Thursday, April 05, 2012

210.6; Those Feelings Revisted

Last Friday I talked about how Pete said I wasn't happy with my weight loss.  I promised to think about it more.  To be honest I don't know that I actively thought about it all weekend.  Saturday I exhausted myself shopping all day.  I thought it would be fun to use my coupons for some things in my new size.  I ended up with a couple of shirts, a dress and sheer frustration over every. single. pair. of. pants. I. tried. on.  I'm still in about 3 different sizes depending on the store, the cut and about 12 ballion other things. 

It's hard for me to realize that I wear a size large shirt, not a 2X.  It's even harder to realize that my booty WILL fit in those size 16 pants.  It's a strange realization and  I need to get used to going to those smaller sizes.  I wear 3/4 sleeve cardigans a lot to work.  My office is usually cool, even in the summer.  I have 3 black ones.  This week I bought a white one.  Something that seemed to go against the fat girl's guide to dressing, or so I thought.

New size LARGE! shirt and size LARGE! WHITE! cardigan!

I spent Saturday evening very tired and frustrated.  I remembered what I had heard Melissa from My 600 Pound Life say.  She had lost about 140 pounds, but wanted it to go fast.  She needed to slow down and let it happen.

I realized the following on Monday:
  • I'm scared of losing too fast and having wobbly hanging skin.
  • I want to lose faster so I can fit into those lower sizes.
  • I'm not happy with my weight loss unless I add fitness into my plan.
Quite the contradiction, aren't I?  But really I can tie them together all nicely by what Melissa said above.  I need to just stick with my plan.  I need to develop a plan for life, one that I can stick to.  Isn't that the whole point of losing weight in the first place?  Developing a healthy lifestyle?  Making a plan that I know that I can stick to?

So what's my plan?  Good question.  I had a plan for pre-surgery, but really haven't sat down and thought about my plan for after surgery.  I guess this is my prompt to do just that.

Guess what?  I nominated myself to be a PriorFatGirl blogger.  My nomination post went live yesterday and later there will be voting.  I don't take this lightly.  It's a decision that I've thought about for countless hours.  What you say to the Internet has ramifications, both good and bad.  You can have an effect on people that is both good and bad.  I'm hoping that sharing my struggles and gains, I can inspire others, just like Jen did for me when I started reading her.  So if you're reading this and you have a moment to spare, go check out the nominees and vote for someone!

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