1. Truth: I thought that having a surgery date would relieve some of my anxiety and stress. It didn't. I had a full out anxiety attack, cried for an hour and then crashed asleep for 2 hours.
2. Truth: I still wonder why I am doing this to myself. I know. I know! It needs to be done, right? But why am I doing this to myself?
3. Truth: I had put the whole Cancer word out of my head, but one of he surgeons reminded me that if the area that is suspect (and started this whole process) is found to be cancerous, I'll be sent to an oncologist and likely some additional treatment.
4: Truth: Despite having Pete and my Mom and coworkers and friends far and wide, I still feel all alone. I am in island of one lately and it's as if I'm searching the island frantically to find someone like me who I can talk to.
5: Truth: I want to run away. I want to pretend this isn't my life any more. I want to go back to April 17th where I was blissfully unaware of all this and the twists and turns my life has taken on.