Swirling Whirling Randomness

{191.0; 0 minutes of exercise}

This is going to be more of a free word association post.

Clearly I need to start working out.  My weight was down and now is back up.  I'm in a cycle of I can't sleep and therefore it's difficult to get up in the morning to work out.  Losing weight isn't easy and when you add other complications or issues in the difficulty is just magnified.  I'm exhausted in the mornings and afternoons but can't fall asleep.  I think it's the stress causing my body to be "ON" all the time and mentally going constantly.  By the afternoon I could sleep for a couple of hours.

I met with the geneticist yesterday with my Mom and Sister.  She calculated my risk of getting breast cancer to be 52%.  It didn't shock me, in fact, I thought it would be higher.  The new panel of genes that they can test for is very new.  And as such, they don't know a lot about the panel and what recommendations they would make if we tested positive for any of them.  If my Mom tested now, she would likely be part of the group of results who would be used to make recommendations in the future.  While testing or nor won't change my decision, my Mom really wants to know.  My Sister didn't think that she should test right now.  So we decided that if my Mom's insurance wouldn't pay for it that we would skip the test at this point and wait a year or two to see where the testing was at that time.

I have an appointment today with a plastic surgeon and one next Tuesday with another.  I'm nervous.  I believe that my decision to have this surgery is solidified by that 52%.  However, I am really unsure what type of reconstruction I want.  I think I'd feel better if I had an idea of what I wanted going into this.  But I have my notebook full of questions and hope I can get some direction.

Someone keeps calling our association about us playing out in the yard with our dog. (I told you this would be random)  We keep him on a line when he's out by himself and he can't get much further than about 2 feet off the patio to do his business.  When we're out with him, we run and play and chase in the yard.  People keep calling that he's off leash.  I'm now anxious that they're going to tell us to get rid of him or else.  The irony?  There is only one other neighbor who uses the yard we share.  One.  That one also has a dog that runs and plays and chases with ours.  The rest of the neighbors are NEVER EVER outside. 

AND, I am wearing white before Memorial Day.  Clearly this means that I am a rebel.