Bariatric Surgery Information Session

I walked in the hospital last night with anxiety.  Not wanting to be there, but wanting to be there.  I found the room and checked in to get my paperwork.  I walked in the room and it hit me that this was me I was here for.  Me.  Not Pete.

I looked around as if to size myself up against the others in the room.  I'm not going to lie.  I felt small.  I was one of the thinnest, if not the thinnest person there.  I had a moment of wonder; wondering if I really needed this.  Then I started filling out paperwork.  They asked many health questions.  However, when I got the point about my weight and the diets and weight management programs that I've tried, I was reminded that this was something that I needed to do.  It was clear. 

My heaviest?  I found a picture of myself in 2000 at Christmas time.  My face is very full and from looking at my face now, both Pete and I think that I was around 275.  I was a solid size 24 pants and I remember buying them, thinking that I really needed new pants and wondering if the store I shopped at regularly had changed the fit of the pants because I needed such a large size.  I thought that my short hair fit my face well, but it only served to further fill out a full face.  I thought I looked good. 

Looking back, I remember that I never stepped on a scale.  Seriously.  I don't remember being on a scale (other than the doctor's office) until I lived with Pete.  Oh I'm sure that I randomly weighed myself on my Grandma's scale when I lived with her or was at her house.  But the point is that I don't remember doing it.  I knew I was big, but didn't think that I was THAT big.  And I wasn't interested in numbers.  I was defeated at that time, thinking there was no way I could lose weight and I was just meant to be that large.

I now know that I had a strange body image in thinking that I was smaller than I really was.  I know now that there are things that I can do to lose weight.  I know that exercise is important.  I have lots more tools at hand to help me.  But I really do need this additional tool to get me past my roadblock of the last couple years.

So my next step is meeting with the nurse.  I go in on 9/12/11 with my health history and some notes from my general doctor and see if I qualify for this.  If I do, I would start the same process that Pete went through earlier this year.