I currently have 2 packages of red licorice (one home and one at work), 1 package of mini Reese's PB Cups (home) and 1 package of PB M&Ms (work) in my possession. As you can see I really set myself up nicely, huh? Wanna know something else? I have 1.5 bottles of Sprite (which I really dislike) in my fridge at home with prepared frozen limeade. And let's not forget the package of low fat Chocolate Chex Mix that I ate in 2 days.
And as I picked M&M's out of my work bag yesterday to put them back in the package safely, I realized that I had really self sabotaged myself. I went out an purchased things that were comforting for situations where I felt I'd be bored or uncomfortable. I purchased junk because I thought I deserved it for some reason that I now cannot remember. No wonder when I weighed myself Saturday morning it said 240 (although, it is my up time of the month also).
I thought about it long and hard on my way home. Then I made a meal of grilled hamburgers and grill fries. No junk, but not as healthy as it could be. But I just couldn't leave well enough alone because I made strawberry shortcake for dessert.
And my honest admission is that I didn't get up to go to the gym this morning.
Basically I'm saying that I suck. I suck big time in the journey that I started.
I'm frustrated. I can't seem to get back on track with working out. I can't seem to get my eating back to what it was. I cannot journal to save my life. And the thought of tracking food again seems overwhelming. I'm upset that my weight is not going down. Yet, I can't or won't do something about it. And I can't figure out why. I think I have some answers, but really I know nothing other than I like to eat and dislike working out. I can't decide if I need a break where I don't worry about working out and eating and then get back to it or if I just need to make myself do it and struggle through whatever it is that is disrupting my journey.
I need help and I don't know where to go for it.