Tuesday, October 15, 2013

207; I Just Want To Be Done

I had a dream the other night. Everyone had to get annual check ups at a check in service. I was in a long line by myself for my check up. No one would listen to me about my mastectomy and they wanted a mammogram. It scared me and I felt I didn't need it, but staff insisted. I woke up crying and breathing hard. 

I'm 3+ weeks out from my revision and fipple surgery. I go on Thursday to get all the stitches out and have him check everything. 

My left one isn't healing well. It's got the same characteristics that my felt foob had. My foob had a spot underneath that wouldn't heal right. When he did my fipples, he cut the edges of skin out  to create new skin to new skin. I'm sure there's some way to do the same thing with this. I'm sure there's a way to fix it and make it work. 

But honestly?  I'm frustrated. I feel like I need an all clear from the doctors to move on with my life, return to me. Only something keeps dragging on and out and keeping me in this mode of recovery vs living. Mentally I need this clearance. I just want this all to be done. 


  1. Hey girl! Virtual hugs coming your way. Living in a holding pattern can be so frustrating . . . hang in there.