I had insomnia the other night again. And as my mind wandered around I started to wonder if I was OCD enough to lose weight. Or does it take some OCD to be able to successfully lose weight? And if it does, how does this play into finding a solution that will last me the rest of my life? A sustainable lifetime of healthiness.
Let me qualify that I don't think Pete is OCD about everything. I don't think that he needs meds or anything like that. But he, like me, has certain issues. (don't we all?) He must have all the garbage out on garbage day. Even if that means dumping out the 10 cough drops from the bag onto my nightstand so that the bag can be tossed. Or if that means unrolling the 20 paper towels from the roll so that the roll can be tossed and the towels lay on the counter. My thing is that the sheets must be tucked in and tight so they don't bunch around my feet at night. Weird, yes. OCD? Maybe.
The more that I thought about Pete's weight loss in the last few months the more I thought it was like OCD. He eats the same thing for breakfast and lunch every day (most every day). He exercises until he burns 1000 calories. He lifts weights a certain amount. But he loses the weight. But it's not sustainable.
Then I think about other bloggers that I read about who have schedules and count calories and limit foods and must workout and, and, and...and I wonder, does successfully losing weight mean that you are very OCD about calories and exercise to the point that it takes over your life for the rest of your life? And do I have that in me? Because I've been at the same 10 pound range for 8-9 months. I can't get over the hump. Some of it is illness, but is the rest me resisting? Knowing that if I take this on fully it means the end of my life as it is? If I do this and succeed will I be forever watching my calories and forever scheduling workouts? Will I ever be normal? Or is normal that OCD person and I just never knew it because I was overweight? Is that how "normal" people have been living all their lives?