Wednesday, August 07, 2013

197.4; Dear People Who've Noticed Me...

A friend of mine writes this blog:  My Eclectic Mess.  She's funny, sarcastic, but honest.

Last week she wrote this post:Dear Men Who Just Noticed Me Since I Lost Weight...  Go read it.  I'll wait here.

Did you read it?  By the end of it were you saying, "Yes.  Yes!" ?

I was.  I've talked before about how it's weird to have men notice me now.  How opening a door seems like so much more than just a door.  Before it felt like men did it out of sympathy or because someone else was around.  Now it happens much more frequently and I see them checking me out while they do it.  I've talked about how strangers are nicer to me by offering advice in stores, both men and women.  Before I could have stared at that shelf of light bulbs forever, now I have 3 staff and one customer giving me suggestions. 

At times I want to yell to these people, "Why didn't you show me the same attention when I was overweight?  I was still a consumer; still a PERSON."  I mean, talk about screwing with not only your body image, but your head!  It's as though the world is telling me that I'm a more interesting person, the thinner I get.  And despite trying to ignore it, this is reinforced publicly about once a week.

It's frustrating.  I'm still the same person I was when I was overweight.  Mostly.  The only thing that's changed, is that I force myself to engage these people now when they do this.  Whereas before, I would have shied away, lowered my head and left as soon as possible.

When Beth posted her blog last week I posted this on Facebook: 
The thing is, Pete loved me when I was overweight and I loved him likewise.  Pete supported me while I lost weight, and I supported him likewise.  Pete loves me and pays attention to me now that I'm skinny(er), and I do the same to him.  I am thankful EVERYDAY that I found a man who loves me for me.  Part of my vows to him included that he loved me for me as I am, not who I was or who I may become.  He loves me for me, here and now.

I appreciate being noticed every once and a while.  Let's be honest, it's sometimes a boost to your confidence to feel noticed.  However, most times, I don't know how to handle these situations because I spent 30 years trying to be invisible and I have no practice at it.  I leave the situation, a bit unsure of myself and how I handled it because I don't ant to encourage men; I love Pete and only Pete. 

Have you noticed people treating you differently as you lost weight?  How do you deal with it?

Weigh In Wedneday

It's weigh in Wednesday!  Go check out some new blogs for some new inspiration on your journey!


  1. I am glad Tim & I have been together through thick & thin as well. It really proves to me what I already knew - He truly loves me and I love him more everyday. Great post & thanks for linking up!

  2. I haven't noticed that I'm treated any differently yet.

    Just smile and say thanks continuing on your business. If they persist, then say you're happily married. If they still continue then RUN.