Please, don't yell at me.

I usually don't talk about my job here. And I'm not going to get into speicifics. However, today has been rough. I'm answering incoming calls from clients and others. It seems to be the day to take it all out on me. So with that said, please know the following:

• I'm limited in the scope of what I can do to help you. I wish I could do more, but I can't.
• The information I can provide to you is limited. This time by law. Believe me, if I could, I'd give you everything you want because part of my job is to help.
• I don't know it all. I work with what I have and the access to the information that I have.
• I am here to help. Whether you want to believe it or not, I do care.
• I'm human too. Yelling, screaming and calling me names isn't pleasant and it doesn't get you past the limitations of the first 3 things.

I'm glad it's Friday, this has been a long week.

This is for Shimmy

I had several things written here. To support you, to let you know that I care. None of them seemed anything close to what you need. So I give you this:

Someone remembers,
someone cares;
Your name is whispered in someone’s prayers.
~Author Unknown

You are in my prayers.

Pete is in love

with southern MN. We went to Houston, MN this weekend for camping. It was beautiful down there. He says that it reminds him of the landscape in Germany. There were hills and valleys that were gorgeous! This first picture is of the rivervalley near Winona. We went on a morning run to breakfast and stopped several places to take pictures.

The second picture is of the falls by Pickwick, MN. The Pickwick Mill was a beautiful stone building that we stopped at. The mill produced flour for many many years and has been renovated so that it works again. The following picture is of the huge wheel in the mill. It was beautiful.

Then at the campout we participated in the games. Pete did really well with the riding the board game. Almost won. We did a game where Pete drove and I had to put clothespins on a string. It was funny and I got 4 on my first try!

All in all, it was a wonderful weekend. The next campout isn't for several weeks, but I'm looking forward to it!

As far as Grandma, thank you for your prayers. She is home and on medications. She is upset because she can't have salt and says that food tastes awful. But she is home and doing well.

Grandma Update

*big sigh*

They tested her heart yesterday and there is an issue with one of the valves. It's causing her heart chamber & lungs to retain more fluid. They could go in and fix it surgically. However she's 93. Most likely not a good surgical candidate. So they are working hard to figure out a medication regimen that will help her body get rid of the fluid and let her breathe easier.

And if that wasn't enough, when they were testing her heart they found that she most likely has Chronic Lukemia. I say most likey because in order to diagnose, they'd have to go in and get a bone marrow sample. Pretty invasive for a 93 year old. The thing is that it's totally curable with chemo. But again, she is 93 and doesn't know if she wants to go through all of that.

So the social worker told her and one of my aunts that they needed to have a family meeting this weekend with her and all her children. She needed to make her medical wishes known to everyone and come up with a living will. It's the beginning of the end for her.

I guess my Dad is having a hard time with it. And rightly so. I think when someone in your life is sick, you think about all the would haves, should haves and could haves. You wish you could have done things differently. You wonder what your relationship would have been like. But my Dad is kind of a stoic guy who doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve and keeps his emotions close. It doesn't help that it's the busy time of year for him with school getting ready to start and with all that comes from one of your children about to get married.

At any rate, please think of the family. I hope that the living will process is an easy one, as easy as it can be. I hope that they can get her medications regulated so she can come home, where she is most comfortable. I hope that she still has many days left in this world.

Prayers Please

See the little white haired woman to the right? That's Laura, my Grandma.

She is 93. Amazing woman. She took over caring for her father after her mother was institutionalized when she was still a preteen in the 1920's. She married then she and my Grandpa Ray took over her father's farm. She raised 7 children and tended to the house and a huge garden. Later in life she took a job for the local school district and worked for serveral years of her life. She's seen lots of good times and her share of bad.

Why am I telling you all this?

All summer long she's been telling me how excited she is that I'm getting married. How excited she is to be at the wedding. Only she ends that statement each time with "If I'm still around for it." The first time I giggled at her and told her that she was too stubborn not to be there. But the more she said it, the more it became something of her foreshadowing. It gave me that feeling. You know the one where you get that ickyness in your stomache and you get the shivers?

My Mom just called. Grandma is being admitted to the hospital how through the ER. She went in because she couldn't breathe. They found that her lungs are filling up with fluid. She's had this issue before and even had congestive heart failure after her open heart surgery because of it.

So, if you could, please pray for her. I realize that she has lived this long amazing life and if it's her time to leave this world, it's her time. Selfishly, I really want her at my wedding.