The Unintended Results

Progress to surgery:

I have 1 phone call through my insurance to complete and about 4-5 pounds to lose.  Once those two things occur, I can schedule surgery.

As I was talking with the nurse from the insurance company yesterday I realized that going through this process has brought some unintended results.  The biggest one is that I am more aware of why I might be eating something.

I pretty much read her my blog post from yesterday.  When I did it, I realized that I do it more often than I thought and that it might be starting to become routine.  For example, Sunday I went to the grocery store to pick up some things for dinner.  And as I rolled my cart past the produce I decided that I needed cake.  It was a long weekend and I struggled through some feelings and awkward situations.  I didn't eat in those situations and I was proud of that.  But for some reason I decided, while standing next to the bananas and the mangoes, that I needed cake.  Oh, I DO remember why I decided this.  Pete and I had been to a birthday party the night before and we had to leave before cake was served.  So see, I needed cake.

But not really.  I left the bananas and the mangoes and headed to the bakery.  When I got to the cake cooler I stopped the cart and looked.  There were sheet cakes, cupcakes, slices of cake.  White cake, chocolate cake, brownies, marbled cake, white frosting, chocolate frosting...red velvet with cream cheese.  I must have circled that cake cooler about 4 times.  Each time deciding that I'd get something, then telling myself that I get something else.  Finally I stopped and said to myself, "I don't REALLY need cake." and I left.

I never gave it a second thought.  I really thought about the cake.  Why I wanted the cake.  And in the end I had decided that I did not need cake to survive.  I went home and make lower calorie chicken enchiladas and ate dinner with Pete when he got home.  No cake needed.

I'm liking that I think before I eat.  Maybe I'll never get to the point where food isn't an issue, but I'm gaining knowledge to help me be more successful.