I keep thinking of the 2 BMI points that separate me from the insurance paid band. It's really hard not to think of them at this point. But thinking about them is going to get me no where.
I emailed my doctor Monday afternoon when I stopped crying and she emailed me back yesterday. She can't send me for a sleep study, I have to go through the lung specialist in the clinic. So I waited until today for them to call me to make an appointment. The first appointment available? 10/5. It seems like forever even though it's only 3 weeks. So many hoops. Sometimes I feel like my life is one big set of hoops. And just when I think that it will get easier on the other side of the big hoop, there is another hoop to jump through.
In the mean time? In the mean time I guess I go back to exercising and eating good for me food. I have to say, I'm still dreaming of the ice cream and cake in bed idea. I know it doesn't solve anything and it creates new problems, but it's one of those feel-good-at-the-time things. I've realized that my other 'binge' area is shopping. My hand went to the phone several times yesterday while watching shopping newtworks. And I keep thinking that I need a new outfit for my all day training on Friday. Something professional, but casual. In actuality, I need nothing. I know this when I stop to think about it. Shopping isn't going to do me any better than eating cake. In fact it will make it worse, as Pete is still laid off.
My solice is playing with that cute little Nico puppy while sitting next to my husband.