomato sauce and your favorite salsa.

Add the corn from one large ear and 1/2 cup each of red, yellow and green pepper along with cornbread and some other things.  Here's the whole recipe:

Mexican Cornbread Casserole

• 1/2 pound lean ground turkey, chicken or beef.
• 1 tablespoon taco seasoning.  I make my own with the recipe here.
• 1 1/2 cup diced bell peppers - any color
• 1/2 cup fresh or frozen corn
• 1 cup of your favorite salsa
• 1 can diced chilis.  I would have used jalapeno if I had a fresh one.
• 1 small can reduced sodium tomato sauce
• 1 can reduced sodium black beans

For the Cornbread portion:

• 2/3 cup wheat flour
• 1/3 cup cornmeal
• 2 tblsp sugar
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 cup milk
• 2 tblsp oil
• 1 egg, beaten
• 1/3 cup shredded cheese



Heat oven to 400 degrees.

Brown crumbled meat in pan and add taco seasoning. 

In a large bowl mix the meat, the veggies, the beans, salsa and the tomato sauce well.  I added some other spices like cumin, chili powder and hot sauce to our liking. 

Spray a 9x9 inch baking dish with non stick spray and wipe most of it out.  Pour in the mixture and set aside.

Mix together the cornbread.  Drop by spoonfuls over the top of the dish.  Spread out as much as possible.

Bake for 35-40 minutes or until the cornbread is done.

Addiction Follow Up

Addiction Follow Up

Addiction is a chronic brain disorder and not simply a behavior problem involving alcohol, drugs, gambling or sex, experts contend in a new definition of addiction, one that is not solely related to problematic substance abuse.

The American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM) just released this new definition of addiction after a four-year process involving more than 80 experts.

.."At its core, addiction isn't just a social problem or a moral problem or a criminal problem. It's a brain problem whose behaviors manifest in all these other areas," said Dr. Michael Miller, past president of ASAM who oversaw the development of the new definition. "Many behaviors driven by addiction are real problems and sometimes criminal acts. But the disease is about brains, not drugs. It's about underlying neurology, not outward actions."

The new definition also describes addiction as a primary disease, meaning that it's not the result of other causes, such as emotional or psychiatric problems. And like cardiovascular disease and diabetes, addiction is recognized as a chronic disease; so it must be treated, managed and monitored over a person's lifetime, the researchers say.

Two decades of advancements in neuroscience convinced ASAM officials that addiction should be redefined by what's going on in the brain. For instance, research has shown that addiction affects the brain's reward circuitry, such that memories of previous experiences with food, sex, alcohol and other drugs trigger cravings and more addictive behaviors. Brain circuitry that governs impulse control and judgment is also altered in the brains of addicts, resulting in the nonsensical pursuit of "rewards," such as alcohol and other drugs.

A long-standing debate has roiled over whether addicts have a choice over their behaviors, said Dr. Raju Hajela, former president of the Canadian Society of Addiction Medicine and chair of the ASAM committee on addiction's new definition.

"The disease creates distortions in thinking, feelings and perceptions, which drive people to behave in ways that are not understandable to others around them," Hajela said in a statement. "Simply put, addiction is not a choice. Addictive behaviors are a manifestation of the disease, not a cause."

.Even so, Hajela pointed out, choice does play a role in getting help.

"Because there is no pill which alone can cure addiction, choosing recovery over unhealthy behaviors is necessary," Hajela said.

This "choosing recovery" is akin to people with heart disease who may not choose the underlying genetic causes of their heart problems but do need to choose to eat healthier or begin exercising, in addition to medical or surgical interventions, the researchers said.

"So, we have to stop moralizing, blaming, controlling or smirking at the person with the disease of addiction, and start creating opportunities for individuals and families to get help and providing assistance in choosing proper treatment," Miller said.

Interesting, no?

Food Addiction

There are times when I wonder if the food I crave is really the food I'm addicted to.  Ever wonder the same thing?

First Minnesota Food Addiction Treatment Center Opens

The "COR" program uses the Twelve-Step principles of Alcoholics Anonymous to help people beat their addiction to processed sugars and food additives.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, nearly one-fourth of Minnesota's adult population is obese. Burt Nordstrand and Michelle Goldenberger founded and run the new "COR" program as a non-profit agency with volunteers.

It opened this week and offers week-long treatment programs based on the Twelve-Steps of A.A.

COR is a 5 day retreat to help understand addiction and how to overcome it.  It's based on the other models of addiction and how to overcome it.  There's mediation, group work, individual work, study groups, support groups, homework...  $650. 

So what do you think?  Part of me thinks that it would be information beneficial to anyone on a healthiness journey.  Part of me thinks that all the information is there for me on the Internet and in blogs and in books for much less money.  Part of me thinks that I'm not an addict, but isn't that what every addict thinks?

I wanna do a 5K and get sparked

Ever since I met Ann last fall at the Prior Fat Girl event, I've been thinking about a 5K.  Strike that, I've been fascinated about a 5K.

My family used to do the Susan Komen Mother's Day walks and would do the 1K family walk.  I was always fascinated with the people in the other races.  Awed really.  How could they do that?  Why would they want to run like that?  I could never do that. 

When I started at the gym almost 2 years ago, I was again awed by the people who would hop on that treadmill and go.  Go at at 5, 6 or 7 for 45 minutes.  In fact there was one woman who would be there when the doors opened at 5am and rung at an 8 for an hour with several layers of clothes on, hats and weights in her hands. 

Still I'm fascinated by the 5K.  I want to feel what it's like.  The distance, the weather, the ground beneath me, the surroundings, the other runners...  My guess is that the fascination will last the first 1K and then it will change to, "Why the hell did I decide to do this?"  I'm hoping that it will spark something in me to 'train' for it.  I'm hoping that it will spark something in me to continue training for other ones.  I'm hoping that it will spark something that makes me want to better a time.

I want to do a 5K and get sparked.