Monday, March 11, 2013

188.8; The Ring

In 2007 I opened a little Christmas present and found a ring.  I came to find out that Pete had been throwing in random questions for about 6 months.  Things like do I like colored jewelry or clear?  Do I like silver or gold?  Do I like squares or circles?  Do I like big jewelry or small?  Now all together, the questions are obvious, but he would throw in one every couple of weeks and mentally log the answer.

After I opened it, I asked Pete what it was and he asked me what I wanted it to be.  I asked him where I should put it on and he told me to put it on the finger I wanted it to go on.  Now I know this sounds, well, dorky and unromantic.  But you have to remember that we had dated twice before and broken up for 9 mos to a year each time.  We knew that we wanted to be together, but we had been a bit damaged by past relationships and were shy about stepping all the way again. 

So there I sat, in the living room, on the floor, with the ring in my fingers and looking at Pete and the ring.  I've never shared this before, so bare with me.  My thoughts were racing and I couldn't believe that I would be getting married.  I was happy and over the moon inside.  I looked at Pete with more love than I ever had looked at anyone else.  I was excited.

But you know what?  I also knew that the ring wouldn't fit me.  It was a 6 1/2 and I had been wearing at least a 7, mostly a 7 1/2.  My heart was flying, but my mind was racing, trying to figure out a way to make it fit and to make the day special as it was intended to be.  I delayed putting it on and likely caused Pete a heart attack.  But I couldn't think of a way to make it all work out. 

In the end, he encouraged me to put it on and smiled at me.  I couldn't deny that face, could I?  I slid that ring on my left ring finger and down to the knuckle.  It slid over the knuckle a bit tight and to the fleshy part of my finger.  I kept pushing, hoping that it would slide to the base of my finger.  To say that I was shocked when it actually fit, is a huge understatement.  It fit.  Fit.  YAY!  I'd later learn that he had tricked me with a story a few months before and had a twist tie on my ringer finger that it used to have the jeweler size it.

In September, Pete and I will have been married 5 years.  The ring is perfect.  It's everything I would have chosen and it's a daily reminder of the day we said our I DO's.  When I leave the house and it's not on, I feel naked.  I feel like I'm saying my marriage isn't important.  I know that not everyone feels that way, but I do. 

See how far up it fits on my finger?  I like my rings a bit loose so that they sit over the meaty part of my finger and not tight around them.  But at this point in my weight loss, my rings are really loose.  To the point that I can't wear them at times.  If my hands are cold they fall right off.  I've tried to get a plastic tube thing that goes over the bands in the back to make them stay on my finger, but it lasted all of 3 days before the plastic edge caught on something and came off.  I've tried using smaller sized rings that I put on after my ring to make sure it won't slide off, but the rings spin so much that the bands come apart and they're all over the place.

So what to do?  The bands are so thin that the jeweler recommends only sizing them once and when I do, I need to solder the bands together.  Am I at that place?  I'm guessing that my finger is about a 5 1/2 right now.  Will I lose more and be stuck with rings that I can't resize again?  It would kill me to not be able to wear my ring(s).  I just don't know and I don't want to be wrong with this weight loss decision.

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