Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The weight of the World

At times I think I take on too much.  Not physically or schedule-wize, but emotionally.  For instance, I feel as though the stress of Pete's not having a job is mine and the worry of his mental health is mine.  I've spent the day trying to think of fun and inexpensive getaways for 2 weeks from now when everyone else in our motorcycle club will be in Michigan camping.  I've been getting texts from Pete saying that he feels as though he's just a throw-away person because the company can't even give him a letter of recommendation because he's temp through and agency.  So I wonder how I can take his mind of this tonight after I get home from the gym.

But what I realize is that I'm taking on his emotions.  I need to figure out how to feel my emotions and worry about those and help him through his, not take them on.  I need to figure out how to support him without feeling the same things that he is feeling.  Maybe I focus so much on other's feelings because it allows me to not feel my feelings.  Maybe if I focus on others, then I won't have to focus on myself.

So my plan is to keep on with my plan.  I had to postpone my trainer workout on Monday to help my parents with a tree on their house from the storm Sunday night.  I burned calories then, just in a different way.  I have a workout tonight and then I'm going to spend some time in the spa and sauna.  Friday morning I'm going to work out.  Baby steps.  One thing at a time.  Focus on the workouts for now and try to eat healthy.  When it's a routine, then start something new. 

It's the plan.

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