I can hardly wait

Like a child at Christmas I can hardly wait. In about 24 hours I'll be offically on vacation. Glorious vacation. Don't get me wrong, I like my job most days. There are times when it's really rewarding. On the other hand I firmly believe that everyone needs time off to recharge. Time off from the daily schedule to just be. Time away so that when you come back you are fresh and new and ready to hit it head on.

Come to think of it, I believe this about most things. I think we need time away from TV to live, time away from the PC to live, time away from others to be in our own head, time away from family so that you realize what you miss. Time away/distance is not a bad thing.

And I'm in some need of it.

Crying

Why is it so hard for women to realize that they cannot do it all, all the time?

I cried last night. I finally told Pete that I felt overwhelmed with all the things that we had going on. That I am racing to get done whatever it is I am doing so that I can get to the next thing, only to race to get that done and move on too. Work things, family things, fun things, me things. All of them involve me hurrying to get them done. It overwhelms me and I can only do it for so long before I break. Last night was it. I just cried. Maybe I needed the cry too, but I needed to let Pete know how I was feeling. I need to be better at letting him know that sooner.

So the new plan is to take it easy this weekend. Tonight we are doing NOTHING. Tomorrow Pete is going with the club on a day ride and I am doing NOTHING. Sunday I need to run some errands for the trip, but more NOTHING after that. I need to re-charge mentally, physically and emotionally.

Busy

Lately I've been working for the weekends. I think there's a song somewhere from the 80's that talks about that. Only I'm living it. And while I love my weekends, it makes the weeks go by so much faster. It feels like it was only April and suddenly it's the end of July.

My group hosted the campout last weekend and it was a lot of work. We went to a wonderful place down south by the Mississippi River. It was actually a marina and we camped in a little area by the boat launch. It was quiet, peaceful and nice.

Until we figured out that the mayflies had just hatched. Yuk. There were millions of these bugs by the river. They're harmless. They're kind of pretty. But at the end of the night they die. Yes, they die daily. So when I got up to use the bathroom the next morning this is what I saw. Yuk. They had to use a leaf blower to pile them up and shovel them. Did I mention Yuk?

We went to the national eagle center with the group and had a presentation on bald eagles. It was pretty cool to see an eagle up that close. Then we got to take pictures with our bikes and the bird. Can you say Chirstmas Card? lol

Then we drove into WI and found an overlook that was really cool. Picture number 2 for the Christmas card. lol

And I attended my first Pow-Wow. It was really cool. Pete is such a talker that he chatted with a man sitting next to us about the ceremony. Toddlers to elders danced in the ring. Bright costumes, natural costumes, some animal heads...a lot of different things. It was really interesting to watch and listen.

Busy weekend, but a lot of fun.

Recharge

I think I figured it out. This out of sorts thing. Not the reason behind it, but rather how to cure it.

Actually now that I think about it, I may know the reason behind it and how to cure it.

I exhausted my vacation hours last year. I was down to less than 20 by the end of the wedding hoopla last fall. Between days off for illness, days off for wedding, days off for fun...I had not many days off left. We can carry over 240 hours at the end of each year. Pre-Pete (aka "when I had no life") Iused to carry over about 150 or so each year. My goal was and still is to get to the 240 hours one year so that I can carry it over, accumulate more during the year and take a month or so off in the summer. Dreams...

Back to the last year...I used a lot of hours. When it came time for the wedding I didn't even take a full week off. Because honestly, it freaks me out when I see that FTO balance drop below 100. Weird. I know. 100 hours is 2.5 weeks off. And I really only need 40 hours to get to my emergency leave should I need it. But when the balance goes below 100 I get a little anxious.

Because of my anxiety about this I've spent the last year really thinking about the time that I take off. I haven't taken more than 4 days off at a time. And for most days that I do take off, I end up working 4-10 hour days so that I don't have to take FTO hours.

To put it simply...I need a vacation.

I'd love to take a week and just do nothing. NO planning for motorcycle trips, no work, no housework, no places I have to be...well do al that and not feel guilty about not doing it also. But that's not going to happen. I have a week vacation planned later this month, but it's an actual trip with friends. So no mindless vegging about going on then.

My plan is to take a day off next week to veg. To lay about in bed and watch the reality shows that I have saved up on Tivo and that Pete hates. To read the magazines on the floor by my bed. To finsh the last Twilight book that I've been reading for several months. To crochet. To...uh...do nothing important all day long. I need to re-charge my mind, my soul, my emotions and my body.

Out of Sorts

I'm feeling a little out of sorts lately. Almost like I can't quite find my center. Maybe it's because I'm so busy all the time that I never just sit and 'be' with me. Life is still good. Just a little off.

I've noticed that I do a good amount of thinking sitting on my motorcycle. I'm totally aware of my surroundings and what is going on, but I'm also thinking a lot. Porcessing things and wondering about others. It's kind of like going to church. Maybe I need to ride more often and it will help me find my center.

S.....L......O.......W......

For whatever reason I'm down to blogging about once a week. Partly because I'm working long long days the beginning of the week so that I can take Friday off and have a nice long weekend when we go camping. Partly because we haven't been doing much interesting. Partly because when we do go on interesting rides, I'm busy controlling a motorcycle and can't take pictures like I did last year.

I do know that in three weeks we'll be leaving for the annual run.

I'm excited, nervous, happy, freaked out, worried, psyched up, and all that...

LOL