Thursday, October 30, 2008

I told my mom that I love her

And while most people would say something along the lines of what's so special about that? It was really out of character.

Pete had oral surgery Monday and my mom and sister have been calling daily to see how he is doing. Really nice of them and I think Pete is loving this. Tuesday night I was on the PC trying to snyc Pete's iPhone, on Costco trying to upload pictures, Pete was trying to get me to listen to the TV and I was talking to my Mom. All at once. Can you say multi-tasking?

Anyway, at the end of the conversation I said "I love you." I think I did it because I'm so very used to saying it to Pete at the end of our conversations. She was startled, but replied in kind and then sat there for a moment. Then asid goodbye and hung up.

As I thought about it I realized that since I met and fell in love with Pete things like I love you and pet names come much easier to me. I wonder why that is. Honestly I called my sister honey one day and she stared at me. It's just that my family doesn't do I love yous or pet names. I can't honestly rememeber my parents telling me that they loved me as a child. I'm sure that they did, I just have no memory of it. I know that as an adult there have been medical issues that caused one of us to express our love, but never just out of the blue. While my Grandma always says I love you and I always say it back.

This is not to say that I don't love my parents. I do. I really do. However, our relationship isn't the kind that expresses love or calls each other little names.

When I told my sister this she remarked that it was sad that we don't do that. I agreed. She said that she hoped her children would feel comfortable saying it. And I told her that it seems to be that if the parent makes the effort to say it to the child as a child and keeps doing it, the child will go with it. Not to say that the child doesn't love the parent & is just repeating words. I think it's something where the child needs to know that it's an "ok" thing in their relationship to say. The child needs to feel comfortable doing it.

And I wonder how it all impacts my relationship with my parents - this not saying I love you.

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