202.0; Going on Vacation

In a few weeks my whole family is going on vacation together.  We're renting cabins in a resort.  I'm pretty excited about it.  This is the first vacation I've had in about 2 years.  The rest of my time off work has been a day here or there.  I can't wait to take my Nook to the beach and relax.  In fact, I've been saving books and magazines on it.

Naturally we started talking about what to eat while we're there.  We're going to share dinners, be on our own for lunches and somehow breakfast is shared again.

Even before we started talking about food I had decided to get a bunch of fruit and veggies and make a couple of trays that we could snack from during the week.  I wanted to have fresh food available so I'm not miss crabby pants from eating crap.  Pete and I agreed that this was a great plan.

When my family started talking about breakfasts, it's a lot of egg bake, french toast bake, danish ring kind of things.  And honestly my first thought was "All I want is my oatmeal or yogurt and some fruit."  But I didn't say anything because I can get that kind of stuff on my own.  And who would have thought a few years ago that I would turn down sugary French toast for oatmeal and fruit?

Lunches are easy.  I'm going to use the fruit and veggies to make sure I'm getting some good stuff in.  Then maybe add some tuna salad and some lunch meat for simple sandwiches.  I will admit that I'm making banana bread, some smores bars and likely some other kind of bar cookie to bring up for everyone.

Dinners are things like ham and potatoes, steak and potatoes, chicken/ribs and potatoes, burgers and chips.  Meat and carbs.  When I look at it, I want to add green salads, veggies and fruit to round out the meals.  I think I can make those pretty healthy.

I think this is just another example of how I used to eat and how I eat now.  I love the change and hope that it doesn't cause conflict.

200; A letter to me

Dear Me in 2008:

I know you're not going to believe any of this, but please listen.

You are overweight.  You are in love and about to get married and you are overweight.  And only you can change this.  No one else can force you or make you change.  I promise you, if you take the steps to change they will involve struggle and tears and frustration.  They will also produce wonderful changes both inside and out.

Firstly, stop drinking soda.  At some point in the next couple of years soda will be the last thing on your mind.  You will crave water on a daily basis and drink about 120 ounces a day.  You will try soda, but realize that it takes too chemically and pretty gross.  Yes, even Diet Dr Pepper will taste awful.  And carbonation?  After stopping it, you realize how full and bloated it made you to drink.  You'll no longer crave it and in fact, you'll avoid it all together.

Next, stop with the crappy food.  Really.  You don't need chips and sweet donuts and crap.  One day you'll realize that your body craves fresh fruits and veggies.  You'll realize that ground beef has a much different taste & texture than ground turkey and you actually like the turkey better.  You'll wonder why you ate some of the things you eat and realize they did you no favors.  Boxed mac and cheese will no longer taste good.  Canned food no longer tastes good.  Realize that your body is made for real food, not processed stuff.

Portion sizes.  Just because it's on your plate doesn't mean you have to eat it.  And just because you dished it up, doesn't mean you have to eat it.  Use that salad plate as your dinner plate.  It's more than enough to hold a meal's worth of food.  Lower your portion sizes and half the battle is won.

Work hard at the gym as much as you can.  Understand that this will be a battle that will continue the rest of your life.  Exercise isn't bad and you can make it fun.  Find exercise that you like and have fun with and the hour will fly by.  Lift weights in addition to cardio so that you build muscle to burn more fat.  Listen to your body and how happy it is after exercising.

Dear self, you can do this. 

You can do this.

201; Quietly now...

I may be over the hump of my 204-205 days

I ran twice last week.  Friday I couldn't get up to do it.  My sinus' have been bothering me, which means I sleep horribly and getting up Friday morning was like dragging a teenager out of bed.  Not happening.

Saturday I got up and headed in to weigh myself, like I always do.  I do this before I put my contacts in.  So if you saw me, you'd see me bending down to find the correct button to turn it on.  I wait for the correct beep to signal that I can get on.  Then I stand as motionless as I can, including holding my breath.  Do you think my empty lungs help?  No?  Oh well.  Then I step off and bend all the way over to see the number.  This time I was shocked.  I blinked several times and then looked again.  I stood up.  Bent back over and looked a third time.  Then I blinked some more.  Then I went and got Pete.  By that time it had gone blank and I had to redo the whole process.

I weighed 200 pounds.  Almost to ONEderland.

Energized, I headed to the gym and ran 6 miles.  And I'm not gonna lie.  It sucked.  But I did it and thought of the number soon starting with a one instead of a 2.  I had a great day Saturday running errands, getting things done and a neighborhood gathering.  Sunday I got up and my legs hated my brain.  I couldn't stretch out enough to get comfortable (as comfortable as one can be) to run.  So after about 15 minutes I gave up and hit the ARK trainer for an hour. 

This morning I was back at 201.  But damn, I'll take it!  I think I may have slid over the plateau of 204 that I was stuck at.  I am bound and determined to get it down to ONEderland for a week by the end of this month.  BOUND AND DETERMINED!

205.2; My Other Confession

I stopped going to the gym for 3 weeks. 

I burned out.

I get really really good streaks in me where I'm at the gym 5 or 6 days a week and I feel great.  But then something happens and I burn out.  My days end up looking like this:

4:40am:  up and get ready for the gym/drive to gym
5am:  workout for an hour
6:15: home; make coffee and get lunch from fridge
6:30:  shower and ready for work
7:15: leave for work
7:30:  arrive at work
work for 8-12 hours depending on the day
6pm:  (generally) home
6:15 start dinner
6:30:  eat dinner
7:00:  do odd jobs, laundry, small cleaning,
9:00 head to bed to watch the news and talk with Pete
10pm:  sleep

When you start to add in things like working 10-12 hour days so I can take Fridays off.  Heading out of town every Friday to camp with the club.  Family gatherings on weekends...  I start to burn out.  Not just from the gym, but from life it's self.  When that happens I shut down.  I shut everything down.  All I want to do is take a day where I'm supposed to be somewhere and lay in bed watching reality TV and reading in between naps.

Slowly I start to add things back in again.  Working longer days, activities, date nights.  But it seems as though things need to be fully on track again for me to add the gym.  I'm aware that I'd likely start feeling much better, much quicker if I even started to add 1 day a week to my schedule.  But I resist and tell myself that I don't have time.  It's my flawed thinking.  Because reality is that I have time for anything that I see important.

So I'm back to the gym.  Up 2 days in a row and running on that treadmill.  Suffice it to say I don't think I'm running any races this year.  But it's my goal to run next year.  I would like to just try to run a 10K on my own like I did the 5K, to see if I can do it.  Small steps though; I'm just hoping for 5/7 days at the gym this week.

202.4; Still Here, Plugging Along

Remember when I said to pray for me?  Well the weekend consisted of crying ,whining, yelling (me included), mosquito bites, chigger bites, and exhaustion.  At one point I took a crappy shower.  Not because I needed it, but because it's the only child free zone for 30 minutes.

Then I ended up with a migraine on Monday.

Then I worked 14 hours on Tuesday.

Today is Wednesday.  I think.  Maybe.  No really.

I'm just hoping Friday swongs around again.  Soon.

That's my update and I'm sticking to it.