Thursday, August 18, 2011

I'm hiding

I'm hiding lately.  Have you noticed?

I'm hiding from working out, from counting calories, from losing weight.  And rather than rant on and on about it, or bemoan my inability to follow through or any of it...I'm hiding.  I'm still posting, but not about me. 

I'm good at hiding.  I've done it for years.  I can blend into the background with the best of them.  I was (am?) that person that would be at a party and the next day talk to someone who had no idea I was there.  I am the person that keeps all the feelings inside until they explode out of me in ways that are not healthy and sometimes hurtful to others.  I am the person who can pretend that it's all good on the outside as the inside is screaming.

To be honest, I didn't realize I was hiding until I looked back a the titles of the posts here.  For the last 24 hours I've thought and thought and thought some more about why I'm hiding.  I think I know.  I think I'm to the point of talking it through.  I just need to talk to Pete about it first.

So until I can talk and then talk to you, I'm still hiding.  I'm here.  Just hiding.

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