4:30: Pete's alarm goes off. I think I woke up. I mean, I might have woke up. Or maybe not.
4:40: My alarm goes off. I think I woke up. I mean, the only reason I know I woke up is because my phone was laying on my pillow the next time I work up and the cord was stretched across my neck.
4:45: I woke up, checked the time and rolled over. I am not going to the gym. I just got to sleep about 4.5 hours ago. This is nuts!
4:47: I woke up to a wet tongue in my ear and it wasn't Pete, it was the schnauzer. No way I'm going to the gym. Leave me alone dog and everyone go back to sleep.
4:48: I woke up and rolled back over. Should I go to the gym? Crazy talk.
4:49: Rolled back over and felt for Pete. Yep, he's still sleeping so I can sleep too. Ahhhhhhh.
4:50: Wait. I only went to the gym once last week. Had the same feeling on Tuesday morning that I do now and never went back. I'm a quitter. A one day a weeker. I can't do this.
4:51: Hey, what if you just do it? I mean what harm is there really in just getting up, getting dressed and going? What can I lose?
4:52: Fine. I'll go, but I don't like it.
4:53: Jump out of bed. Wet my random stick up hairs down, get dressed.
4:54: Run downstairs & let the dog out. Bring the dog back up to bed with Pete. Ahhh BED! No, gym.
4:54: Grab banana, water bottle, keys, gym card and phone.
5:11: Arrive at gym and proudly walk in. See you can do this!
5:12: Realize I forgot my water bottle in the car. I should get it. No, they have water up there, just go and get going!
5:13: Get on treadmill. Start moving.
5:22: Accidentally hit "cool down" on the new treadmill that I'm not used to and stop the thing. I should just give up. NO! Stick with it. Press start.
5:23: Pressed start. Feeling good.
5:30-5:45: Actually do intervals of jogging and walking. Feet hurt, but I'm not giving up now.
5:46: Walk out of the gym with 375 less calories, 30 minutes of accomplishment and a smile.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
Do you believe in your body?
Last week I went to see the dietitian at the surgery center. I spent an hour talking with her about eating. As it turns out, I know much of what I need to know. I know to keep portions small, eat balanced diet with all the food groups, low fat, protein first... In essence, I have a good base to start out with. Then we talked about what I need to do in the time that I have prior to the surgery. She explained and gave me a 1200 calorie a day meal plan. 1200 calories. When you think about it, 1200 calories is sufficient to live. And there are many days that I eat around 1200 calories. However, it's not always a balanced 1200 calorie day. And example of the plan is that for lunch I would get 1 ounce of lean protein, 1 cup of green beans, 1 ounce of cheese, 1/2 banana and water.
1 ounce of protein. It's not much. About the size of half of a small deck of cards.
I walked away from that appointment and gave the meal plan a try for 2 days. Eating that way only got me to about 600 calories the first day and 800 calories the second. That's not even enough to sustain me. I was hungry All.The.Time. And while I need to lose weight and limit my calories, I also don't want my body in starvation mode, clinging to every calorie I consume.
So I went back to eating the way that I was eating before. Clean eating with the fewest amount of processed foods I can. Lean protein at about 4-5 ounces for lunch & dinner. Lots of fresh veggies at lunch & dinner. Lower carbs, but whole grain or multigrain carbs. Lots of water (75-100 oz). When going out to eat, make healthier choices, halve your portions and limit sweets/alcohol.
I didn't work out this weekend, but I stayed busy the entire time. Wrapping presents, running to and from stores, walking with Pete. We went out to eat twice. The first time I shared an entree with Pete - sirloin with mixed veggies of zucchini, squash, carrot, onion and peppers and mashed potatoes. Prior to the meal I ordered a salad with no dressing. The salad filled me up and I ate less of the meal and when I did I concentrated on the veggies and the meat. The second time we went out to an Italian place for my Mom's birthday. Again I had a salad of beats and arugula and that helped to fill me up first. Then I ordered a half portion of pasta and ate about 3/4 of it. I still felt indulgent both times, but made better choices.
This morning I got up at 4:30 am to get ready to hit the gym when it opened at 5 am. I weighed 231. This is the lowest I've been since high school/college. And I don't feel like I've done anything different in the last 2 weeks to lose weight. But I feel like I am starting to believe in my body. As though it knows what I have to do and is helping me along the way. I went, overjoyed, to the gym and pumped out 30 minutes on that treadmill. No stopping when my left foot started hurt, but pushing through the pain and reaching the mental goal I set. And again my body got me through it.
I believe in my body.
1 ounce of protein. It's not much. About the size of half of a small deck of cards.
I walked away from that appointment and gave the meal plan a try for 2 days. Eating that way only got me to about 600 calories the first day and 800 calories the second. That's not even enough to sustain me. I was hungry All.The.Time. And while I need to lose weight and limit my calories, I also don't want my body in starvation mode, clinging to every calorie I consume.
So I went back to eating the way that I was eating before. Clean eating with the fewest amount of processed foods I can. Lean protein at about 4-5 ounces for lunch & dinner. Lots of fresh veggies at lunch & dinner. Lower carbs, but whole grain or multigrain carbs. Lots of water (75-100 oz). When going out to eat, make healthier choices, halve your portions and limit sweets/alcohol.
I didn't work out this weekend, but I stayed busy the entire time. Wrapping presents, running to and from stores, walking with Pete. We went out to eat twice. The first time I shared an entree with Pete - sirloin with mixed veggies of zucchini, squash, carrot, onion and peppers and mashed potatoes. Prior to the meal I ordered a salad with no dressing. The salad filled me up and I ate less of the meal and when I did I concentrated on the veggies and the meat. The second time we went out to an Italian place for my Mom's birthday. Again I had a salad of beats and arugula and that helped to fill me up first. Then I ordered a half portion of pasta and ate about 3/4 of it. I still felt indulgent both times, but made better choices.
This morning I got up at 4:30 am to get ready to hit the gym when it opened at 5 am. I weighed 231. This is the lowest I've been since high school/college. And I don't feel like I've done anything different in the last 2 weeks to lose weight. But I feel like I am starting to believe in my body. As though it knows what I have to do and is helping me along the way. I went, overjoyed, to the gym and pumped out 30 minutes on that treadmill. No stopping when my left foot started hurt, but pushing through the pain and reaching the mental goal I set. And again my body got me through it.
I believe in my body.
Monday, December 05, 2011
I did it
I had an exhausting weekend. Let's just say that my status update on Facebook read:
"So cookies made, dog washed, dog treats baked, cookies frosted, make your own pizza eaten, homemade ice cream eaten, Rango watched...and everyone's in bed. I believe Nico was out first and Grant not long behind him. Girls are quietly giggling in bed. I need to recharge too!"
Only there was no recharging for Pete or I. Grant (my 6 year old nephew) had a cough that kept him and I up and him and Pete up at times. My thoughtful wonderful husband Googled homemade cough remedies and started giving him honey when he'd start coughing, rub his back and play Enya for him to fall asleep to. Very sweet.
Sunday morning was breakfast for all the kids and games, crafts and then off to their homes. Pete and I then ran to the Mall of America to get a couple of last gifts and then to my aunts house so Pete could help with the computer issue she was having. Dinner when we got home at 6:30 and I was asleep by 8pm. TIRED.
This morning my alarm went off at 5am and Pete sweetly rubbed my cheek while the dog sat on my chest and listed my nose. I heard a voice say, "Are you coming t the gym?" Surprisingly, my voice answered, "Yes." I got up and dressed. Then searched the house for my gym card and headphones and headed out.
I spent 10 minutes on this new machine that is like a bicycle and elliptical in one and 10 minutes on the treadmill. 354 calories in 25 minutes.
I did it. I went back to the gym. The world did not stop. No one gave me the stink eye when I walked him for not going the last 3 months. No one asked where I'd been. I was welcomed as though I had been going daily and left to do my own thing as usual. Can't wait to go again.
**********
I think I screwed up with my weight. When I went to Dr. July's office in early October I was 237 there and 235 at home. When I went to see her last week the scale in the office said 240. I never weighed myself at home that day. This morning when I got on the scale it said 233. It's the lowest my body has been on that scale. So now I have no idea how much weight to lose to qualify for the surgery. I should have weighed myself that day.
"So cookies made, dog washed, dog treats baked, cookies frosted, make your own pizza eaten, homemade ice cream eaten, Rango watched...and everyone's in bed. I believe Nico was out first and Grant not long behind him. Girls are quietly giggling in bed. I need to recharge too!"
Only there was no recharging for Pete or I. Grant (my 6 year old nephew) had a cough that kept him and I up and him and Pete up at times. My thoughtful wonderful husband Googled homemade cough remedies and started giving him honey when he'd start coughing, rub his back and play Enya for him to fall asleep to. Very sweet.
Sunday morning was breakfast for all the kids and games, crafts and then off to their homes. Pete and I then ran to the Mall of America to get a couple of last gifts and then to my aunts house so Pete could help with the computer issue she was having. Dinner when we got home at 6:30 and I was asleep by 8pm. TIRED.
This morning my alarm went off at 5am and Pete sweetly rubbed my cheek while the dog sat on my chest and listed my nose. I heard a voice say, "Are you coming t the gym?" Surprisingly, my voice answered, "Yes." I got up and dressed. Then searched the house for my gym card and headphones and headed out.
I spent 10 minutes on this new machine that is like a bicycle and elliptical in one and 10 minutes on the treadmill. 354 calories in 25 minutes.
I did it. I went back to the gym. The world did not stop. No one gave me the stink eye when I walked him for not going the last 3 months. No one asked where I'd been. I was welcomed as though I had been going daily and left to do my own thing as usual. Can't wait to go again.
**********
I think I screwed up with my weight. When I went to Dr. July's office in early October I was 237 there and 235 at home. When I went to see her last week the scale in the office said 240. I never weighed myself at home that day. This morning when I got on the scale it said 233. It's the lowest my body has been on that scale. So now I have no idea how much weight to lose to qualify for the surgery. I should have weighed myself that day.
Friday, December 02, 2011
Steps to a Goal
1. (n.) goal: the result or achievement toward which effort is directed; aim; end.
These are my mini-goals or my steps to the bigger goal of losing 12 pounds by 1/1/12. I'm going into this with the understanding that I don't have to be perfect, but I have to try. I know that I'm better off when I set goals and tell people (lots of people) about them to keep me on track. I know that putting the goal information up where I can see it will help immensely. And I know that when I put my mind to something I can do it.
1. Workout Calendar: I used a planning calendar in March to get my activity in and it kept me pretty accountable. I loved seeing the results on the paper from what I had panned to do and what I actually did. I hung another one up yesterday. My goal is 4 times a week. Anything above that is like extra credit. And who doesn't like extra credit?
2. Tracking Food: This seems to be something that I have a hard time doing regularly. I feel like I'm much to "into" my phone when I had to enter all the things that I eat. And let's face it, if I don't enter them when I'm eating them, I forget. But for the next 30 days I plan on making more days of tracking than not. My goal is 1200-1500 calories a day, less than 100 grams of carbs, less than 50 grams of fat and at least 60 grams of protein.
3. Water: I'm back to drinking 75-100 ounces of water a day. It's making for frequent bathroom breaks, but that's ok.
4. Sleep: I think that I'm a better person overall when I'm not tired. I have less headaches, less stress and better days in general. So my goal is at least 6 hours of sleep at night. This is going to be a struggle when you add in the combination of the CPAP. But I'm working on it.
These are my mini-goals or my steps to the bigger goal of losing 12 pounds by 1/1/12. I'm going into this with the understanding that I don't have to be perfect, but I have to try. I know that I'm better off when I set goals and tell people (lots of people) about them to keep me on track. I know that putting the goal information up where I can see it will help immensely. And I know that when I put my mind to something I can do it.
1. Workout Calendar: I used a planning calendar in March to get my activity in and it kept me pretty accountable. I loved seeing the results on the paper from what I had panned to do and what I actually did. I hung another one up yesterday. My goal is 4 times a week. Anything above that is like extra credit. And who doesn't like extra credit?
2. Tracking Food: This seems to be something that I have a hard time doing regularly. I feel like I'm much to "into" my phone when I had to enter all the things that I eat. And let's face it, if I don't enter them when I'm eating them, I forget. But for the next 30 days I plan on making more days of tracking than not. My goal is 1200-1500 calories a day, less than 100 grams of carbs, less than 50 grams of fat and at least 60 grams of protein.
3. Water: I'm back to drinking 75-100 ounces of water a day. It's making for frequent bathroom breaks, but that's ok.
4. Sleep: I think that I'm a better person overall when I'm not tired. I have less headaches, less stress and better days in general. So my goal is at least 6 hours of sleep at night. This is going to be a struggle when you add in the combination of the CPAP. But I'm working on it.
Thursday, December 01, 2011
228
My immediate goal: 228 pounds by 1/1/12.
I met with the bariatric center yesterday. Dr. July at Unity is very nice and a no nonsense kind of person. She tells you like it is and I like that. We talked for quite some time about my progress, my apnea and weight. I realized that at my largest I likely weight somewhere between 275-285. I never want to see that again. When she asked me what my goal was in all of this I didn't hesitate. I want to be a healthy me with less joint pain, less swelling in my ankles, more energy, better about to control what I eat to keep me a healthy adult for as long as I can.
For me, this isn't about how I look right now. I understand that it's part of it and a huge part for women. But for right now I want to be healthy. I want to have energy to do things again. I want to feel good in my body.
So she qualified me for surgery. I've completed most of the process already. The last 3 things are: see the nutritionist, have a psych eval completed and lose 12 pounds.
I'm not taking this lightly. It's a huge decision and yesterday while waiting for her in the office I asked myself if this is really what I wanted to do. My answer was yes. I want to like food, but not have it control me. I feel a bit energized again. I feel a bit like I have a purpose, a goal to work for.
228.
I met with the bariatric center yesterday. Dr. July at Unity is very nice and a no nonsense kind of person. She tells you like it is and I like that. We talked for quite some time about my progress, my apnea and weight. I realized that at my largest I likely weight somewhere between 275-285. I never want to see that again. When she asked me what my goal was in all of this I didn't hesitate. I want to be a healthy me with less joint pain, less swelling in my ankles, more energy, better about to control what I eat to keep me a healthy adult for as long as I can.
For me, this isn't about how I look right now. I understand that it's part of it and a huge part for women. But for right now I want to be healthy. I want to have energy to do things again. I want to feel good in my body.
So she qualified me for surgery. I've completed most of the process already. The last 3 things are: see the nutritionist, have a psych eval completed and lose 12 pounds.
I'm not taking this lightly. It's a huge decision and yesterday while waiting for her in the office I asked myself if this is really what I wanted to do. My answer was yes. I want to like food, but not have it control me. I feel a bit energized again. I feel a bit like I have a purpose, a goal to work for.
228.
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