Tuesday, July 02, 2013

194; Anxiety

I'm running on anxiety lately. It pops up when I least expect. Yesterday I visited with my parents after work. My Dad gave me a wonderful gesture of support and we both teared up. Then my anxiety flared. 

I had someone question me about the anxiety. If I'm so anxious, is this really what I should be doing?  It's a question that I ask myself often. Do I really need to do this drastic surgery?  

I look at it logically. If I didn't, I'd need to still have some surgery of sort to figure out if it was cancer. If it was, I'd be in this same spot where I am now, on to this drastic surgery. If it was negative/not cancer, then I have 2 divots in my right breast showing the surgeries. And I'm up for an MRI/mammogram every 6 months with a decision to take a low dose chemotherapy drug for the next 5+ years and all the side effects that come with that. 

So is this surgery really what I should be doing?  

Yes. Resounding yes. It's my best option. 

But this is the deal...it's a large, drastic, life altering surgery. And with that comes huge emotions and worries and uncertainty. So the anxiety?  It's somewhat to be expected, don't you think?   

1 comment:

  1. I think of you often. I am praying for you. I can't imagine.