1. He's insistant that I go to Chicago later this month to meet up with internet friends. I tried to say that I shouldn't spend the money given that we're paying a buttload of taxes this year. Then I tried to say that if I went, I wouldn't spend a bunch of money while there. He not only instisted that I go, he told me that I should get a $50 glass of wine while there. Now I don't think that I could spend $50 on 4 onuce of wine at any point in my life, but I love him for saying that. And I love him for recognizing that I need this trip and being ok with me going.
2. He pushed me to learn how to ride a motorcycle. All my life I've been the hesitant one. I grew up being told that I can't do things. I wasn't pushed to try things with the knowledge that a failure doesn't just mean failure, it means I learned a lesson in failing. Pete pushed me to lear to ride by buying me the class for a Valentine's gift one year. And I couldn't be happier. The feeling of riding my own motorcyle is one that I can't acurately explain. It's freedom and confidence, power and connection, boisterous and beauty, exploration and observing, peaceful and zenlike, plus a whole bunch of other things.
3. He goes to the gym with me. He's my support and cheerleader. He understands what it's like to work out when you don't want to. He understands the small goals of completing a 5K on the treadmill or 15 minutes on the stairstepper. He sees my body changing and reminds me that pounds does not always equal more healthy. He watches my eating and doesn't comment on the bad stuff, but encourages the good stuff.
4. He loves me for who I am. He loves me for who I am right now, at this very moment and will will love me 3 weeks from now as I am as well as 30 years from now, as I am. He is the first person who loved me, not for who I might be, who I was or any other thing. He loves me for me. And I love him in return.
5. He makes me smile. He says little things, texts me jokes and comments. He smiles and I smile. He smiles and my heart melts all over again, just like it did the first time I met him. I knew that first date that he would be mine. It took longer that I thought and we didn't take the easy way to marriage, but I loved his smile then and I'll love it when I'm 80.
Tuesday, April 05, 2011
Monday, April 04, 2011
Everyday Choices
Let's face it, not everyday is a great day. But everyday has the opportunity to make choices.
See that phone there? It's mine. My weekday alarm goes off at 4:50am. Most days I get out of bed reluctantly and head to the gym. I've found that I'm a morning exerciser. I tried going after work, but found that I was having issues getting on the machines and I kept staring outside wishing I was anywhere else. It screwed up dinner with Pete because I'd get home really late to start cooking something and not everything can go in the crockpot.
About a year ago now I started going to the gym in the morning. There are way less people there and I like the vibe that the gym gives off in the morning. It's more business and less showing off.
But this morning? Hell. It was hell. I had a busy weekend. See the 6:45am alarm up there? It's when my alarm goes off on the weekends for the gym. Pete and I headed to the gym yesterday and worked out on weights together. Then we spent time in the whirlpool and sauna. By the time we got home and made breakfast and ate, I was exhausted. So I took a nap. BIG mistake. I crashed and slept for 2.5 hours. Needless to say last night I couldn't fall asleep. The last time I looked at the clock it was just after 1 am.
Yep. 1 am. So when my alarm went off I groaned and turned it off. I rolled over to Pete and asked him if he was going to the gym. He said no and I cuddled in with him as he fell back asleep. In that moment I had a choice. I could go back to sleep and cuddle with my husband for an hour or I could get up and get to the gym.
I made the good choice. I got up and went. It was a struggle the whole way, but I did it. I made the choice. And if I had made the other choice, I realize that I have the opportunity to make the good choice the next time the situation presents it's self. I won't always be good, but I'll always have choices.
Sunday, April 03, 2011
My New Favorite Comfort Food
There are times that I struggle with how to make myself comfort food that tastes good, comforts and is somewhat good for me. I think that this is one of those recipes. And it's a bonus that Pete likes it because he's not a "hot-dish", one pot, comfort food kind of guy.
Taco Cheeseburger Mac
1 lb lean ground turkey
1 package low sodium taco seasoning
1.5 cups low sodium beef or turkey broth
1 can Rotel
1 cup Dreamfield's Low Carb Macaroni
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons flour
3/4 cup low fat milk
1 cup shredded cheese I used 1/2 pepper jack and 1/2 cheddar
Salt, pepper and Chipotle Pepper Sauce
In a large fry pan, brown the turkey with 1/2 of the taco seasoning. Drain any juice from the turkey. Add the remaining taco seasoning, Rotel and broth. Stir well. Add in the macaroni, cover and cook for 12-14 minutes or until the macaroni is cooked through.
While the macaroni is cooking, add the butter to a small sauce pan. Once melted, sprinkle int he flour and whisk for 5 minute or until a very light caramel color. Whisk in the milk slowly and cook on medium high heat until thickened. Add in the shredded cheese of the heat and stir well.
Once the macaroni is done, uncover the pan and look for about 5 minute or until most of the liquid is absorbed. It's ok if there is about 1/2-3/4 cup remaining. Add in the cheese sauce and stir well. Cook about 5 minutes or until the juice/sauce is thickened. I add the chipotle sauce at the end to make it as spicy as I want.
I modified the recipe that I found at Kevin and Amanda. YUM! I tried to calculate the calories, but can't really find information for some of the things. The nearest I can find is that 1/4 of the recipe is 400 calories, 25 grams fat, 28 grams carbs and 35 grams protein. While it's more calories than I would like, the carbs are so low and the protein is so high. It's a balancing act for sure, but I'm ok with this once and a while.
*************************************************
Taco Seasoning: The little packets you get from the store are so high in sodium. I've taken to making my own recipe. Use about 3 tablespoons per pound of meat with 1/2 tablespoon flour and 2/3 cup water for regular tacos.
1 Tablespoon dark chili powder
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/3 teaspoon onion powder
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1/4 teaspoon Mexican oregano
1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika
2 teaspoons cumin
1 teaspoon pepper
Mix well and store in airtight container.
***************************************************
Rotel is also full of things that I don't necessarily want. When a recipe calls for it, I use 1 can of low salt, small diced tomatoes and 1 can diced chilies.
**************************************************
I've also taken to shredding all my cheese again from blocks that I buy. Did you know that it has things like potato starch, powdered cellulose, calcium carbonate and other things. I have blocks of cheese that I regularly use in the fridge and just grate what I need when I need it. Interestingly it melts much better than the preshredded stuff.
*************************************************
And lastly I've been making my own broths also. When I make a whole chicken I use the leftovers and simmer them all day in a crockpot with water, some celery, carrots and onion. After it's cooked all day I put it in the fridge overnight and then skim the fat off the top. Then I freeze it in 2 cup portions. I do the same thing with a turkey breast and with any leftover roasts or bone in red meat for beef broth.
Taco Cheeseburger Mac
1 lb lean ground turkey
1 package low sodium taco seasoning
1.5 cups low sodium beef or turkey broth
1 can Rotel
1 cup Dreamfield's Low Carb Macaroni
2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons flour
3/4 cup low fat milk
1 cup shredded cheese I used 1/2 pepper jack and 1/2 cheddar
Salt, pepper and Chipotle Pepper Sauce
In a large fry pan, brown the turkey with 1/2 of the taco seasoning. Drain any juice from the turkey. Add the remaining taco seasoning, Rotel and broth. Stir well. Add in the macaroni, cover and cook for 12-14 minutes or until the macaroni is cooked through.
While the macaroni is cooking, add the butter to a small sauce pan. Once melted, sprinkle int he flour and whisk for 5 minute or until a very light caramel color. Whisk in the milk slowly and cook on medium high heat until thickened. Add in the shredded cheese of the heat and stir well.
Once the macaroni is done, uncover the pan and look for about 5 minute or until most of the liquid is absorbed. It's ok if there is about 1/2-3/4 cup remaining. Add in the cheese sauce and stir well. Cook about 5 minutes or until the juice/sauce is thickened. I add the chipotle sauce at the end to make it as spicy as I want.
I modified the recipe that I found at Kevin and Amanda. YUM! I tried to calculate the calories, but can't really find information for some of the things. The nearest I can find is that 1/4 of the recipe is 400 calories, 25 grams fat, 28 grams carbs and 35 grams protein. While it's more calories than I would like, the carbs are so low and the protein is so high. It's a balancing act for sure, but I'm ok with this once and a while.
*************************************************
Taco Seasoning: The little packets you get from the store are so high in sodium. I've taken to making my own recipe. Use about 3 tablespoons per pound of meat with 1/2 tablespoon flour and 2/3 cup water for regular tacos.
1 Tablespoon dark chili powder
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/3 teaspoon onion powder
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1/4 teaspoon Mexican oregano
1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika
2 teaspoons cumin
1 teaspoon pepper
Mix well and store in airtight container.
***************************************************
Rotel is also full of things that I don't necessarily want. When a recipe calls for it, I use 1 can of low salt, small diced tomatoes and 1 can diced chilies.
**************************************************
I've also taken to shredding all my cheese again from blocks that I buy. Did you know that it has things like potato starch, powdered cellulose, calcium carbonate and other things. I have blocks of cheese that I regularly use in the fridge and just grate what I need when I need it. Interestingly it melts much better than the preshredded stuff.
*************************************************
And lastly I've been making my own broths also. When I make a whole chicken I use the leftovers and simmer them all day in a crockpot with water, some celery, carrots and onion. After it's cooked all day I put it in the fridge overnight and then skim the fat off the top. Then I freeze it in 2 cup portions. I do the same thing with a turkey breast and with any leftover roasts or bone in red meat for beef broth.
Saturday, April 02, 2011
Oversharing?
So, wanna know something about me? I've been holding this in for a couple of weeks. I've been trying to come up with a tactful way of saying it. I've been...giggling. I can't believe I'm going to share this...
I...uh...can make my chest twitch. (giggle)
Have you ever been at the gym and seen one of those huge muscle bound guys? The heavy weighlifter/bodybuilder types? Have you ever seem them flex their pectoral muscles for the girls around them, just to show off?
Well I can do that. Kind of.
I was on the phone with my Mom a couple of weeks ago and I turned to look at Pete. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my left chest twitch. So I turned again and the same thing happened. Then of course I kept turning and realized that I was making my chest twitch. Or rather, I was flexing my pectoral muscle and you could actually see the result on the outside.
(SMILE)
So what did I do? I kept doing it of course. I'd say to Pete, "Hey, look at this!" and flex. The first few times he congratulated me and told me that it was cool. Gradually that turned into a smile and a nod of the head. Then it was just a nod. Now he doesn't actually look at me, but he says, "Cool!" and continues whatever he is doing at the moment. I believe that it's lost it's appeal for him.
But for me? I keep doing it. Several times a day. Ok, lots of times. But I'm not showing other people. I'm just amazed that I have muscles to begin with. I'm astounded that I can actually control them. And I'm encouraged to keep striving for that second day soreness that tells me I'm building more muscles.
So, was that oversharing?
I...uh...can make my chest twitch. (giggle)
Have you ever been at the gym and seen one of those huge muscle bound guys? The heavy weighlifter/bodybuilder types? Have you ever seem them flex their pectoral muscles for the girls around them, just to show off?
Well I can do that. Kind of.
I was on the phone with my Mom a couple of weeks ago and I turned to look at Pete. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my left chest twitch. So I turned again and the same thing happened. Then of course I kept turning and realized that I was making my chest twitch. Or rather, I was flexing my pectoral muscle and you could actually see the result on the outside.
(SMILE)
So what did I do? I kept doing it of course. I'd say to Pete, "Hey, look at this!" and flex. The first few times he congratulated me and told me that it was cool. Gradually that turned into a smile and a nod of the head. Then it was just a nod. Now he doesn't actually look at me, but he says, "Cool!" and continues whatever he is doing at the moment. I believe that it's lost it's appeal for him.
But for me? I keep doing it. Several times a day. Ok, lots of times. But I'm not showing other people. I'm just amazed that I have muscles to begin with. I'm astounded that I can actually control them. And I'm encouraged to keep striving for that second day soreness that tells me I'm building more muscles.
So, was that oversharing?
Friday, April 01, 2011
235 - I'm No Superwoman
My month of tracking workouts and weight went ok. 238 on the first of March and 235 today. But I can feel stronger, better muscles.
What I realized is that I'm no Superwoman.
I can go and go and go but at some point I need to stop and listen to my body and my mind. By yesterday both of them were screaming at me to listen. I think they've been talking to me all week, but I wasn't listening.
I'm reminded of this non-Superwoman complex a couple of times a year. You'd think that by now I'd be able to hear myself, but somewhere along the way I lose touch with the inner me. It starts of small, I add one or two things to my schedule. Then work or home life gets complicated. Then I challenge myself to workout 6 days a week. And I balance it all. But there comes a day where the cherry on top of my life-sundae slides off the ice cream and the whole sundae topples over.
This week I struggled with a migraine all week. It wasn't always full blown, but it was always there, threatening to strangle the right side of my head in pain. I wasn't sleeping well because of the migraine and stress I suppose. And at this point it becomes a cyclical thing. The migraine was likely a stress thing. I can't sleep well because of it. I can't work out because the migraine becomes worse. The stress is still there because I can't exercise it away. Therefore the migraine stays.
By yesterday afternoon I had pretty much had it. I told Pete I had to go to the gym. He told me that I needed to listen to my body. And as lame as I felt, I realized that he was right. I was ignoring what my mind and body were telling me. And the more I ignored, the more it screamed.
So I listened. I relaxed without feeling guilty about it. I slept in (if 6:30 can be called sleeping in) and skipped the gym. It's not the end of the world. It's not a bad thing. It's something that I need to accept in my journey. And the bottom line is that this doesn't stop my journey. I have the opportunity all day, every day, to make choices that lead me to where I want to be. A pit stop along the way is not a derailment of the path, it's mearly a stop to regroup.
What I realized is that I'm no Superwoman.
I can go and go and go but at some point I need to stop and listen to my body and my mind. By yesterday both of them were screaming at me to listen. I think they've been talking to me all week, but I wasn't listening.
I'm reminded of this non-Superwoman complex a couple of times a year. You'd think that by now I'd be able to hear myself, but somewhere along the way I lose touch with the inner me. It starts of small, I add one or two things to my schedule. Then work or home life gets complicated. Then I challenge myself to workout 6 days a week. And I balance it all. But there comes a day where the cherry on top of my life-sundae slides off the ice cream and the whole sundae topples over.
This week I struggled with a migraine all week. It wasn't always full blown, but it was always there, threatening to strangle the right side of my head in pain. I wasn't sleeping well because of the migraine and stress I suppose. And at this point it becomes a cyclical thing. The migraine was likely a stress thing. I can't sleep well because of it. I can't work out because the migraine becomes worse. The stress is still there because I can't exercise it away. Therefore the migraine stays.
By yesterday afternoon I had pretty much had it. I told Pete I had to go to the gym. He told me that I needed to listen to my body. And as lame as I felt, I realized that he was right. I was ignoring what my mind and body were telling me. And the more I ignored, the more it screamed.
So I listened. I relaxed without feeling guilty about it. I slept in (if 6:30 can be called sleeping in) and skipped the gym. It's not the end of the world. It's not a bad thing. It's something that I need to accept in my journey. And the bottom line is that this doesn't stop my journey. I have the opportunity all day, every day, to make choices that lead me to where I want to be. A pit stop along the way is not a derailment of the path, it's mearly a stop to regroup.
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