Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Are you a Gobbler or a Saver?

I read a post on a message board I belong to yesterday. 
My daughter is 11.  She and my husband have an ongoing issue with food.  She complains to me about all of the food that she feels he eats too much of. Clearly this not the end of the world, but I have a very slight concern that this could alter her view on food at some point.

The problem in a nutshell is that if my husband likes something, it's gone. My daughter asked me to buy some dip at the store on Sunday. She opened it and had a little Sunday. She came back last night and she's scraping the bottom of the container because my husband apparently ate it all Sunday night.  The same type of thing will happen with a box of ice cream treats. She'll have one and come back a few days later and he's had one every day until there aren't any.

I guess that is where it the food concern comes in. He's not eating the whole box at once or anything, but unless she also eats one a day, she doesn't get any. I don't want her starting to feel like she needs to eat at his pace in order to get her share.
There were a whole bunch of responses about how the husband pays for the food so he can eat what he wants, when he wants it.  More about how the parents control the food and she needs to quit worrying about it.  But there was also a group who focused on the last sentence of the quote. 

I don't want her starting to feel like she needs to eat at his pace in order to get her share.

I remember doing this.

Money was tight when I was a kid.  We never went hungry, but treats and things were a minimum.  I have a distinct memory of baking a loaf of quick bread from the back of the cabinet when my parents were at work one day.  Then keeping it in my room in my bottom desk drawer to eat all for myself.  I remember my mom coming home with groceries and I cut off a hunk of the mozzarella chunk and took it too my room to eat.  With the bread, I don't think my parents every knew about it.  If they did, they never said anything.  With the mozzarella, I remember getting into trouble because it was all supposed to be used for a lasagna my Mom was making.  I remember my sister hiding tomatoes on her window sill until they ripened so she'd get her share of tomatoes from the garden.

My family wasn't big on desserts.  But when we went to other people's houses, especially my Grandma's, there would be dessert after every meal.  When there was ice cream or cake or something like that at our house, I think I over ate, so that I would feel like I got my share of it.  After the pattern emerged, I think I started doing it with savory food also.

Even to this day...there are times were I find myself eating something at home because I like it and I want to get my share in.  How silly is that?  I'm an adult with the ability to buy more, but I still take larger portions or eat it more often to make sure that I get my share.  I'm thankful for reading that yesterday.  I triggered something in me that said "I am your daughter!  Please figure this out so she doesn't become me!"  It also make me realize what I am doing and that I need to take steps to make the changes so that I don't do that.

My goal in the next 2 weeks is to realize when I am doing this, what food it is and really think about why I'm doing it or what I'm afraid of.

1 comment:

  1. I have the EXACT same problem!!! We called it "food police" and it would be fighting or squabbling over food, and hoarding it so other family members wouldn't get any. Thus, a huge portion of my unhealthy relationship with food..... It's a struggle to understand and work through years of issues!!!