Monday, October 29, 2012

196.4; It's Winter & I'm Cold

Really the title says it all.  I've developed Pete's syndrome of being cold ALL.THE.TIME.  Friday I didn't want to get out of bed, but I did.  I spent the day off running errand after errand.  When I got home I jumped back in bed and turned that heated blanket on high.  I had a hard time again getting out of bed to get ready for date night.  Then I again followed Pete and took a HOT shower for about 15 minutes, with the door closed, to get warm.  Today, I have a sweater on and my office heater.  Plus hot coffee and anything else I can think of.

Want to know the worst part of all this?  I'm cold all day and evening.  Multiple heated blankets and everything to get warn.  When I lay down to try and actually sleep, I am HOT AS HELL.  Damn perimenopause.  I sleep most of the night with very little covers while Pete is holed up under 12 layers like an Eskimo.  I knew that I'd get cold when I lost weight.  But I thought that my hot flashes would counteract this and I'd be ok in the middle.  No such luck.

I c-hosted a baby shower this weekend.  Got some wonderful baby snuggles in and I am satisfied until I can snuggle again at Thanksgiving.  I saw family that I really haven't seen since May.  I do have to mention that I was rocking my new-to-me Silver jeans ($25 at Clothes Mentor than-you-very-much), a new black belt, a White long sleeve shirt (medium - YES!) and I black vest (medium again - YES!) with a cute scarf and tall black heels.  I felt AWESOME and for the first time I think EVER in fashion and at a size that I feel ok about.  I got comments about how great I looked from lots of family.  It felt good.

But.  And you knew there was a but in there somewhere, right?  At one point my aunt took me aside and told me how good I look.  When I told her that I was down 90+ pounds from my heaviest she congratulated me.  Then I told her that I'm about 20 pounds from my goal.  She told me not to lose anymore weight.  I inwardly sighed and immediately heard my voice in my head telling Pete something similar.  I now understand his frustration with everyone telling him not to lose anymore weight, somewhat. 

My goal has always get to 175 and see where I look.  Maybe I'll get there and think that I look great and try to maintain.  Maybe I'll think that it's too much and gain some back.  And maybe, just maybe, I'll decide that I want to lose more.  Who knows.  But I haven't wavered from that goal this whole time.  And yet, to others I look "ok" right now.  I understand now that my goal is what it is.  And no matter what people say at this point, I'm going to keep working towards the goal.  When I get to that goal I'm going to 1.  Assess my body shape.  2. Talk with my primary care doctor and my bariatric doctor about how I look and my BMI, fat percentage and muscle percentage.  3.  I'm going to listen to those around me and see what they have to say about how I look.  Then I 'll decide where to go from there.


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  2. Chris is always cold since he lost 80 pounds, but it is better cause we snuggle to keep warm :)