I think (let's hope I don't have to retract this statement) that I'm where I should be with my band. I think. I did not get a fill in December so the last fill was from November. I'm also not scheduled to see her again until February.
All along I've been living with this band. I've waited for the day when I realize that it's really working. All along I thought that there would be some awakening from the heavens to show me that it's working. I've wondered and waited for signs like Pete has, thinking that our experiences would be the same.
Pete gets a warning hiccup when he's getting full. I don't.
Pete has to cut everything really tiny. I don't, but I chew more.
Pete can wait 5 minutes and eat more. I can't.
Pete can use a piece of bread to get things unstuck. It just adds to the mass of stuck for me.
Pete is hungry again at meal times. I've got very little hunger, if any at all.
After the November fill I realized that the band is doing it's job and doing it well. It's making me not have much hunger, if any at all. It's making me chew more so that food doesn't get stuck. It's making me fill up faster and be fuller for longer periods of time. However, can still eat more than 1.5 cups depending on the food I'm eating. But in order to not have bad experiences I have to eat slowly and be mindful of the food I am eating and how I am eating it.
Where I'm still having the issue is the connection between my mind and my body. My mind craves chocolate and carbs ALL.THE.TIME. While I may only have 3-4 ounces of fish, 1/2 up of peas and 10 tiny tatortots (my actual dinner last night), by 8:30 I was craving chocolate and Trader Joe's Ginger Cookies. Did I indulge? Yes. I had 5 ginger cookies (they're only an inch across). I find that if I let myself indulge a bit, it helps from not obsessing and I eat less than if I let it build up to massive cravings.
Am I down a bunch of weight in the last few months? No. But I'm not gaining and I'm continuing to lose 1-5 pounds each month. I'm not concerned about massive amounts of loss any longer. I'm concerned about living a healthy lifestyle that includes foods good for me and good food. I'm concerned about living an active lifestyle vs a sedentary lifestyle and one filled with activities and physical activity that I enjoy. I'm concerned with maintaining the loss that I have and not returning to the bad habits that got me into this position in the first place. When I take all that into account, I think that I'm doing a pretty good job.