I weighed myself this morning, like I have been for the last couple of months to see where my weights are on a daily basis.
I was instantly disappointed in myself. I had been down to a solid 227/228 post my illness. Yet here I am creeping up. I knew instantly why. After the talk with Pete I understood that I am self sabotaging my weight loss. When I met with the doctor about the gastric band, I had 7 pounds to lose. 7. Seven. Want to know how much I have to lose now? 7. S.E.V.E.N. I've not moved.
So what do I do about this? I know what I need to do. I know why I need to do it. I know about when it needs to be done by. Yet I sit. I told Pete this morning that I need to get to the gym. He replied with something about understanding that you can't make someone do something. And he's right. It's personal responsibility. And I need to get some.
I know that tracking food works, but I have an extremely hard time doing it.
I know that working out works for me, but I'm struggling to get there.
Bottom line is that I just need to do it. I need to take my REAL SELF and understand that it will be ok to do this. It will be ok to lose the weight and allow myself to have this surgery and get healthier. The REAL ME is scared, but I'm trying to pull her out.