Wish I may...

Yes, I've been using my star again.

Star light, starrt bright, first start I see tonight. Wish I may, wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight.

Previously the wish had to do with finding that speical person who completes who I am. But I found that person. I'm in love and we're engaged and everything should be wonderful. My biggest worry should be what color flowers for my bouquet.

Instead I'm back to wishing on my star. Lately is's a huge bright shiney star in the morning sky on my way to work. I'm not entirely sure it's a star and wondering slightly if it's a planet of some sort that I see. At any rate, I've been wishing on it the last week on clear mornings. My wish is that my parents will call. That they will let me know that they are happy for me and love me and that's all that matters.

In all reality I don't think that is going to happen. It's been over 2 weeks since they've spoken to me. And I wonder why they don't call. Is it because they don't know what to say? Is it because they won't change their mind? Is it because they are leaving me alone to do my own thing? Did they see my letter as an ultimatum and chose not to accept it?

Then I wonder how long does this go on? I mean do I live the rest of my life without sharing it with them? And then I start to really feel sad and shut the feeling down before I cry so hard that I can't stop. I let myself cry the other night in the shower. It felt good, but I wanted much more of a cry and I don't want to burdeon Pete with this so instead I ignore it. It's wrong, but it's the only way I know how to deal with this right now.