Tuesday, December 27, 2011

2012 Word

I talked a while ago about how people chose words to use as their theme for the year.  Cheesy, yes.  But sometimes I think that we need a little cheese to get us through.

2011 wasn't easy. 

There were family stresses that seem to have settled back out.  Although they're always there, lingering, ready to resurface.  My Grandma seems to be better from her back injury and has regained enough strength to live daily again.  She was fabulous on Christmas.  I spent a realtivly relaxed Christmas with family and it was a good one.  Whether it's the idea that she may not be around all that much longer and we need to enjoy it or that we were all simply getting along, it was a good one and I'll take it.

There was financial stress.  Pete was on unemployment more than he worked.  It's frustrating as hell to see how he struggled to find a job that was a good fit for him and the employer.  He started working for a new company, permanent and full time the week of 12/12/11.  The steady check that is much more than what he was getting on unemployment is certainly welcomed.  We have a good plan to get caught up on our emergecy fund, our travel fund and savings again. 

There was physical stress.  I struggled all year with losing additional weight.  I'd be active 6 days a week at the gym, watching portions and what I ate and still see no results.  Many times I felt like giving up.  And to some degree I did that after I hurt the balls of my feet in August.  But I'm back at it.  Working out 4-5 days a week and doing what I can to help myself out.  I struggled through getting approved for a gastric banding surgery and I'm still in the process.  But I see a window of light and I'm reaching for it with all I have.

There was emotional stress.  All that suff that I just wrote...it causes emotional stress in various ways.  A blue day here and there.  Frustration, anger, irritation....  Pete and I are in for the long haul marriage wise.  We both understand there are ups and downs along the way and quitting just isn't an option.  It's not that we have problems, it's that we are finding our way.  We're understanding that it takes work and just doesn't happen. 

So for 2012, my word is CHOICES.

I see how choices that I made in 2011 determined my path all along.  Even when I didn't make the better choice, I rode it out and figured out how to get back to center with new choices.  Choices are made with lots of thought and with little thought.  I'd like 2012 to be the year that I really consider my choices and be aware of why I made that choice.  I'd like to think that I continue to learn from wrong choices and when the situation presents it's self again, I can chose to make the better choice the next time. 


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