The truth is that if I really look at this number that I've become today, I'm good. I say that because I think that I'm in a much better place at 40 than I ever was at 30.
At 30 I was living with a family member trying to save money for a house. But I wasn't happy about feeling like I was under someone's wing. At 40 I have my own house. I've had my own house for 4 years and I love it. With all it's faults (too small for Pete and I), it's the first big thing I did on my own.
At 30 I was going out a lot with friends. Sure, I could have a great happy hour with friends and party all night long. I would be out most every weekend having a good time. At 40 I realize that I do'nt have to drink to have fun. I realize that the friends that I have a good friends and they truely care about me. They are amazing.
At 30 I was so incredibly lonely I cried. I had friends and family around me all the time, but I was lonely. I didn't have the one. at 40 I have Pete, my true love. For good and bad, he is it. And he loves me for who I am now, not who I was or who I might be. Without him I don't know where I'd be.
At 30 I ate what I want and sat around. At 40 I watch what I eat so that it's both good for me and tastes good. I get up and workout 6 days a week. I'm active and doing things. I own a motorcycle and we ride. We travel. We see movies and check out museams. We walk in parks and have adventures. I'm doing, not just watching from the sidelines.
At 30 I was shy(er), introvered(er). At 40 I'm more confident in who I am and where I'm at in life. I know that it's me and only me who can make me happy inside. I know that I can't change others and I can't make them happy.
At 40 I am me. Good, bad, ugly and beautiful. I am Michelle.
Here I come 40's.
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