Struggling

Sometimes life is such a struggle. And I don't mean that in a, I want to off myself way. I mean that I can have the best of intentions, know what I need to do and all that and still struggle.

I'm struggling with exercise, weight and food. Previously when I wanted to feel betterabout myself I'd exercise more. The treadmill mainly. It usually takes a week of struggling to get on that thing 5 times a week. But after that first week of struggling I'm reminded just how good it feels to exercise. Not necessarily the rush that everyone talks about, that takes longer, but the good feeling of sweating and moving. Only I can't do that right now. My knee and my leg are sore. Most nights it's just sore from the sitting, standing and walking that I do on it. I really want that feeling of moving.

So therein is the issue. Because I can't exercise, I blow it all off. I could eat better, but lately I've been so hungry. Nothing seems to satisfy me. I bought all kinds of veggies and made a salad from them to take to work each day for lunch. But by the time that 9:30-10:00 rolls around I'm so hungry that I eat my lunch. Then I spend all day talking myself out of just how hungry I am. Usually I cave in for food in the afternoon - whatever is in my office - and then feel horrible about my choices.

So it's a struggle. I need something to motivate me out of the struggle, the hard time and at least forward motion into the good.