Wednesday, April 01, 2009

There, but for the grace of God, go I...

In other words, that could be me.

Sometimes it's so easy to pass judgement on others. I think that we, as outsiders feel like we have the whole picture. Sometimes we do and sometimes we don't. Sometimes when we're not in the middle of something, dealing with it all the time, we think that we have all the answers. Sometimes we do and sometimes we don't.

I'm struck lately with how much I learn as an adult. I'm not talking about learing math or english or science. I'm talking life lessons that I wonder if I've passed over previously. It took me a long time to learn that I can't please everyone and I have to please myself. It took me a while to learn that I may be scared to do something, but I'll regret the not doing it more than I would have been scared doing it. I've learned that I can't always control my destiny, but I can make the best of my present situation and learn for the future. All lessons that would have made my life easier a lot sooner had I learned them previously.

I've learned another one. I can't judge someone's desision, when I've made a similar decision myself. It was kind of like a smack in the face, this lesson. But a clear lesson. Crystal clear. And while it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who made a decision like this, a hard decision. It makes me sad that others go through the same hurt that I did. It also makes me question why I made the decision and other little decisions around it.

I know I'm being a bit criptic here. And well, it's intended to be so. I don't regret my decision, but I need to look forward from it. I need to not sit in wonder of whether or not it was right or what others would have done. I need to be more in the present, not the past or the future.

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