My Wishes

Lately I've been thinking about what I have a house. Honestly I don't know why I've been thinking that. The townhouse we're in is where we're going to be at for a while. It's valued at about 65% of what I paid for it 4 years ago so we're upside down for now.

Maybe it's spring with all the things blooming around me. Or maybe it's Reese Dixon and reading about the house she was leaving and the house she went to. Or maybe it's because I've been reading about the things that The Pioneer Woman has been buying and planting. Or maybe it's because I just long for a space that I can call my own to mold into what I want.

I know that I want to plant some Lily of the Valley by my fictious house. I love the smell of them this time of the year. Actually I love the smell anytime. My parents have some in front of their house and they've tried to get rid of them several times and they slowly find their way back to life. They also had ferns in the planting beds and although they wanted those at one time, they now don't and can't get rid of those either. I can't help loving the smell and the delicate nature of the lily of the valley.







I know that I want a flowering crab apple tree in my yard. Several of them in fact. I love the beautiful blooms this time of year. She shockingly pink blooms against the blue of the spring skies. My Grandma had one in the side yard for years. Beautiful pink blooms that when they fell, you'd swear it was snowing pink. I spent many Mother's Day gatherings at her house in the backyard looking at that tree.





I know that I want a hedge of lilacs in my backyard. Have you ever looked at the individual lilac blossom? It's 4 petals and they are so dainty and perfect and so...lilac colored. I have always loved the smell of the lilac and even tried to get my parents to give up some of their bushes for my old house. About 2 years ago Pete and I were walking at Centennial Lakes and I pulled off some individual blossoms and commented how pretty they were.



What else do I want? I know that I want a large kitchen and a bathroom big enough for Pete and I. I want a garage for all the toys and a sunporch or deck to sit out on in summer evenings. Pete? He considers a house a "good house" if you can walk naked in your backyard without neighbors seeing you and getting upset. That's his definition of a great house.

Obsession

I can see how people become obsessive. I've mentioned previously about how I 'worry' my rings. I pull them off and on my finger to see how easily they go off and on again to judge where I am in my weight loss. I slide my watch on and off to do the same thing. The feeling that I get when those things come off easily and slide easily back on is addictive. It's addictive that I do it probably 30 times a day.

In the last couple of weeks I haven't been working out regularly. Life, as they say, has gotten in the way.

I've become even more addicted to my rings and my watch. I listen to people talk and slide them. I watch TV and slide them. I read something on my computer and slide them. I wonder what others think?

The watch? It's gotten tighter. I can't slidfe it off as easily as I could a week ago. The rings? They still slide easily. In fact, if I'm cold and I put my hands in water, my rings are in danger of sliding off themselves.

But I can see how people become obsessive about it all.

the bump

Ok, I know that when you look at this picture, it doesn't seem like much. But it hurts. :(

The scar in the middle of the bump is about 1 inch top to bottom. The white line was red and raised a few milimeters to the touch. The bump is about 1 inch wide from edge to edge and top to bottom. It's raised about 1/4-1/2 inch from my chest.

I got a referral to the plastic surgeon on Thursday. I need this thing out.

On hold

I feel like I'm on hold lately. I had great momentum in February and March with working out and eating. In the last couple of weeks I feel like I'm on hold. It's making me nervous. I don't want to lose momentum with working out. I don't want to lose the push to get to the gym and do it.

My cyst is pulled so tight that I can't do much of anything. I finally found a plastic surgeon who can see me on Thursday. I'm hoping that I can get the thing taken out soon and get back at it.

HI/Low

Did you ever play that game as a kid? What was your one/two/three high points of the day and the same for the low points. I learned about it as an adult. I suppose that in a round about way we did this at the dinner table each night with my parents, it just wasn't structured the same.

At any rate, here I go:

Weekend Low Points: 1. Migraine. The imitrex only made me feel worse. So much worse that at this point, I'd rather suffer with the migraine. 2. My sebaceous cyst (warning, pictures on the link) is back. It's located on my breastbone. I had it taken out 2 years ago and the result was one raised, red, hard scar about 1 inch in length. I massaged the heck out of that scar, but the surgeon just did a really bad job on it and nothing I did made it go away. I wanted to have a plastic surgeon look at it and I guess now I'll get my chance. It's about the size of a marble currently. And not only is it pressing on my breastbone, but it's pressing out against the skin, pulling the scar flat and hurting the skin. It's making it impossible to lift weights will my arms and walking/running/elliptical is difficult because it hurts to breath fast.

Weekend High Points: 1. I fit into my pants, tops, motorcycle jackets and chaps that I bought when Pete bought his bike 2 years ago. It's a relief to be able to wear those things. It's a boost to keep doing what I'm doing. And frankly, I just feel better about myself. 2. Pete decided on Friday that we should take all 4 nieces/nephews to the MOA and Nick Universe on Saturday. So we did. They were wonderful! And we all had fun. My niece Alison is such a little daredevil - just like her mom at that age. She went on all the big rollercoasters with Pete and LOVED them all!

Grant on the left, Matthew walking a little ahead of him, Pete and Allie. Alison must be running ahead of Pete.

Alison, Grant and Allie on the Thomas the Train ride. Grant is OBSESSED with Thomas and wanted to go up front and say hi to him. The ride girl had to shepard him back to the cars to get on.

I know it's not the best picture, but look at the smiles! You can tell they all had find on this ride, no matter their ages. Matthew, Allie, Alison & Grant.

And finally, because I actually like the picture that Alison took of me...Me.