194.2; My First "Real" 5K...Kind Of

14 years ago my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer.  (Have you had a mammogram this year?  If not SCHEDULE ONE NOW!)  Our family became involved in raising money for both Susan Komen and American Cancer Society.  We did the Race For the Cure a few times and the Relay For Life.  Both involve activity, mainly walking.  I believe that the first year we did this, between the walk from the car and the 1 Mile walk I was worn out.  The mile walk took us over 35 minutes.  The Relay For Life involves someone from your team walking all night long on a track.  We'd switch off and walk a mile at a time.  I was so sore from walking about 5-8 miles in a night. 

I never ever imagined that I could call myself a runner, let alone someone who regularly exercised.  I had given up.  I had decided that I would always be overweight and there was nothing I could do about it.  I had totally given up.  This awakening of getting healthy and losing weight really is a life saving event.  I can't imagine how my future has been altered by the good changes that I've made, but I hope they're good ones.

My sister Kim, my 10 year old niece Alison and I.

2 weekends ago I 'ran" a 5K with my sister and my niece.  I say ran in quotes because really my sister and I walked fast.  My back was sore and she wasn't in condition to run. My niece finished in 40 minutes with running and walking parts of it.  Afterwards we took this photo and I didn't think much of it.

When I looked at the photo last week I realized how much I had changed.  People often confuse my sister and I for each other.  We are 2.5 years apart, but look very similar, especially when I have my hair curly.  But I can see from this photo how much I've really changed.  My neck is smaller.  That's the first thing I noticed.  The second thing that I noticed is that I ALWAYS stand sideways in photos!  It's habit from being overweight and trying to make myself appear smaller.  I want to start standing full on that camera and owning my new body.

The third thing?  Never would I have imagined myself getting up on a Saturday to run/walk with my family.  Never would I have imagined that it would be fun to walk and catch up with my sister.  Never would I have imagined I'd be hearing my niece ask me to find a race in the spring that she could do with Pete and I and run the whole thing.  These are things that I never would have thought would enter my life even 4 years ago.

It's photos like this that make me realize how far I've come.

193.4; Friday Five

1.  I realized today that I've been labeling this Friday Five(S) when really there are only one set of five.  Oh well.

2.  We are photography jinxed.  And this year was no different.  So we are no scheduled to have photos taken Sunday after the first official hard freeze and potentially after a night of snow.  Initially I was thinking warm on the first weekend it was planned.  Then last weekend I changed outfits to cooler.  Now I think I'm set on snowsuits for us and the dog.  (kidding - kind of )

3.  As if photo day take 3 isn't already stressful, I have plans int he morning and a motorcycle club meeting in the afternoon.  Help me.

4.  If I don't chicken out, I'm getting an itty bitty teeny tiny tattoo on Sunday.  Help me.  I'm scared poopless.

5.  This has been a stressful week at work.  Busy plus changes are in the works and no one has said what the changes will be.  My initial thought is that I could use a greasy burger, fries, a beer and chocolate cake tonight.  In reality I may just settle for good for me food and crochet. 

194.6; Are we just cheap?

Date night was last night.  Pete and I got on his motorcycle and let the wind hit our faces and the sun on our shoulders.  Yesterday in Minnesota it was almost 80.  Today it's not getting out of the 40's.  Typical swing season time. 

We had a hard time deciding where to go but ended up at Texas Roadhouse.  We each dove into a pillowy roll, mine with butter and Pete's plain.  Then we ordered.  It's the same thing that we get there all the time.  8 ounce Dallas fillet, house salad with no dressing and fries...to share.

Here's where the weirdness starts.  And I get it, really I do.  Had you asked me 3 years ago about adults "sharers" I would have rolled my eyes.  Obviously they can't afford a meal for each of them.  Right?  They're so cheap, they probably ate before going to the restaurant and only order one meal to save money.  They have to be hungrier than that, right?

What's that old saying?  Don't judge until you've walked a mile in their shoes.

Because Pete and I get that cheap, low class, weird stare every time we do this.  Whether it's at Texas Roadhouse or Ruth Chris Steakhouse.  I almost want to explain that we've both had surgery and can't/aren't supposed to eat more than abut 1.5-2 cups of food.  But really, even if I explain, people walk away shaking their heads.  How do I know.  I tried it.  Yep.  I tried explaining this at a very fancy steakhouse not to long ago and got the weird stink eye.  So I stopped trying to explain.  I figure it's none of their business.

Then there are the places that have on their menus "no splitting plates" or "$15 split plate charge".  Really?  I understand it's a pain to get weird orders.  But we can't be the only ones doing this if they have that on their menu.  And we never ask them to actually split our food.  I'd rather admire the chef's beautifully presented plate and actually share one romantic plate sitting next to Pete than pay $15 for another plate to split it halvsies.  And on more than one occasion, Pete's ordered dinner and I've asked for nothing so we could eat our little 1.5 cups without taking home well over one leftover meal.  Then he just gives me bites.  Romantic, huh?

So are we cheap?

195.6; Is It Still Ok To Call Someone Fat?

Have you seen this:  Bully Calls News Woman Fat?

Sometimes I feel like calling someone fat is the last class of people that are 'ok' to prey upon.  If I hear someone say "that's so gay." I call them on it.  It's not right and they need to think about what they're really saying.  If I hear someone use the work 'retarted' I again call them on it.  It's not a descriptor for something and it's not nice to call someone with a disability names.

Yet, I've heard people call me fat.  I've been told that I wouldn't likely be hired as my current job title because I was "so large".  I've heard people call overweight persons 'fat' in a derogatory manner.  Why is this still ok?  And if you tell me that it's not happening, I'm here to tell you that I heard it this week.  If you're telling me that it's not ok in your area, I want to know where you live and if you call people on it.

I think the internet is the cause for a lot of this name calling.  It's anonymous.  No one has to do it face to face.  And often people are 'protected' with no way to track them down.  It's made a generation of people who don't think and don't think that what they're talking about has real world implications.  That it's not abstract, there is a real person on the other end.  They simply don't see that.

When I was a kid, if I called someone a name, I was in big trouble.  But I see actions from parents lately that are horrible at kids sports games.  They call the other team names, they make fun of them...all in front of their own kids.  What are the kids taking from this?  It's ok to do that.  But it's not.  It's simply not.

When you use a derogatory name for someone, it's a real person.  Understand that words do have power. Know when to say something, how to say it and when to say it. 

And lastly, be kind.  EVERYONE has struggles and needs a kind word at times.

195.2; Body Changes

Have you ever heard a woman say or said yourself:  "I gain 3 pounds with my period and I'm bloated."

(sorry if there are any men reading this.)

I heard it all the time in my teens and in college.  Even as an adult I heard women say this.  And I never understood it.  How can you know that your body reacted that way to your period?  I never felt bloated or gained weight. 

This month I had 2 periods.  (Lucky me, huh?)  I believe I'm in perimenopause and have been for a while.  Night sweats like crazy, hot flashes and other symptoms lead me in that direction.  Unfortunately I can't judge if I'm there by my mother's and grandmother's starting ages.  They both had forced menopause with chemo from breast cancer.

The first one went as usual.  PMS, salty, sweet, chocolate and irritability.  Normal for me.

The second one?  I gained 3 pounds and felt my tummy area more fat feeling.

It's the strangest situation to realize that being overweight lead me to miss cues from my body.  I never realized the weight gain because I was so big that 3 pounds never made a difference in my clothes.  My tummy area was already so fat, that I missed the feeling when the weight came on.

I thought about trying to explain this to Pete, but he'd just shake his head and smile at me.  Men don't really get it.  But other women get it.  And now I get it too.