Less than 6 months!

Yikes! My little countdown timer is less than 6 months. Which makes me excited, but thenI look at that list of things to do and that I need to do and I panic a little. A little.

I think I found it. You know, I.T. The dress. The one tha you slip on and instantly it feels like you. the one that you look at and smile inwardly and outwardly. The one that feels good and makes you feel like a princess, even if only a little. The one that hides your flaws and accentuates your perfect parts. IT. I'm going back to the store tonight (long story) to try it on.

Oh, you want to hear the story? Ok...so Kim graciously agrees to take a half day off of work to come with me to try on dresses. Also so that she can choose a dress that she likes and makes her feel good. Although I was dumb and forgot to make an appointment at the 2 places that we planned on going. When we got to the little shop, I was told that I would need an appointment absolutely. So I made one for the following morning and we went to david's Bridal. I tried some on and there was one that was like a Greek Goddess gown that looked really good on me and I felt reaaly good it in. But I was waiting for that magical moment that said, this is IT! And it never came. So the next morning I go back to the little shop by myself to try on a huge line of dresses. The first one. It just felt magical. And I love it.

Address Labels
My new obsession. Don't ask me why, but I picked up some thank you cards at Target that match the colors in the wedding and are cute. Then I decided that we, or rather I, needed address labels for the thank yous and other things that would be sent out. I think I've decided on these: Stacy Clair Boyd from InvitationBox . They're graphic & match the colors of the wedding.

Keep praying for Pete's Dad. He's been in the hospital for almost a month. He gets better then has a setback and we're hoping that he is on the mend now and on track to come home soon.

My birthday week is redeemed

Long time no write. I have been busy at home and at work. Really busy. But I think I'm caught up for the moment so that I can update me life here.

For the first time in several years my birthday week did not suck. I had a nice week and a good birthday. We went to our favorite German restaurant with my family and had great food. I got some cash form my family and from Pete? Well I got the 101 Dalmations re-release in cartoon and the Monster Truck Wii game that we have been coveting! I love it. Alison was so cute at the restaurant. She had everyone write their name and age on their placemats and hold them up so everyone at the table could see. She is writing so well!

Wedding planning is still going strong. I have a pink binder with ideas, lists and things to do. Pete laughs at me, but I need something to keep me in the know. Tomorrow Kim and I are going to look at dresses for us. I'm EXCITED!

Dear Pete,

I can't tell you how much I appreciate you. When I burned my hand this weekend you made it better. You ran to the store for medicine, you helped me figure out what made it feel better. You slept with the fan on all night so it would cool my hand.

Please don't worry so much about what happens in the future. I know from experience that you need to live today and the future will happen. I love that you worry about your family and only want the best for them. It makes me sad to know that it keeps you up at night.

I love you.

Love Michelle

Wedding site...check!

So I called today about the wedding site. It's booked! All I have to do is fill out the form and send it back in with the deposit. SCAREY! Not scarey that I'm getting married, scarey that this makes it all real! I have the first of what I'm sure will be many butterflies. And before anyone things otherwise, it's not about getting married. It's that I'm really indecisive and making big decisions gives me butterflies.

So I've called about the site.
I've asked my sister to be my matron of honor.
I've asked my sister to go shopping with me for dresses.
And I've talked with my sister about the colors, the flowers, the food...
Anyone else see a pattern here?

*giggle*

What a weekend.

I know that it's Thursday and we're headed into a new weekend, but last weekend was killer.

I spent the weekend in tooth pain. That nagging throbbing hurt all the time. And to make matters worse, I tried to hold my mouth a certain way and it made my TMJ flare badly. Monday I had myself worked into a huge anxiety attack for myroot canal. I would have so liked Pete there, but he needed to be with his Dad and it's not like he can go back into the room with me. So off I went, in full anxiety. The proceedure was done in a little over an hour. Only it was a whole hour that I was holding my mouth open. I'm still having headaches today from it and I guess it will be like that for a while. Next I need to get in for a crown. I dread another appointment.

Pete's Dad had a staph infection. He was placed in a room by himself and they treated him for it. He's now in a different room with roommates so I guess the infection is clear. He still has pneumonia. Until that is clear and he is on less than 10 for oxygen, he can't go home. The doctors told Pete's sister that their Dad won't survive another incident like this. His body is failing. If he ends up in the hospital again, most likely they will have to intubate and he would likely never come off that. Pete doesn't really know what to do or think. Last night he couldn't sleep and spent a lot of time thinking.

Then Sunday night I steam burned all the fingers on my left hand. Let me tell you, I would much rather have a normal blister burn from touching something than this steam burn. I did it at 6pm and it hurt worse than when I did it when I fell asleep about midnight. I was putting ice on it, which is a no-no apparently. The only way I could stand the pain is by putting a litocaine creme from the store on them thickly and then putting a slow fan on them to cool the area down. Today the pinky finger is good. The index finger is a little sore and a tiny bit red. The middle & ring fingers are bright red fromt he tip to the 2nd knucle. They are numb on the surface and starting to bubble a bit.

But that is the recap of the bad weekend. I'm looking forward to a slower, more normal weekend.

Good thoughts please

So yesterday wasn't a very good day.

I've had a tooth that the dentist has been watching for quite some time. It's had a crack in it that wasn't getting bigger and seemed stable. In my mouth, that's a good thing and we leave well enough alone when we can. In the last 6 months or so I'd chew on it wrong and it would hurt for a few hours, but nothing that lasted. At some point I stopped chewing on that side. Over the weekend, I accidentially chewed on it and something happened. The pain came and never really went away. I lived with it until Wednesday morning when I called the dentist. Unfortunately they were closed for the day for trainings. Yesterday I had an early appointment, but it kept getting moved back for other emergencies.

When I got to the office, all apprehensive, I met with a different dentist than mine. He said that the tooth is cracked enought to let in bateria that has now reached my root. Meaning I need a root canal. He suggested that if it happened in the future (the cracking) to have my dentist put a crown on it. Anyway, I am freaking out about the root canal. I'm not sure they can get in there to do it. Honestly. I don't think they will. And if they actually do, then my mouth is going to be very very painful for a long time. I am dreading this.

No sooner did I get home from the dentist when Pete said that his Dad was back in the hospital. Turns out he has pneumonia. He may have had it for quite some time, just undiagnosed. I am so sad for Pete. He seemed unsure of what to do last night, which is so unlike him. The doctor also said that his lungs are at the point of barely sustaining him. If his o2 levels don't stay up, he won't be able to go back home as he'll need constant high levels of o2. Keep them both in your prayers.

My Dad called...

My Dad called yeterday. He actually called home and when I didn't answer he called my cell. Now you have to realize that my parents rarely call my cell. Anyway, he called my cell and left a message. In in he made a point of saying that my Mom wasn't home yet so give him a call. Then he said that he didn't know if my Mom had called to let me know that they would be at my birthday dinner or not, but he was calling to let me know that they would. Then he went on to say that he found a pistol that he actually likes & wants to buy. He was excited to turn in his paperwork.

Listening to the message, I tried to decipher what it meant. I mean, that's what we do right? Words don't always just mean what they mean. Sometimes there is meaning behind the word or sentence, almost like a special code or clue. Actually I listened to it several times. I took away from it that he wanted to talk to me when my Mom wasn't there. Something that I've often thought of doing myself, but never have. I think that the gun talk is his way of starting the process to reconnect with me and with Pete. Afterall, shooting is something we three did together and talked about a lot.

I think it's a step in the right direction.

I talked to Pete about it last night. I tried to explain that my family works differently than his. That I can't tell him what to do. Although I'd like it if things weren't made worse by fighting. In the end I suggested that he take my Dad aside and discuss calmly what happened and ask him how he feels about him. I also told him he would have to be the one to bring it up as my Dad would likely just go past it without addressing it.

I am hopeful.