Wednesday, December 11, 2013

What I've Learned in 5 Months

Five months ago I was in surgery.  A long surgery that's colored every part of my life since.  I've spent a long time in the last few weeks considering the choice that I made and how my life has changed.  And while there are days I'll tell you that it was the worst thing that ever happened to me, the reality is that not all of it was negative.

1.  I learned who really cared for me in various ways.  Reality is that when someone has a life altering event, most people think about how sad it is.  Not all of those people offer to help or even support.  Some just can't and others don't want to be bothered.  I learned that I have an awesome husband who will go to the ends of the Earth for me.  I have caring co-workers who organized a lot of help.  I have friends who live no where near me, but were with me every moment of every day.

2.  I learned that I can't do it all and that's ok.  The world will not end because I didn't make my famous potato hotdish (Translation - Casserole. Remember, I'm midwestern.) for the Christmas Potluck.  It will not end because I didn't do cute little Halloweek bags for my trick or treaters.  And It will not end because the bathroom counter looks like a tornado for 3 days straight.  Family and friends will be ok not getting a Christmas card this year.

3.  I learned that I need to let my husband into my head a little bit.  That withholding my thoughts is akin to turning my back to him when I need him most and then getting mad when he doesn't help.  IO learned that out of a sad/difficult thing, cvan come a new awareness and awakening of a realitionship.  I learned that we love each other...a lot.

4.  I learned that while my brain may feel ok, my body doesn't and I need to listen to it.  I need to go slowly and have patience with myself.  That nothing goes from 1-100 without all the other 98 numbers inbetween.  I learned that even 5 months along, it's sitll ok to nap a couple of hours a day and spend time relaxing to recharge.

5.  I learned that my relationship with my family is important.  My realtionship with my Mom is at times difficult because of how different we are, but that when it comes down to it, we are similar also.  I learned that my Grandma, all 89 years of her, will help out any way she can. 

6.  I learned that I could do a better job advocating for myself.  Instead of letting myself get to the crying every day stage, I could have admitted to the plastic surgeon any number of times that I needed help.  Instead of letting Pete do my talking, I could habe been more vocal about my needs and wants and sought out a solution.

7.  I learned that I do much better when I have an action plan of how to fix things.  Whether it's validating emotions and what I know to be true around them or planning on exercising on certain days, it's a plan. 

I know that there's way more that I could list out.  But those are the big ones.  I suppose that if I posted again in July 2014 (which I'm sure to do) I'll have more things that I've learned.

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